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Old 06-18-14, 04:18 AM
throwaway423 throwaway423 is offline
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First time adderall journal

Hi guys, I wrote this journal as I took Adderall for the first time on Reddit, and I am copy pasting it to here.

Someone else did this so I figured I would as well... So I got put on 10mg IR once per day and I just now took my first pill. I'll keep updating this log and submit if after the effects are gone.

5 mins after: I'm worried... What if it doesn't work, what if it works too much? My brain feels different but that can't be the adderall working already, it's just me tricking myself. I'm just gonna try to distract myself and not think about it

10 mins: Starting a League game so I'm hoping it will have kicked in by the end of it. I'm still super nervous about it!

17 mins: I have such high expectations for this drug, what if it doesn't even give me any positive effects? I'm still having the same concentration issues I always have during this League game

22 mins: Will I notice when it kicks in? Still nothing

24 mins: I'm tired... Maybe I should have gotten a full night of sleep before taking this drug

27 mins: I think I can feel it kicking in... Or maybe I'm crazy... YEAH I don't think I'm imagining this... My head is spinning but in a good way...

29 mins: Maybe I was imagining it... I'm gonna go walk around downstairs and see if I feel any different

31 mins: THAT WAS THE MOST AMAZING THING EVER! My two kittens are both cuddling together on a chair didn't really notice anything different though

41 mins: I'm still feeling tired and noticing no positive effects... beginning to lose hope this will work for me

45 mins: Little bit of an upset stomach

48 mins: Getting a little twitchy

50 mins: I really want to take a nap

58 mins: Okay, I DO feel more awake now. My head feels clearer.

1 hour 1 min: It's nothing amazing but my head just feels a lot clearer... Quieter... I feel like I have energy and I don't feel tired anymore. I'm not feeling the crazy motivation to clean my room like some people apparently do. I think this drug is helping me a little right now.

1 hour 6 min: I don't feel like the world is slower (like Fry in futurama when he drinks 100 cups of coffee), but it feels like my brain is faster... Better prepared to react to anything. I just played http://www.aimbooster.com/ and surprisingly I didn't have any trouble focusing on it... Usually I can focus on it, but it just strains my mind to do so.

1 hour 10 min: I think I can definitely feel the drug but I don't feel high at all, no euphoria or anything, which I heard is common the first time anyone takes it, with or without adhd.

1 hour 15 min: What used to strain my mind now doesn't! That's the best way I can describe adderall right now. My mind feels smoother! No motivation

1 hour 20 min: I'm so happy about this! It doesn't hurt my mind anymore to focus on stuff.

1 hour 23 min: There is definitely a difference I don't think I could be imagining this. I can focus so easily!

1 hour 30 min: So I'm not feeling any happiness/high from the drug. I do definitely notice a positive effect in my focusing ability. I do get happy thinking about being like this the rest of my life. I don't notice any motivation, but maybe that's because I have nothing productive that needs to be done. I'm not noticing any dry mouth, maybe that comes with more use over a longer period of time. Also I don't feel any less hungry than I usually do.

1 hour 35 min: It's like focus comes so naturally now! It doesn't strain my head at all like it used to a lot. Just walking around it feels like my brain is more tightly in my head, if that makes sense. And holy ****, my kittens are still cuddling in a tiny chair! They barely fit! It's adorable. I DO feel like I have more energy. I don't feel tired at all. Usually if I think "I could walk to the store" I think after "Nah, too much work" but now that second thought is gone. It feels great!

1 hour 45 min: I feel more confident, relaxed, less anxious. I'm watching netflix without feeling the constant urge to do something else more stimulating. I'm hoping it will be like this in lectures when I got to college! Also, it's not like my focus gets stuck on things, when I want to switch focus to something else it's incredibly easy!

1 hour 50 min: Man do I feel relaxed... It's like... Before, if I tried to focus on something it strained my head. If I wasn't focusing on anything, my thoughts would drive me insane! Now, neither happens. I can focus easily, and when I don't need to focus my thoughts aren't crazy. With how I'm reacting to adderall right now I'm the most convinced I've ever been that I do indeed have adhd. I've had constant doubts since I started suspecting it. But I've heard adderall makes people high/gives them a lot of motivation if they don't have adhd, and I'm getting neither of those, but I do feel like my brain is just on a higher caliber... It's like it's functioning more smoothly. I didn't really think I had a lot of "brain fog" before taking this adderall but now I realize I did. My head feels so clear!

