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Old 04-22-14, 07:56 PM
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Good day turns bad

Yesterday, my daughter had a field trip at school and needed to be dropped off an hour early. Normally, I drop her and go straight to work which usually gets me there 5-10 minutes early. I could go home, kick back, relax, and probably lose track of time and end up late, or I could just keep going and be super early.

I decide to make a positive choice and keep going. Along the way I remember that my doctor had asked me to go get my blood drawn. Of course I keep forgetting about it but now I have an extra hour and I should take care of it while it's fresh in my mind. When I arrive at the clinic, I can't find the doctors orders for the tests he wanted. I know I just saw them but I can't remember where.

My doctor knows all about the way I am and he always sends the order to the clinic just in case I misplaced it. I'm sure they have it in the computer system. I sign in on the walk-in sheet and a take a seat. That's when the anxiety and frustration starts to kick in. The waiting room was much more crowded than I had realized when I went in. I really don't want to be late but I should do this.

To reduce the anxiety, I decide to be proactive and call my boss to tell him I might be late. New anxiety creeps in. I don't like talking on the phone much, but calling in sick or late is horrible. I'm rarely late, sick, and my boss is a nice guy. This feeling comes from my younger days so I push through it and make the call. I call him on his cell, he's running late too, and it's not a problem. Anxiety gone.

The guy working the counter begins to call people up and he's requesting their doctor’s orders, and insurance card. I instantly start reliving every missed homework assignment, unsigned field trip permission slip, and everything else I can beat myself up over. STOP! The doctor sent the order in, it's in the computer. I relax.

When it's my turn I go up, tell my story, he checks, and then give me a puzzled look.

"I found them, but are you sure these are right, the order is from October?" He asks.

It seems like it's only been a month since the doctor asked me to do this. Could it really be six? This is a little embarrassing and I consider saying that I should check with my doctor and come back another time but I don't. I've made it this far, I can't give up now.

"Better late than never." I say, smiling.

The rest was uneventful and I ended up only ten minutes late to work. There were so many points in that simple task that would have caused me to give up when I was younger. It made me very happy to have gotten through it. Making positive choices and not letting my anxiety get the best of me was the key.
*

(I wrote this last night to keep as a reminder to myself to stay positive. This morning I read it again looking for inspiration and I let my thoughts get away from me. I wasted the whole morning giving myself a good mental beating.

I'm far too old to be patting myself on the back for such a stupid simple thing. It's not even much of an accomplishment because everything went smoothly. Maybe if something had gone wrong and I'd still finished, then I could be proud of myself. With all the work I've put in I still haven't changed that much. I'll never get better, I can only mask it.)

*
Yesterday was a good day, today started off as a bad one. I'll go home and enjoy my family, play with my dogs, and try to salvage what is left of today. Despite all that I have learned about myself and the strategies, just having more good days than bad is really the best I can do.
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  #2  
Old 04-22-14, 08:19 PM
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Re: Good day turns bad

Try not to beat yourself up. You learned about yourself and refined strategies for stress and anxiety. Now, you are more prepared to make bad days not as bad.
Well done

Hound
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Old 04-22-14, 10:40 PM
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Re: Good day turns bad

Everything changes.

tc

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(Robert)
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Old 04-22-14, 11:04 PM
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Re: Good day turns bad

It's the stupid, simple tasks that are the hardest. You deserve to pat yourself on the back!
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Old 04-23-14, 03:57 AM
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Re: Good day turns bad

Thanks for this play by play! Very very helpful illustration for others such as myself. Big pat on the back.
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Old 04-23-14, 09:43 AM
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Re: Good day turns bad

it's just so important to not let a little chain of sucky events ruin the whole day!
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Old 04-23-14, 02:34 PM
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Re: Good day turns bad

Thank you all for the support. It gets frustrating sometimes. I understand where the anxiety comes from. I've tried to forgive myself for past mistakes. I haven't been chronically late in twenty years. In fact, I'm usually early. Why do I still have to suffer anxiety over something I've gotten better at? Today is a good day.
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