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  #1  
Old 10-24-12, 06:47 PM
jman05 jman05 is offline
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SCT...Ever feel like you are brain damaged?

I feel like I am just a person with brain damage. Because my brain can't function normally like others and process information. I can't even do simple things like list to simple instructions or recall and focus on reading. When playing sports, I can never keep track of the score. When my GF talks to me I always forget or miss what she says and frustrate her. I can't remember peoples names or focus on anything for a long time. I am just disabled enough to be considered "normal", and am compared to other normal people, which makes life even harder. At least when you are dyslexic or have other mental disabilities you receive the comparisons, accommodations, and considerations of a disabled person. You are not expected to live a normal life.
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Old 10-24-12, 06:51 PM
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Fraser_0762 Fraser_0762 is offline
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Re: SCT...Ever feel like you are brain damaged?

To be fair, I don't think dyslexics have it any easier than we do. They face criticism just as much as we do.

But I hear you. I feel like a part of my brain just isn't there. I recognize what is missing, but I can't seem to compensate for what isn't there.
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Old 11-08-12, 07:28 AM
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Re: SCT...Ever feel like you are brain damaged?

Yes I do. I think I'd rather be dyslexic. Ican't read much more than a few pages now. At the very least I would be able to do what I want and follow through on tasks. I worked in a small boat shop a long time ago with a fellow who was dyslexic. The shop owner color coded the different work stations and had charts posted with the order things needed to be done. He could get the job done and get it done much quicker and more accurately than I could. I had great difficulty switching from one task to another and would "space out" in the middle of a job. The owner considered me "normal" and would be constantly correcting me or directing me to the next task. I was only kept on the job because I was willing to work for mininum wage.
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Old 11-08-12, 04:59 PM
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Re: SCT...Ever feel like you are brain damaged?

Yeah, it's like brain damage that runs in the family...
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Old 11-16-12, 04:38 PM
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Re: SCT...Ever feel like you are brain damaged?

Yes, I do. It feels as if I can't keep anything together inside my mind. It feels as if everything is flying around.
I hate it.
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Old 11-18-12, 10:40 PM
Jshect Jshect is offline
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Re: SCT...Ever feel like you are brain damaged?

I know what you are going through. I feel like I have tried 1000 different medications and none of them have improved my focus. I am 34 and despite having a high IQ, I am only able to do the most basic jobs. I am extraordinarily frustrated. I 've been seeing different psychiatrists and therapists for around 14 years now and none of it has really helped me at all. Next I think I am going to try a neurologist, because like you, I think something is neurologically wrong with my brain, and no amount of therapy can change that.
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Old 11-18-12, 10:46 PM
Jshect Jshect is offline
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Re: SCT...Ever feel like you are brain damaged?

Here's a thread I started in the past. See if this sounds like you. A good blog is primarilyinattentiveadd dot com. Tess lists all kinds of issues that one may have that are causing ADD-like symptoms. I have tried drugs and therapy to no avail. Next I am going to try see if it is some other issue.

I display a majority of the ADD-PI/SCT symptoms but I differ in certain ways: I can't seem to focus on anything, no matter how simplistic the task or how interested I am in the task, for more than a couple hours. Some tasks I even can't focus on for even several minutes. This is extremely problematic at jobs. My brain just completely shuts down. Every aspect of my mind becomes sluggish and I have a difficult time with communication and just thinking in general the longer I try to focus and process information. It's as if my brain fatigues extraordinarily fast when I have to focus on anything. I am contantly having to consciously or unconsciously refocus my brain for what seems like every couple of seconds, and this could be why I get so exhausted. It's like I am constantly distracted except the distractions are from internal sources and generally not external sources. It's as if all my mind wants to do is incessantly, daydream aimlessly. Often, after an hour my brain feels numb and I may even have a headache
Even when I am hyperfocusing I struggle to focus well and this is where I seem to differ from ADHDers. When they are hyperfocusing they seem to have exceptional focus. But I never have anything close to exceptional focusing, ever, no matter what the circumstances. I am addicted to what I am doing, but I still struggle to stay focused.