2 hour 10 minutes: Man... This is great. I'm trying to imagine myself feeling like this in school... Right now I just feel so ready for school! I could go to a class literally this minute and pay attention and take notes! Physically my stomach is a little grumbly but it's not enough to bother me. My appetite is low but it always is so I don't know if I should expect that to get worse lol... My heart rate feels perfectly normal. I feel very relaxed and calm physically, yet at the same time I feel more energized and awake. It used to be hard for me to do simple things like stand up and walk downstairs, but now it's not hard at all. Thoughts come out of my head so much more easily, it's like my mind has turned from being a scattered mess to a focused laser beam. I can type out my thoughts with such ease and fluency I didn't think was possible!

2 hour 30 mins: In a way, this is exceeding my expectations. I was worried of a feeling high/euphoric... I love being myself and and I love being in my own head and I was worried that adderall would mess with how I think but it really doesn't, it just makes it easier to think. The thought of getting motivation to do stuff also kind of scared me... But I don't feel motivated, I just feel like I'm more ready for everything. If something were to motivate to clean my room or something, I feel confident that I could do it and focus on it easily! I guess it's exceeding my expectations because it's making it clearer to me what my brain is like without medication... I didn't realize what "brain fog" was until it got lifted!

I also feel it is worth mentioning how adderall is affecting me when I play League of Legends, which I play very competitively. Note: If you don't know about this game this paragraph will be a bunch of mumbo jumbo, so attempt to read at your own risk! I play league very competitively (Challenger ranked 5s, challenger solo queue earlier this season). I know I'm very skilled and talented at this game, but a lot of times when I play it felt like my own brain was getting in the way! Like my brain couldn't keep up with what was going on. But I played a ranked game and that seemed to vanish! Usually my head starts to get strained by focusing too hard, sometimes by just csing, and almost always during team fights or extended 1v1s. Sometimes in team fights I would just completely lose track of what was happening. But now I don't struggle at all. I'm able to keep a high level of focus during fights throughout the whole fight! It feels like my brain is more consistent. My reaction speed used to waver between being good and bad but now it's constantly good.

3 hours: I am still feeling the effects but less severely. It might just be because my brain is getting used to them, or maybe the adderall is starting to wear off. Which would be weird imo, because it took a long time for me to feel the effects.

3 hours 5 min: So my grandma just called me and it felt... Different, talking to her. She actually thought I was my older brother, probably because I sounded just... More confident. I could notice it a lot when I was talking. It just felt a lot easier to have a conversation.

3 hours 10 min: I just took a walk outside and it was strange... I just felt different. First of all it was physically easier to walk around. My body and head felt less heavy. I still got random thoughts in my head, but they didn't stop me from looking around and enjoying the environment like they used to.

I'm actually getting hungry. I'm gonna go find something to make for dinner. So I'm back, as I got to my kitchen and looked at food I realized I just wanted a small snack. Guess adderall is affecting my appetite a bit.

3 hour 25 min: So I think my multitasking has improved too! Before if I tried to listen to music and play a game, I could only focus on one. I'd have moments where I'd be like "Wait... How long has my music been on?" Now it feels like I can focus on both the music and game.

3 hour 45 min: So I'm playing League of Legends, and what's striking me is how less impulsive and irritable I am. It feels like now I actually think before doing things. I don't mind at all when a teammate makes a mistake... And I'm actually complimenting my teammates! I never do that! NEVER! It might be because of adderall but it might also be because I'm pretty happy right now.

4 hour 15 min: So one of my teammates left midway through that league game, and I managed to win 4v5 (It was a normal game though, everyone was low-rank). And after that all I can think is... Where is my headache?? After focusing on a game like that where I didn't get any break I almost always would have a headache and need to rest, but I don't right now, I feel like I could do that all over again.

No signs of the Adderall wearing off. I hope it wears off sometime tonight so I can get to sleep at a decent time. I think it should within the next 6 hours, and then I can go to bed at a normal time.

5 hour 25 min: I still feel the effect but it's definitely not as strong as it was 2 hours ago. I love how less impulsive I am with the words I say! In the League of Legends game I just played, after not doing well in the start a teammate started calling me bad and at first I got mad and started typing something back to him... But then I just was able to calm down and think about it... I was able to just ignore my teammate calling me bad, and for someone like me who is usually very over-defensive, that was a huge feat! Since I stayed calm I was able to get back in the game and won with my team.

