Flashbacks

[nikkinoodles]

So ive been on this forum for a few days stalking everybody and their issues so that i can compare them to my own, and ive spent countless hours researching different adult adhd articles and websites. During this I have found myself having these wierd Vietnam flashbacks to my childhood, which was quite traumatic so I have managed to unknowingly suppress alot of memories. Every now and again they randomly come back and all of this adhd reading has made me remember all of the times in primary school when I used to get teased and told I should be in 'special ed' which was a seperate building for the mentaly disabled children, just because i didnt understand something, and the time my year 7 teacher sent me back to year 1 for the day for getting distracted by and laughing at a picture of a naked boy (why was there a picture of a naked boy in our class room? we were 12!!)
The comments on my report cards every year telling my parents that I would do great if only i just concentrated and applied myself and "Nikki is easily distracted". The teacher who used to purposely ask me times table questions in front of the whole class because he knew i wouldnt know the answer, and in highschool, the humiliation of failing the dummies math class every year (we had three levels of math number one being for the not so bright people and number 3 being for the brightest) even though i was genuinely trying my hardest, and that humiliation led to me dropping out of high school early and now I work in as a telemarketer, selling raffle tickets on the phone for charities and getting abused all day by little old ladies. I have managed to achieve a certificate in conservation and land management but only because i quit, and the lecturer only then decided he would work with me more closely, and there are other things id love to study but require completion of year 12

Sorry to lay this all out on everyone here but Im not sure where else to go while i wait for my doctors appointment in december. My little country town has a severe lack of resources and community services and i dont have my license because I have been on my learners permit for 9 years now......doesnt that just sum up what a failure I am to my family.

Anyway, maybe some breakfast and another cup of mocha will help brighten my pooey outlook on life today

[nanners]

Well, hello nikkinoodles! I am sorry to hear that you are having a rough day. It is SUPER hard to wait for a doc appt that is that far out. I hope you find a million zillion interesting threads on this forum to keep you entertained until then

I am curious about your cert. in land conversation. Is this cert. something you can use for a career once you are ready for it? Or are you saying you need more schooling first?

[nikkinoodles]

hello nanners! well in australia we have a campus called TAFE, some towns have them others dont, i guess its like a miniature university that offers various courses some part time, others full time and you only attend class maybe once or twice per week. Certificate 2 is usually the lowest and in some courses cert 2 is entry level for certain job positions, while others may require you to complete cert 3 and 4 just to be entry level!
And yes there are some courses which require that you completed year 12 just to study!!
Long story short, no my certificate 2 isnt even entry level, i would have to have at least cert 4 :'( but i cant afford to go back to tafe at the moment

[Zevispaz]

Wow, you got punished for laughing at a picture of a naked boy in 7th grade?

When I was in 7th grade, we played "The Penis Game". The game goes something like this: You get the back two rows of kids to softly say "Penis" each kid gets louder than the last. The first one to get caught loses. It's bonus points if you disguised your voice and someone else gets the blame.

[nanners]

oops, I meant land conservation.

Originally Posted by nikkinoodles

Long story short, no my certificate 2 isnt even entry level, i would have to have at least cert 4 :'( but i cant afford to go back to tafe at the moment

oh, bummer

[nikkinoodles]

haha i didnt even notice you typed conversation XD

[auntcathy124]

Hi,
I'm new to this forum and pretty much new to forums in general...yes, I'm an old lady, but I'm a little desperate so I'm gonna try.... My adult son has recently been diagnosed with Adult ADD and Asbergers and I was looking for a support group for him. (We live in the Jacksonville, Florida area.) I say "was looking" because I'm quickly realizing that I need this forum for myself as well. The more I know the more I can help him and the better I can understand what he is going through. I guess that's it for now. I'll just start exploring the site.

[auntcathy124]

Nikki,

I just posted without reading your message, but for little old ladies everywhere, I apologize for the abuse you get.

Also, in reading your post reminded me about my brother's trouble in school. I think ADD can have a genetic element to it and he had a lot of teachers commenting on how easily distracted he was. His grades were poor, but he was very bright. It could explain my sons ADD. I had forgotten about all of that. Thanks for your post!

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by nikkinoodles

So ive been on this forum for a few days stalking everybody and their issues so that i can compare them to my
own, and ive spent countless hours researching different adult adhd articles and websites.

During this I have found myself having these wierd Vietnam flashbacks to my childhood, which was quite traumatic so I have managed to unknowingly suppress alot of memories.

