Philosophical ADD discussion - hereditary, environment, do we really have choices?

[FightingBoredom]

Originally Posted by Heidi-S

Wow !
I know a lot of ADDers refuse to accept ADD for what it is, but you guys have turned denial and bravado into an art-form.
If ADD is such a wonderful thing, why are you here ?
If it's such a wonderful thing, why do people medicate their kids for it ?
If ADD's such a wonderful thing, why is it associated with such high rates of suicide, despair, depression and anxiety.
Is this the ADD tourist board or something ?
From the point of view of someone's who's life has been DESTROYED by ADD, the stench of denial is absolutely nauseating !

Heidi, Nobody here is saying that ADD is a vacation to the Bahamas at Christmas. YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT!
If it is your life that has been destroyed by ADD... I have to tell ya that it isn't the ADD that destroyed it. Replace the "ADD" with anything else and you may see it more clearly.
From the point of view of someone's who's life has been DESTROYED by "poverty"
From the point of view of someone's who's life has been DESTROYED by "murder"
From the point of view of someone's who's life has been DESTROYED by "fire"
From the point of view of someone's who's life has been DESTROYED by "a drunk driver"

There are a lot worst things than having ADD. Yep, there are days when having ADD sux. And nobody here will deny that. Nobody. Thing is:
HOW YOU CHOOSE TO DEAL WITH WHAT LIFE PRESENTS YOU IS WHAT DESTROYS IT OR MAKES IT WONDERFUL. Not what you are presented with.
I've found that the things I see in others are typically a reflection of ME.
If you choose that ADD has destroyed your life..you have that right and that power over your life. I would take a hard look in the mirror. Perhaps you are the one in denial.
YOUR LIFE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE DESTROYED BY ANYTHING. It's your choice! It's ALWAYS your choice.

[Digitl]

Originally Posted by Heidi-S

Wow !
I know a lot of ADDers refuse to accept ADD for what it is, but you guys have turned denial and bravado into an art-form.
If ADD is such a wonderful thing, why are you here ?
If it's such a wonderful thing, why do people medicate their kids for it ?
If ADD's such a wonderful thing, why is it associated with such high rates of suicide, despair, depression and anxiety.
Is this the ADD tourist board or something ?
From the point of view of someone's who's life has been DESTROYED by ADD, the stench of denial is absolutely nauseating !

YOu know what heidi....it,s not denial. It's accepting ourselves with the good and the bad. I choose to get up every morning and live as happy as i can be, with my strenghts and my weakneasts. I think it's called self acceptance ( or something).

If ADD is such a wonderful thing, why are you here ?
I came here because i wanted to learn more about ADD/ADHD, and in the same token , i have found some really marvelous people that i am able to write back and forth, and have fun with. Share things about my private life, and learn from others about life.

If it's such a wonderful thing, why do people medicate their kids for it ?
i guess for the same reason people medicate their kids , when they have diabetes, or asthma....
I have to say , that personaly i am not so hot about medication, but if someone takes it, and see that their lifes are greatly improve with it...i say go for it.

If ADD's such a wonderful thing, why is it associated with such high rates of suicide, despair, depression and anxiety.
Why do young people want to become policeman and doctors? they have the highest rate of sucide, depression in professions....but they say it's a great profession to be in. Suicide rate is going up, everywhere because people are lonely, very low selfesteen, depression, ect....

Is this the ADD tourist board or something ?
Well if this board is American, and i'm Candadian, i guess you can say i am a tourist

From the point of view of someone's who's life has been DESTROYED by ADD, the stench of denial is absolutely nauseating ![/

I am very sorry for you heidi, my life was destroy at one point 2, but not because of ADD/ADHD, but because of the choices i made. I decided to rebuilt it, and live happily ever after , know matter what was thrown in front of me. Again it's not denial , far from that, because i deal with my problems, i dont let them overwhelmed me, it's a conscious choice i make everyday

[Digitl]

Originally Posted by FightingBoredom

YOUR LIFE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE DESTROYED BY ANYTHING. It's your choice! It's ALWAYS your choice.