My situation is paradoxical because I have always made good grades on tests, such as the SATs, although I am always the last one done. My guess for why I do well on tests is because my adrenaline kicks in, which gets me motivated and allows me to apply my limited ability to focus for an hour or so. The adrenaline allows me to put enough effort into the struggle of constantly refocusing long enough to do well on a test. But even when I am focusing as well as my mind is capable of focusing, I still have to read and reread many of the questions repeatedly. It's like my mind is constantly wandering all of the time. I have difficulty with reading. A possible comparison for what it is like for me to continuously focus while reading might be what it would be like for a normal person to read if someone were shaking the book or reading with the wrong prescription glasses. Those normal people would have to constantly put a lot of effort in refocusing and they would be exhausted after a short period of time. Another way that I seem to differ from people with ADHD is that although I do seem to have a problem with short term memory, my long term memory is terrible. I will study hard and get an A on a test and then a couple of months later nearly all of the information has been erased from my memory. It seems like most people with ADD have trouble focusing long enough to get the information in but once it's in it generally stays in their memory. In other words they have as good of memories as other non adhd people just trouble paying attention. But I have trouble paying attention and my mid and long term memory suck, (but I get A's on tests.) With me the info only stays in for a very, very short perios of time.
Most of the other characteristics of ADD-PI and SCT I seem to have (extreme motivation issues, disorganization, sluggishness, in a fog, spacey, confused) basically for most of my life I have fealt like a brain dead zombie. I often have trouble with verbal communication, although I am a good writer because I have more time to organize my thoughts. I have only found a couple medications that have helped me. A Deplin and welbutrin combination has given me more energy and motivation (at times) but it did not help my ability to focus. Lamictal made my memory and communication skills much better, but it dramatically decreased my ability to focus. I don't know whether I have ADD-PI, SCT, or some other LD.
Have you ever encountered someone with these focus or memory problems. Is there a name for this condition. Is this ADD or SCT? Can you recommend any books or articles that describe these issues I have? I am desperate to talk with someone who could really understand my situation and recommend a course of action. If you have these same issues please contact me.

Thank you for reading

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Old 12-01-12, 12:31 AM
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Re: SCT...Ever feel like you are brain damaged?

Well my focus is spotty. It depends on what is on my mind or going on in my life at the time. A lot of days I can’t focus on anything for more than a few seconds. On my best days my focus is spotty all day and I miss details etc.

Yes, my mind seems to usually WANT to drift and daydream. It is its natural state. I have no hyperfocus.

I am also usually the last one done with tests, even when my scores are good. But my long-term memory is good. Short term is horrendous. I have to re-read things constantly and can’t listen when being spoken to directly. I appear unmotivated and unentuastic. I have low energy.

You sound like SCT. Your options are limited to medications that may or may not help and will most likely stop working in the long term. I've recently come to the realization that this brain I have been given for the rest of my life is mostly useless for productive purposes. I feel screwed, bitter, angry (because people don't understand and I had so many dreams for my life), and lost. I think I will be forced to find a job where productivity isn't tracked and still has advancement like a job for the government or something.
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Old 12-07-12, 12:48 AM
ADifferentDrum ADifferentDrum is offline
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Re: SCT...Ever feel like you are brain damaged?

Hello Jshect,

This is my first time posting on this forum, but I am a long time reader. I was simply stunned by your explanation of your SCT/ADD-I symptoms because I think we are almost the exact same person! By your single post, I believe we have the same strengths and weaknesses. I have always thought this "sluggish cognitive tempo" problem (very bad name by the way) is a strange paradoxical cocktail of ability and disability. (Some people have thought I have Asperger's which also involves strong ability/disability as well.) I have finished college with a 3.7 GPA in writing, but I have severe working memory and also poor retrieval of long term memory. There are times when I have gotten the highest scores in classes like Anatomy and Physiology but my brain is a Tabula Rasa - completely empty a few weeks later! This also leads a poor social life because I find it hard to engage in conversations about current general events or pop culture, for instance, but there are a few bands and such that I obsess and am knowledgeable about.

