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Old 07-11-03, 08:27 PM
jillian jillian is offline
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Unhappy Add mom, asperger's children,

Hi--
I dunno if anyone has a situation common to mine, but I'd just love to get some input.
I found out that my whole problem was ADD and depression after my son was being tested for various things back when he was 8. He's now 16. We eventually learned that he had a mixture of Asperger's syndrome and OCD. My second son, 14, may have Asperger's as well, but he could also possibly be displaying some schizotypal type behavior. My daughter, who tends to be similar to me, except she's much more hyper, seems to be ADD also. Everyone in my home seems to have an organizational problem, and it's sincerely beginning to take its toll.
I hung on when the kids were younger. I was able to control the housekeeping, organizing(which, by the way, was self taught, and was an excruciatingly hard task--but I did it!)
Now that everyone is older, and bigger, their possessions have more pieces, and are bigger. They take up more space. Clothes are hanging from lamps in their rooms. Whole families of rodents could take up residence in their rooms, and never be discovered!!
Even MY things are affected, because they enter my domain in the kitchen and they can undo all my hard work in one sitting!!
I'm so shot.
I feel like I can't keep up.
I agree that they need to do more.
They all have assigned tasks.
My problem is that they need to be supervised constantly if I want anything to get done around here, and meanwhile, I have things that I need to get done!!!!!!!!!!!--That's beside the point that I might like a little alone time with myself that I never get, because my children are not self motivated people, so they always tend to hover around me when they're 'bored'.
Any suggestions????
I used to have strength. I had been ill, and that didn't help, but somehow, I've got to make it look like it isn't skid row around here.
Thanks in advance.
Jillian
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Old 07-11-03, 08:49 PM
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Garry Garry is offline
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Taking a very military type veiw

If they dont do there jobs

Dont feed them
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Old 07-12-03, 10:25 AM
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Keppig Keppig is offline
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Oh my goodness your post reminds me of my house! My daughter is a queen of distruction and Messes. I've been trying very hard to clean up the apartment because in the Summer is when we are usually inspected and also I like a clean house! I am a single Mom and I work 40-50 hours a day. My daughter is 15 and her brother is 12 (Their birthdays are Sept and Nov, one year older)
I finally had to yell at them how important this was and I basically took all their fun things away: Gameboys, CD players, TV, computer times, If I come home and there is a mess, they get some back. If I have to have them clean their room they earn their things back if they make a mess or don't do what I ask they lose them. It was hell for a month but its eventually worked. For example Wednesday I wanted them to clean their room. They have been "camping" in front of their air conditioners on the floor, while packing their boxes of stuff on their beds. So I told them on a hot Thursday that if they couldn't go to the pool till the beds were clear and the boxes stacked near the wall. They did it. And made it to the pool at 1:30pm.
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Old 08-08-03, 10:57 AM
jillian jillian is offline
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Thanks for the pep talk!

Thanks Kassie and also to Garry for being straight to the point. I agree that I've gotten lax in my habits since my illness, but I plan to get going like gangbusters this week!
It's so nice to know I'm not alone!
hugs,
Jillian
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Old 08-08-03, 11:34 AM
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Hi Jillian,

I think is very interesting how different things group together. I have a son, 5, who we are testing for Aspergers syndrome. I have ADD and we are pretty sure our daughter, almost 7, has ADD as well. Fortunately we have my wife with no ADD to help keep things together. I can only imagine how difficult it would be if my wife had ADD as well.

Hang in there with the messes!!!!

On another note, how is to live with a teenager who has Aspergers?
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Old 08-13-03, 11:56 PM
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I completely understand about the supervision aspect. We have four boys and our oldest is 10 to help paint a picture for you. I am totally unorganized and terrible at follow up. I used to ask and ask for things to picked up, put away, etc, sent kids in all directions to get stuff done. At this point, I wonder if a couple of them have ADD like myself or if they have never been shown an example of how to operate, complete a project, and have a schedule.

I have totally changed the way I do things around the house and it's helping. One method I use is all of us work in the same room cleaning together where I basically delegate(it's their mess anyhow, lol). We can turn it around in 15-20 minutes and I constantly follow up.

The other method is I work side by side with one or two of the kids on a project. It might be cleaning a bedroom, bathroom, or whatever. It's working.

As far as your kitchen goes, get rid of all baskets or bowls that anything can be dumped in till later! That used to be my personal procrastination pit, lol!
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