Transitioning difficulties in adult ADD?

[ahalo]

I was wondering whether this problem I have is a manisfestation of my ADHD or not, and figured I would ask others with ADD whether they deal with the same issue. I understand that children with ADD thrive on structure and that a recommendation for teachers/parents is to give ADD children plenty of time/notice about expected changes, etc. Anyone know why?

Does anyone have a problem as an adult with transitioning, and with dealing with last-minute or unexpected changes in routine or expectations? I don't mean dealing with change in and of itself because I personally as far as what is going on, need for variety otherwise I get terribly bored. I mean when it comes to normal routines, like with work. Like if things are always a certain way, if that changes is that difficult to deal with? if so how do you react and why do you think it is an issue for you that is related to ADD? Or do you think it's related to something else.

In my work I can end up with a few different duties; I am normally assigned one duty and I've asked, if I will be needed in one of the other roles, for a day's notice and especially not finding out at the last minute. For some reason if I don't know ahead of time that I will be doing something completely different than I expected, it causes me a lot of "anxiety", if that is the right word. I get extremely upset by it, more so than necessary. I would like to request the notification to be required in the form of an ADA accommodation but I don't know whether this is an issue I can attribute to ADHD or something else.

I also have issues with this in other areas like with friends, when making plans if things get changed I react pretty strongly, especially if my ADD symptoms are not under control at the time (like if my meds have worn off or haven't taken effect). This leads me to believe it's an ADD thing, but I guess I'm not so sure. I will always react, but on the meds maybe not as strongly, I will feel incredibly anxious and upset but I will not experience the anger or frustration that I otherwise do.

Thanks for any input...

[crazymama05]

As far as I understand it, transitioning is inherantly difficult for ADDer's. For me personally, it all depends on the situatioin. If I am locked into something that takes a lot of effort on my part, I do not like to, and often can not, "switch" gears and move onto something else. If I am bored with what I am doing then I welcome the change. For instance, if I am balancing my checkbook, god forbid the phone should ring, the dogs bark, or my husband speaks......whoever disturbed me is going to get an earful.

I am not currently on any ADD meds as of yet. Waiting for all other drugs to perge themselves from my system. So, I can not speak about how the meds may or may not affect transitioning.

[yoyo]

Hi,

I do know what you mean. Last week my 1st grader had half days all week becausee of teacher conferences. My husband reminded me as he left for work on Tuesday of this. "Oh Yeah, I've totally got it." I said.

Well all goes well as far as picking him up on time etc. then comes Wednesday. Weds are always half days so my brain sort of went back to the normal routine and Thursday rolls around. My husband dropped him off and so I was missing that cue (on half days the kids go forty mins early).

The afternoon rolls around and I'm thinking "gosh I thought I had no free time this week but I guess I have until 3 today." I even looked at the calendar this morning and noted that the only thing on there was the note that all days were half days but my mind just took me back after the routine had been re-instated.

Needless to say, I was VERY late picking him up and thanks to an unbelievably great neighbor we always have a back up but I was sooooo upset. My husband said that it was not a problem, and that he's sure many parents without ADD have done the same, and that maybe he shouldn't take our 1st grader to school as it kind of messes up the rythym of things. I thought he was really insightful as he has no idea what it is to have ADD. He happens ot be the most organized unforgettfull person I have ever met.

Anyway, that was just anecdotal but I have seen it in my employment as well.

When I first came out of grad school I was in recruiting. I always felt like things were slightly out of control as it is such a dynamic ever changing hour to hour job. I did well but worked about 70 hours a week.

Two years later I moved to compensation. I am so not a numbers person but the job suited me SO much better. It was far more stuctured and narrow. I thought that the subject matter would be a problem but I felt so much better in the structured environment that it didn't even matter. My director was great in that I was given new groups and projects every once and a while and that kept me from getting bored.

Anyway, my husband and I talk a lot about our different personalities and, personally, I attribute my tendency to get bored easily to my ADD but I also feel that I need a lot of structure as well due to the ADD. He tends to agree.