I have had this problem since very early childhood, and it wasn't a sudden onset like others on this forum. But alas, I still am functioning to a high degree due to my high sense of metacognition or "thinking about thinking" and also high conscientiousness. I think you are doing the same thing when you say you have to “constantly having to consciously or unconsciously refocus my brain for what seems like every couple of seconds.“ When I read for instance, I have to actually think about the process of reading and put strenuous mental effort to keep the thread of words I am reading from losing the concepts behind them.

Some people think that SCT is about low IQ, but it is definitely not the case. The brain fog simply keeps me from reaching my full potential. I am completely aware of this problem - this “static” or “fog” in my brain which is interrupting my thought processes. I have used the vision comparison in the past as you have done too. The analogy I like to use is that this “fog” is to the mind what nearsightedness is to vision. I am extremely nearsighted, and I cannot even recognize faces let alone read text when I am not wearing glasses/contacts. The fogginess in my mind feels like exactly the same as in the visual domain without lenses. Therefore, I believe this problem is physical not “mental” (and when people say mental many times they are belittling and implying that you have poor willpower or a non-condition.) I am hoping for the special drug or direct brain stimulation that does for the mind what glasses do for vision.

I am actually building a website called A Different Drum (or ADD) that talks about my life experiences with SCT and also raising awareness of the condition. It’s going to take me a long time however due to my procrastination, non-linear thought process, my desire for it to be just right, and also a demanding work schedule. I’ll let you know when it’s up.

By the way, right now I am trying piracemtam and gauging the effects it has on me. I have tried Wellbutrin in the past with no effects except when I mix it with caffeine.

Best of luck
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Old 03-17-13, 12:45 AM
Jshect Jshect is offline
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Re: SCT...Ever feel like you are brain damaged?

I am subscribing to this thread because I finally feel like I have found people who are going through what I am going through. I have great difficulty expressing the thoughts and concepts in my mind verbally in a clear, intelligent, linear, and coherent fashion. I read (or at least try to read) about all sorts of interesting academic topics, and while I'm reading, what I'm reading makes sense. But a day or two later when I try to converse with someone about the interesting topics, it just comes out in a disorganized, jumbled, mess. I often jump around a lot. I can't quite think of the right words (tip of the tongue) so I substitute whatever words that are similar enough to the word I am searching for, that doesn't quite make as much sense. Often times people will think I am just making up what I'm saying because of that, but really I'm just have a hard time remembering what I read, and getting it out verbally. EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING because I LOVE talking to people and I especially like having interesting, intelligent conversations.

I have found some things that help though:
Highlight or underline important passages you read
reread what you highlighted as many times as needed
Make note cards online about things you want to remember

One thing that has helped me the most with my conversation is writing. I do a lot of writing. I have endless debates on Youtube and I carefully craft my arguments. I'm still far from perfect when it comes to verbal communication, but I'm a little bit better because of those techniques. If any of you have other techniques please share.
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Old 03-17-13, 12:49 AM
Jshect Jshect is offline
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Re: SCT...Ever feel like you are brain damaged?

Sorry, I just posted in the wrong thread.
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Old 03-24-13, 11:19 PM
Christophert Christophert is offline
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Re: SCT...Ever feel like you are brain damaged?

Yeah I've always felt kind of brain damaged.. Sadly, I didn't try hard really at school, but for some reason, I could focus at 2am, on coffee if I ever needed to read.

I did better than all my friends in highschool. Some people would say that I was School smart, but not life smart. Because of the simple mistakes I would make, and that I would seem braindamaged.

About 8 years, back I shared a place with a mate for a month. He always thought it was a diet problem, when I would seem brain damaged. Other people thought I just smoked a lot of weed, but I didn't... Anyway when he lived with me, he kinda said are you retarded?

It wasn't till a few years later, that I was going to relationship counseling with a girl, and the counsiler said, that he thinks I have Innatentive ADHD. It all made sense, but he also said, to the girl I was with.. If you see someone with ADHD pack your bags and get out the door. Never start a relationship with someone like that. Anyway we broke up, and for a while, I was in denial for my problem. But my life was spiraling out of control, and I decided after about a year, to get ritalin, and now anti depressants. I will see how I go.
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