I still don't know what type of ADHD I am, at first I thought I was ADHD-PI but now I think I'm ADHD-C, because I'm usually very hyperactive with my emotions. I always threw temper tantrums as a child, and as a teenager I've just been very irritable, and I am very quick to say mean things on the internet. For once I feel in control of my emotions... I was not expecting this to happen when I took adderall. I guess I forgot that hyperactivity was a part of my adhd...

Oops, I forgot I should be drinking water. Hope this glass will be enough to prevent any headaches or other bad side effects that may come from being on adderall while dehydrated.

I feel so normal. I want to make that clear. It doesn't feel like I'm a different, better person... It feels like being me is easier and more natural.

6 hours: It's definitely wearing off. I'm back to the point where it feels like it takes too much energy for me to just stand up and I feel physically tired, but I still feel the effects in my head, just maybe not as strongly as before.

6 hours 15 minutes: It feels kind of good to let this tiredness overtake me again. I can feel the brain fog returning. No unpleasant side effects though, which I've heard can be common with comedowns/crashes.

It's really hard to explain why this is so relaxing... It feels like my brain is turning off, which is fitting for the time of day it is.

6 hour 30 min: I pretty much feel back to normal. Part of me wants to play a game of League to have a better idea on if the drug is still affecting me, but at the same time I just want to sit here and do nothing.

7 hour 20 min: The adderall is definitely worn out. I feel tired and unhappy. In other words, I'm back to normal. I don't think it's because of the comedown.

Gonna go head and wrap this journal up. WOW. By far the longest post I've ever submitted to Reddit.

Reflections: Wow. I really didn't know what to expect taking this drug. The effects weren't sudden. To me it feels like the Adderall just like... Well, it feels like it did exactly what it was supposed to do for someone with adhd: Fixed an imbalance in mr brain. It didn't strain my head focusing on stuff when the adderall kicked in. My brain felt like it was just running more smoothly. My impulsiveness with my emotions seemed to vanish... When something happened that would normally **** me off a lot, I was able to tell myself "Wait a second... I don't need to get ****** off" and I felt fine! This is I think the biggest surprise to me tonight. Usually it strains my head to suppress a negative emotion similarly to the strain I get when I try to focus too hard. But I had no trouble just pushing it aside... It lasted for around 5 hours before wearing off, and it wore off without any negative side effects.

I feel like my adhd symptoms would be better even if I didn't continue taking Adderall. Especially regarding impulsiveness. Now that I know what it feels like to be able to shrug an emotion off and not let it fester in my brain, I think I'll have an easier time doing it even off Adderall.

One thing that surprises me is that I think my experience was a little unique? From what I've seen most people starting Adderall get a lot more high/euphoric than I did, and have a crash of some sort. But I felt neither of those. Sure I got really happy, but that was mainly by imagining a future where my brain is like this all the time. I couldn't really feel the drug itself much... But I just kept noticing that my brain was just coping better with everything I struggled with before: Focus, energy, emotion, and this I could feel.

My only concern is building tolerance for adderall. I'm not really worried about becoming dependent on it. To me it feels like there is a switch in my brain that should be on but is off. Adderall turns it on, and my brain does the rest. Am I anywhere near correct in thinking that tolerance only happens with the high/euphoria/motivation some people get when they take it? I'm hoping I'm somewhat true, because I didn't get any of those effects and I don't want any of those effects.

I guess I'm just confused because I can't imagine this drug doing better or worse, it feels like it did just what it needed to do. If I upped my dose I think it might make me feel high which I really don't want. I guess it feels to me like this drug either turns the switch on in my brain or it doesn't. Will it randomly fail to turn that switch on after I take it for a while?

Man, this reflection took a lot longer to type than the journal. Like I mentioned my thoughts were just able to flow out a lot easier when I was on adderall... And without it my thoughts just feel a lot more scattered when I try to write them down. Here, I drew a picture, the top line is me typing out/speaking my thoughts on Adderall, the bottom line is off it.

http://i.imgur.com/MJ4DEwt.png

Seriously, props to anyone who read all of this. I hope it was entertaining, or informative to those of you who haven't tried adderall yet.

So for those who know a lot about the subject, what should I expect in regards to tolerance? To me it doesn't seem like I'll build it up a lot or quickly, but maybe I'm just fooling myself.