Every now and again they randomly come back and all of this adhd reading has made me remember all of the times in primary school when I used to get teased and told I should be in 'special ed' which was a seperate building for the mentaly disabled children, just because i didnt understand something,

and the time my year 7 teacher sent me back to year 1 for the day for getting distracted by and laughing at a picture of a naked boy (why was there a picture of a naked boy in our class room? we were 12!!)

The comments on my report cards every year telling my parents that I would do great if only i just concentrated and applied myself and "Nikki is easily distracted".

The teacher who used to purposely ask me times table questions in front of the whole class because he knew i wouldnt know the answer, and in highschool, the humiliation of failing the dummies math class every year

(we had three levels of math number one being for the not so bright people and number 3 being for the brightest) even though i was genuinely trying my hardest,

and that humiliation led to me dropping out of high school early and now I work in as a telemarketer, selling raffle tickets on the phone for charities and getting abused all day by little old ladies.

I have managed to achieve a certificate in conservation and land management but only because i quit, and the lecturer only then decided he would work with me more closely, and there are other things id love to study but require completion of year 12

Sorry to lay this all out on everyone here but Im not sure where else to go while i wait for my doctors appointment in december.

My little country town has a severe lack of resources and community services and i dont have my license because I have been on my learners permit for 9 years now......doesnt that just sum up what a failure I am to my family.

Anyway, maybe some breakfast and another cup of mocha will help brighten my pooey outlook on life today

I could not read that large block of text so I quoted it and edited it.

Being able to remember or recall things is a very real problem for those of
us with ADHD.

You may not have actually blocked those memories but simply forgotten
what happened to you.

Yeah - why WAS there a picture of a naked boy in your classroom? In my
experience, most kids would laugh at something like that.

Your report card comments sound very much like mine - also comments
the teachers made to my mother at parent-teacher meetings.

Math was also (is also) my most difficult subject.

I went to school in the 50's and 60's, before much was known about ADHD.

Which makes me a little old lady. One who hates using the telephone.

It's so hard for me to tell whose turn it is to talk, so I end up talking over
the other person or vice versa, and it's soooooo frustrating.

Or they ask me a question and suddenly I can't remember the answer.

I'm very grateful for the government "no call list" so I don't get a bunch of
unexpected phone calls I'm not prepared for.

Sorry for the lack of resources - I used to live in a rural area so I understand.

Hopefully being part of this community will help until you can see the doctor -
and then after you get a diagnosis as well.

[nikkinoodles]

Sorry for the large block of text, when im on a roll with typing grammar goes out the window and thats usually the end result, it even confuses me.

I also want to add that in no way want to offend any little old ladies lol. its just that i had the belief that they were all like granny from tweetie bird until i started working there!
Also that the 'no call list' excludes charities! a fine print that most people miss unfortunately.

Anyway back on subject, i suppose you could be right that I had forgotten them, over the past few years i have found that only things that make a HUGE emotional impact on me seem to stay in my memory, like the house fire, my nannas passing, various memories of good friends and good times, even films.

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by nikkinoodles

Sorry for the large block of text, when im on a roll with typing grammar goes out the window and thats usually the end result, it even confuses me.

I also want to add that in no way want to offend any little old ladies lol. its just that i had the belief that they were all like granny from tweetie bird until i started working there!
Also that the 'no call list' excludes charities! a fine print that most people miss unfortunately.

Anyway back on subject, i suppose you could be right that I had forgotten them, over the past few years i have found that only things that make a HUGE emotional impact on me seem to stay in my memory, like the house fire, my nannas passing, various memories of good friends and good times, even films.

I totally understand about needing to get the thought from your brain
onto the screen -

after you hit the submit button you have about 15 minutes to use the
edit button and break the post into paragraphs.

I'm pretty sure none of us have been offended by the grannies comment.

I only take an attitude with callers when they won't take "no" for an answer.
When they keep pushing after I've said "no."

It took me a while to learn that I'm not being rude by hanging up the phone
or closing the door in someone's face -

they are being rude by not respecting my choice.

[Rebelyell]

Sits down an joins miss noodles for a cup of Mocha yum yum Its called repressed thoughts and some might say your experie.ncing a mild form of PTSD.I get this everytime I say something stupid or someone makes fun of me at work and all the negative things that happened to me the last 25-35 years come flooding back all at once.Yes its very mentally exhausting and depressive.On a positive note good thing I wanst in that class Id be making all kinds of sexual connotative and innuendos n jokes,yeah like that kid needs to put some pants on to hide his millimeter tweeter yeah yeah in my beavis voice.