I'm new to this discussion group thing so I hope that wasn't all over the place. I just really felt were you were coming from.

[crazymama05]

Actually, I found your post to be very well put. And I have done that too, read a change, or saw it somewhere, and as soon as I am done reading it, my brain reverts back to the norm, not the change. When I used to run a bar my husband and I owned, I can not tell you how many times I would forget to pick up my daughter from my folks house. I would almost always get all the way home before remembering to go get her. Once I completely forgot until my mother called me the next day. I was crushed for weeks. But do you think I remembered any better after that incident.....NO!

[ahalo]

So do you think that part of the anxiety or reaction to the change is due to knowing that it's going to be difficult to get myself in that frame of mind quick enough to do what I need to do competently and correctly? With me, even getting together with friends sometimes is a lot of pressure, so there is a lot of build up which probably explains why, when there is a change, I am let down or am frustrated by it; I think with work it's similar, especially when I look forward to certain aspects of my job, and then the thought of "switching gears" quickly and being in a situation I didn't expect or prepare for, is overwhelming. I get preoccupied really easily by things like that. So maybe that explains the response and difficulty-- concerns about being able to get to a place I need to be in order to perform to my abilities and meet expectations...

[auntchris]

transition or beginning and ending are very difficult for me. New things are scarey for me and ending for instance a semister at college is hard for me. I get attached to people quite easily and when things change then I am thrown off and feel like I will never see them a gain. Abandoned I guess you could say. I am not sure if this is an ADD thing. I do know it is a BPD thing for me. ( borderline personality disorder )

[hayden_young]

I think this thread is very interesting. At my old jobs, if things changed mid-day or I was assigned something new, I became incredibly moody for the rest of the day, because I almost felt like I was 'put out' somehow. My co-workers would say, 'This is a stupid job. Why do you let it get to you?' And I always said, 'I don't know. It's just not fair.' Fairness seems to be a big issue for me.

In my personal life I need to know exactly what's going to go on. If things are changed, like tons of people coming over to my house suddenly, I need to prepare for that. I always ask my S.O. what we're doing each night. I've been with this person long enough that if things change a bit, it's okay and I can adjust. But if I think we're going out and doing something, and I get into that frame of mind, and then we don't go, I pace around bored and I get grumpy. The thing is: I know I'm doing it, but I don't know how to get it to stop. It's like my brain is disconnected from my body somehow and does its own thing sometimes.

[armyrebel4]

This may go off topic here a bit, but this weekend I was at a conference in Chicago. 300+ people, trying to keep up with the lectures 8 hours a day. Getting up, going into new places, trying to figure out where everything is. I wonder how its going to be like when I graduate college this April job wise. Maybe they could come up with a college class for us, but I doubt they would be able to keep up with our thoughts

[crazymama05]

Unless the teacher has ADD.

Originally Posted by ahalo

So do you think that part of the anxiety or reaction to the change is due to knowing that it's going to be difficult to get myself in that frame of mind quick enough to do what I need to do competently and correctly? With me, even getting together with friends sometimes is a lot of pressure, so there is a lot of build up which probably explains why, when there is a change, I am let down or am frustrated by it; I think with work it's similar, especially when I look forward to certain aspects of my job, and then the thought of "switching gears" quickly and being in a situation I didn't expect or prepare for, is overwhelming. I get preoccupied really easily by things like that. So maybe that explains the response and difficulty-- concerns about being able to get to a place I need to be in order to perform to my abilities and meet expectations...

I believe that it is directly related. If I new I had to do something that was going to be difficult, or scary, I could darn near put myself into a cardiac episode with my anxiety. Geez, right now I have so many thoughts running through my head that I can not pick one and put it in this post. Darn it!

Essentially, yes, anxiety is caused by stress. And us being so prone to stress, over things that to others see simple, it is inevitable that we would suffer from it.