Great minds think alike lol

[Heidi-S]

Sorry, but that's just mumbo-jumbo.
ADD causes depression and anxiety - and NEITHER of those is funny ... believe me !

[Imnapl]

Originally Posted by Heidi-S

Wow !
I know a lot of ADDers refuse to accept ADD for what it is, but you guys have turned denial and bravado into an art-form.

Heid-S, what is ADD?

[Digitl]

Originally Posted by Heidi-S

Sorry, but that's just mumbo-jumbo.
ADD causes depression and anxiety - and NEITHER of those is funny ... believe me !

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. - George Bernard Shaw

[FightingBoredom]

Originally Posted by Heidi-S

Sorry, but that's just mumbo-jumbo.
ADD causes depression and anxiety - and NEITHER of those is funny ... believe me !

I have ADD, Anxiety and Depression. I'm sure there are many others as well.
It hasn't destroyed my life. Oh yeah, there have been some bad times....
The odd thing is that most of those bad times had more to do with my father telling all of his 10 children "you kids are never going to amount to anything" than they did with ADD.

It is only mumbo jumbo because you think it is. And that's normal. You want to blame something else. That is human nature and human history.
Humans are good at fixing the blame instead of pulling themselves up and saying, "yeah, I know. I was dealt a pretty nasty hand in life but I'm making it work anyway."

For example: My brother has spent most of his life in anger and self sabotage all the while blaming our father as the cause for his woes in life. Dad was the reason he didn't finish school or marry or why he can't keep a job...that sort of thing.
We have the same father, duh. But I don't harbor any resentment or blame him for anything that is happening in my life. This is MY life, not his. He has no control over it. His parenting style has no control over it unless I choose to give in to the "you kids are never going to amount to anything" .

In fact, there were a few years that hearing this in my head ticked me off so much that it pushed me to make a six figure income just to show the old man.
People don't say "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" to be cute.
They say it because it's cuter than saying...pull your head out of (what is the 7th planet from the sun? Uranus?) and deal with what life gave you.

Hey, we don't have to deal with it. There are lots of government funded programs to support people that want to live in self pity and blame everything else for where they are in life.
Of course, those programs are funded by people that choose to make life work even though when they were a child they were given a pile of steaming
dog crap to eat for lunch and forced to eat it.

It's a choice. When you have NO options then it ceases to be a choice.
Until you get this you won't have peace. Nobody ever does until they get it.

Heidi, I wish you peace. I really do!

[Digitl]

Originally Posted by FightingBoredom

IHeidi, I wish you peace. I really do!

Wonderful post.... thank you !

[Heidi-S]

Originally Posted by FightingBoredom

I have ADD, Anxiety and Depression. I'm sure there are many others as well.
It hasn't destroyed my life. Oh yeah, there have been some bad times....
The odd thing is that most of those bad times had more to do with my father telling all of his 10 children "you kids are never going to amount to anything" than they did with ADD.

It is only mumbo jumbo because you think it is. And that's normal. You want to blame something else. That is human nature and human history.
Humans are good at fixing the blame instead of pulling themselves up and saying, "yeah, I know. I was dealt a pretty nasty hand in life but I'm making it work anyway."

For example: My brother has spent most of his life in anger and self sabotage all the while blaming our father as the cause for his woes in life. Dad was the reason he didn't finish school or marry or why he can't keep a job...that sort of thing.
We have the same father, duh. But I don't harbor any resentment or blame him for anything that is happening in my life. This is MY life, not his. He has no control over it. His parenting style has no control over it unless I choose to give in to the "you kids are never going to amount to anything" .

In fact, there were a few years that hearing this in my head ticked me off so much that it pushed me to make a six figure income just to show the old man.
People don't say "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" to be cute.
They say it because it's cuter than saying...pull your head out of (what is the 7th planet from the sun? Uranus?) and deal with what life gave you.

Hey, we don't have to deal with it. There are lots of government funded programs to support people that want to live in self pity and blame everything else for where they are in life.
Of course, those programs are funded by people that choose to make life work even though when they were a child they were given a pile of steaming
dog crap to eat for lunch and forced to eat it.