Edit: It's funny looking at how short my comments were at the beginning, then started growing bigger and bigger, then got smaller again as the medication wore off. I didn't even realize that was happening until now :P
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Old 06-18-14, 01:05 PM
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Re: First time adderall journal

I wasn't able to read it all because I'm in a down time between doses but this made me smile. I definitely noticed the shortness of the comments at the beginning and how they became far more insightful, then tapered off near the end. Reminds me of when I first took Adderall XR.

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Old 06-18-14, 05:55 PM
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Re: First time adderall journal

As a new Adderall user (about a month in), I think this is definitely a helpful thing to post. I had a lot of anxiety about taking it for the first time and was pretty confused about what I should or shouldn't expect from it.

I do want to note however that the experience had in the first few days definitely changes once your body adjusts to the medication. I think it's important to always note that unless really bad things are happening to you, the efficacy of these medications should probably not be judged by the first few days or even week. Also, everyone has a target dose, so it is also probably not wise to write off any medication without exploring different doses first. I've also been told these medications should be taken daily and regularly, and not sporadically on an "as needed" basis. These are just my opinions I've formed through my own experiences. For the record, I'm still exploring different doses and this whole process is a lot longer than I thought it would be at the start.
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Old 06-18-14, 06:10 PM
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Re: First time adderall journal

I really enjoyed reading this. It's cool to see how people react differently to the medication. Sounds like you had a pretty positive experience with it. And it works SO much better when you actually have things to do like school, work etc. I will warn you though that unfortunately everyone acquires a tolerance for it at some point. How long it will take i have no idea but it will happen eventually. That's just the way it is. Try not to let that bother you though (it probably will). Some things you just cant control and this is one of them. As time goes on you might want to tinker with the dose a little as long as your doctor agrees with it. You're on a pretty low one right now but thats common at first. I had mine increased slightly recently and its made a huge difference ! That's all for now. If you have any questions at any time don't be afraid to ask me or anyone else on here. That's what its here for. Be well
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Old 06-18-14, 06:55 PM
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Re: First time adderall journal

Quote:
Originally Posted by ibuprofen View Post
As a new Adderall user (about a month in), I think this is definitely a helpful thing to post. I had a lot of anxiety about taking it for the first time and was pretty confused about what I should or shouldn't expect from it.

I do want to note however that the experience had in the first few days definitely changes once your body adjusts to the medication. I think it's important to always note that unless really bad things are happening to you, the efficacy of these medications should probably not be judged by the first few days or even week. Also, everyone has a target dose, so it is also probably not wise to write off any medication without exploring different doses first. I've also been told these medications should be taken daily and regularly, and not sporadically on an "as needed" basis. These are just my opinions I've formed through my own experiences. For the record, I'm still exploring different doses and this whole process is a lot longer than I thought it would be at the start.
Yeah, I agree! The idea of not taking the medication every day seems weird to me. Like, even if I have nothing to do, it helps me function.

I feel like that's what it SHOULD be used for... The reason I went to see a psychiatrist about my adhd was because it was hard to function in EVERYDAY life... not just during school.
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Old 06-18-14, 07:08 PM
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Re: First time adderall journal

Quote:
Originally Posted by bglp01915 View Post
I really enjoyed reading this. It's cool to see how people react differently to the medication. Sounds like you had a pretty positive experience with it. And it works SO much better when you actually have things to do like school, work etc. I will warn you though that unfortunately everyone acquires a tolerance for it at some point. How long it will take i have no idea but it will happen eventually. That's just the way it is. Try not to let that bother you though (it probably will). Some things you just cant control and this is one of them. As time goes on you might want to tinker with the dose a little as long as your doctor agrees with it. You're on a pretty low one right now but thats common at first. I had mine increased slightly recently and its made a huge difference ! That's all for now. If you have any questions at any time don't be afraid to ask me or anyone else on here. That's what its here for. Be well
Thanks! This really helps me a lot. I've read that tolerance isn't too bad, because if someone DOES build up tolerance fast then they can just switch between medications and be fine with that.

I guess I'll just try to take magnesium because I've heard that reduces tolerance, and my older sister who has adhd recommended fish oil tablets.

I don't plan on taking any breaks from the adderall just because as I said in my previous post it helps me function everywhere. In more areas than I expected.
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