When I worked for my husband, I was surrouded by men. I was doing a job, that even few men could do. I was considered one of the more educated workers with the skills I had. Higher up on the food chain so to speak. And I was good at it, I loved to do it. And even though I knew most of the guys on the jobsite, I would suffer horrible anxiety attacks prior to going to work. I am still unsure of why to this day. But I know part of it might of been that I was uncomfotable in this "mans" world just for the plain fact that I was the only woman on the jobsites. I still dont get it really. I will have to give this some more thought. Expecailly when I had to start a new house. I had to start from the beginning again, planning it all out, where to begin, tools and supplies needed. Once I got rolling on a house, I was generally ok. (I think I just talked myself through my misunderstanding....Yay! ) Yup, that is what my problem was, starting a new house. I love it when I figure things out on my own......ok, now I am just babbling, sorry!

Those are my thoughts on anxiety anyway.

[Overload]

Boy can I relate to this thread. Last minute changes are like someone violently dragging the needle across an LP (for those who remember LP's). It's like your train being suddenly derailed and sent crashing down the mountainside.

I wish I had some good advice as this is my nemesis as well. When this happens to me, I grit my teeth while grasping for moribund shreds of focus. Sometimes it angers me, other times it makes me want to crumble. Stay strong.

[bremersonne]

Somewhere in one of the threads somebody had written something along these lines: People with ADHD seek novelty but hate change.
That is VERY true for me. I keep moving to new places (different states, different countries), but at the same time it is incredibly hard for me to adjust and deal with it.

[kilted_scotsman]

This transitioning thing would be one of the reasons I have such difficulties looking after my kids. I find it utterly exhausting being constantly interrupted and asked questions so end up in a kind of mental catatonic state when they're around. Makes me feel like a terrible parent.

[speedo]

Getting informed about the transition BEFORE it happens makes it easier.


ME

[Scribeman01]

Yes, DEFINITELY for me too.

I do hyper-focus and when I get the adrenaline going, it is hard not to put it on hold because of something else that must be done immediately. I work in a office part-time to help out with all of the computer, admin, and phone calls, but find that I prefer to deal with something new, after the task-at-hand has been completed. It gets especially harder if there is a problem with the project, and before I can figure it out, I get interrupted (becoming a control issue) - the interruption is interfering me having the control to complete the project. I can handle a good load of work, but not with a surprise every second or so (I would especially be lousy working in the post office).

On the other hand, I love to start a project, build upon it, what it nurture into something good. I enjoy this, such working at the computer while have some great classical, jazz, folk or broadway music on. But I also enjoy sales and hunting down the prospect also. There is stimulation there and at least a plan of attack.

Great thoughs and questions about transitional difficulties for ADHD. I definitely fit into this mold!

[busyhermit]

This transitioning thing would be one of the reasons I have such difficulties looking after my kids. I find it utterly exhausting being constantly interrupted and asked questions so end up in a kind of mental catatonic state when they're around. Makes me feel like a terrible parent.

Oh boy do I relate to that! Everything I do takes 3-4 times as long as it should because of all of the constant refocusing. Every time I'm interrupted I have to retrace my steps to remember what I was doing. I only have one child but he's 5 and just NEVER STOPS TALKING. By about 2:00 I've completely had it, and nice mommy starts turning into bad mommy. It helps a little if I tell him that I need a break, "mommy's ears are tired". Well, for a few minutes anyway. I never thought I'd want to be away from son, but I can't wait for kindergarten to start.

I used to think I had trouble with change, but sometimes I welcome it as well. With me, I think it's all about mental preparation. I can deal with even huge changes if I've had the time to think it all through and become comfortable with the idea beforehand. My husband is not this way, and it's not unusual for him to change a major plan at the spur of the moment - and my first reaction every time is to be upset and go all "devil's advocate" on him. Now I've learned to just keep my mouth shut, because I know that this is just a knee-jerk reaction, and I need time to adjust before I can think rationally about it.