It's a choice. When you have NO options then it ceases to be a choice.
Until you get this you won't have peace. Nobody ever does until they get it.

Heidi, I wish you peace. I really do!

I wasn't talking in absolutes - but relatively.
Next to the life (read normal) I might have had without ADD, what I have is at once, pathetic and lamentable.
I'm not blaming my father, my parents, my upbringing or anything else from the past - I'm blaming the hardware issue ... because that's the cause of the problem.
And I gotta say, you sound just like the ADD-sceptics who think it's all just a question of 'pulling yourself together'.
Understand, you're not CHOOSING to see ADD as a positive - you're merely ignoring what it actually means to have ADD and all the associated morbidities
Well, I'm sorry - but that's not choice ... it's good, old-fashioned denial.

[Heidi-S]

Digital, if find you're not getting a response from me - it's because I've put you on my ignore list.
No offence, but I find your "go get 'em", spectatorial posting style a bit too annoying and juvenile.

[Digitl]

Originally Posted by Heidi-S

Digital, if find you're not getting a response from me - it's because I've put you on my ignore list.
No offence, but I find your "go get 'em", spectatorial posting style a bit too annoying and juvenile.

AWwwwwwwwww and i thought you liked me

Oh welll.....
Digitl looks around for others friends to play with....

[wendybonsey]

awwwwwwwwww i'll play nice digitl

[FightingBoredom]

Originally Posted by Heidi-S

I wasn't talking in absolutes - but relatively.
Next to the life (read normal) I might have had without ADD, what I have is at once, pathetic and lamentable.
I'm not blaming my father, my parents, my upbringing or anything else from the past - I'm blaming the hardware issue ... because that's the cause of the problem.
And I gotta say, you sound just like the ADD-sceptics who think it's all just a question of 'pulling yourself together'.
Understand, you're not CHOOSING to see ADD as a positive - you're merely ignoring what it actually means to have ADD and all the associated morbidities
Well, I'm sorry - but that's not choice ... it's good, old-fashioned denial.

So, what you are saying is a guy in a wheelchair whose "hardware" is very visibly not working but chooses to accept it and deal with it and not blame his hardware for where he is, this guy is in denial about his situation??

Heidi, you don't get it. You are still singing the same song with different lyrics that justify letting the ADD beat you.

Nowhere in my posts do I say that you can choose to HAVE ADD or not. Just like the guy in the wheelchair who can't choose to have his legs back.
You can choose what you do with the situation.
If you choose to be verbally abusive, and angry, and see it as doom and gloom....go right ahead....it's your life....and you have that right.

I tried that for about 5 years. It didn't work so well for me. So, I found a way past it. I still have ADD but I left some of the crap that comes with it behind.

[Digitl]

Originally Posted by wendybonsey

awwwwwwwwww i'll play nice digitl

[meadd823]

If ADD is such a wonderful thing, why are you here ?

If you don't mind why are you here? The one thing a person who walks into a bar has in common with one who walks into a church is they both are looking for some thing. Granted they are looking for two different things but they are where they are for a reason. Out side of feeling the need to take your anger out on some people who you feel can't hurt you why else are you here? Did you come to drink, fight, or pray??? What is it you are looking for?!!! You say we are in denial well I guess you have a right to your opnion.I can handle that. Hope you can handle the fact I disagree. I do agree with one point you made some where in here. You are right I didn't choose to have ADHD, I didn't choose to be a girl, if I remember right I DID NOT CHOOSE TO BE BORN EITHER. I can choose how I live my life, I can choose how I VIEW my ADHD. I can hate having it (as apparently you do,) I can accept it, or I can expend my energies finding ways to make my ADHD work for me. I think I have suffered from ADHD long enough so I have refused to suffer any longer. What am I going to do allow ADHD to RUN my life forever? I should hate being alive because I am not prefect??? I am not foolish enough to think my attitiude will make my ADHD disappear my attitude will only change how happy or miserable I feel about life.