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Adult Diagnosis & Treatment This forum is for the discussion of issues related to the diagnosis of AD/HD

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Old 09-09-14, 06:46 PM
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Brookelle Brookelle is offline

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Exclamation HELP!!!!!! My life long battle with ADHD, medical professionals. Advice!!!?!

(TL;DR) (I know! But I am begging you all to bear with me)

My name is Brookelle, I am a twenty year old female who is new to this ADHD forum, but very familiar with the disorder itself.
In the sense that it has ran rampant in and really has had disastrous effects on my life since early childhood; not in the sense that I have any long-term familiarity with clinical diagnoses, as my ADHD was not recognized & diagnosed in late July of 2014!!

Background info:
Born and raised in close-minded, one way or no way little country town, with no real family. Grew into an alternative personality, differed from the norm of camo jackets and boots. i.e. ("emo, goth, scene, etc.")
Hyperactivity, impulsivity, disractability, boredom, fidgeting (inability to stay seated in class) are just a few of the many ADHD symptoms that resulted in me being labeled as a delinquent, trouble maker, just an all around BAD kid as early as Kindergarten! Not as a child with a problem, a mental disorder at that, but a worthless trouble causing problem for my peers and caregivers.

At the age of 14 medical treatment was requested from my PCP due to my increased irritability, and rage.
My PCP, like the rest of the typical community, let her biased prejudiced assumptions cloud her medical diagnose. Resulting in my very apparent ADHD being mistaken for major depression.

8 different anti-depressants over the course of the next five years, to little or no avail, or worse yet, HORRIBLE side effects. AND still this women did not even attempt to consider the possibilities.

My ADHD went unacknowledged by myself even until this time last year, when the disorder (or possible combo of disorders) became debilitating.
Previously my first year in college I commuted between home, work, and college (an hour drive), and managed straight A's and B's.
This time last year, I got an apartment, after all utilities and rent is about the same price in gas for me, and less of a hassle.

MY ENTIRE LIFE CHANGED. I became immobilized by the responsibilities, by the sheer thought of budgets, bills, homework, and other various obligations.
My mind was an unsortable, untouchable, impartable fog of nothingness, chaos and clutter.
I shut down. Mentally. Physically. I could not preform academically, let alone function on a normal daily basis......

I withdrew from the majority of my classes (dropped 11 hours out of 17) as I did not want whatever was going on (the effect of undiagnosed ADHD) to reflect poorly on what my actual abilities were.

I proceded to take the Spring semester off to figure out what was happening to my mind.
Discontinued my 6 year long PCP relationship (only after our last appointment (Feb 14) in which I complained about the Fluxotine not significantly improving my symptoms, only to be told "I'll do what I do for all college kids your age who have trouble paying attention, take a double dose!!!" And, if her not even considering me as an individual was not bad enough, she had the audacity to send me a recent letter TERMINATING SERVICES at the request that she write a letter on my behalf in regards to my seeking mental health treatment, and having a mental delimia causing me to place scholarships on hold for the Spring semester)

I know one of the characteristics of people with ADHD is conflict seeking, BUT I REALLY WANT TO PURSUE SOME SORT OF ACTION AGAINST SUCH NEGLIGENCE AND INCONSIDERATION from someone I paid for the last six years to care for my VERY life....... I doubt that I can, or even should, but it thinking about it still boils my blood.

In March 2014, I began therapy services, and started seeing their psychiatrist. They began treating for Major depersion based on previous medical history.
Found a new PCP in March for which I addressed my concerns of complete lack energy(extremely lethargic), concentration, light headed sensations, dizzy spells, and just over all feeling very bad and weak.
He was the first to suggest the possibility of ADHD.

Weeks later, I mentioned this to my psychiatrist in our second meeting, and she literally laughs in my face and says something along the lines of --it being highly unlikely for someone of YOUR AGE to have ADHD, without a prior diagnose.
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL *U**?! As if it was my fault that I had neglectful, inattentive family members and an incompetent childhood PCP?!!!!!!!!!!!!

I immidently switched over to the only other psychiatrist the facility has, and told my theapist about the PCP suggestion and previous psychiatrist interaction. And, she refereed me for ADHD testing/psych evaluation.
Testing was conducted in... Late May, early June?
And, let me just note: I have spent close to $2,000 since January trying to get to a healthier, or even normal, or even FUNCTIONING state of mind.
If I was "med seeking", I would have used that money a lot more efficiently, and had much faster results.
During the testing I answered all questions honestly, as I wanted to be honest so I could receive the proper treatment. HOWEVER; when asked if I had ever smoked pot, or used any type of stimulant, which as a college student, I have. But, not frequently and not in an addictive manner.
For example** I bought 15 30mg Adderall Rx from a friend this time last year, during the struggle, I HAD SEVEN REMAINING A YEAR LATER.
I did not have a problem, or abuse this substance, I simply used a tool that should have already been provided to me.

Regardless he took this and ran with it.... And really implied that it WAS depression that was my problem, and although the testing did show that I had ADHD he made special notes that it was not of primary concern and I could be "trying to get a sense of euphoria".

Reluctantly my new psychiatrist began treating my ADHD in July in perception for my return to college in the upcoming fall semester.
However; he has since continued to treat me as if depression as the main concern, under treating the ADHD, which most likely is the root cause of the depression (if there even is any), and has for the most part ignored my anxiety.

Start of the semester (from July psych appointment) I was on 150 mg of zoloft (sertraline), 30 mg of Vyvance, and 30 mg of Tramazapam.
For the first few weeks of August everything was fine.
A few weeks later (Aug 18th) school started back and A NEW problem arose. I began having moments of mania, irritability, panic attacks, trembles, crying spells,periods of time where I became overly emotional to having no emotions. I became stuck inside my own head, stuck on the small details of things, stuck on the meticulous insignificant details of things, and compulsively worrying that yet again IMMOBILIZED ME. etc.

I had a psych appointment this time last week, explained this to him, he showed little to no concern, and even mocked me when suggesting something that has a longer duration than Vyvance based on various articles and personal testimonies found via the interwebs.
He raised the Sertraline to 200mg at bedtime, Vyvance to 40mg in the morning, and Tramazapam stayed the same..........

I had an emergency meeting with my therapist Friday 9/5/14, she also expressed little concern.. She does not even believe that a change in environment and lack of structure in life could result in such a drastic hindering change in mental health.
......Do these people even read up on the disorders they treat, or....? Because it is kind of a..proven statistic....


Does anyone have any advice?!
I have scheduled an appointment with a new therapist, one that is supposed to be more qualified in my areas of concern.
I have already been to the neurologist, he only did an MRI and EEG and said everything came back practically normal...
I will most likely end up following up on his recommendation of a neuropsych eval.

But, in the meantime...
This is my life. My future. My job (which I quit due to a shut down moment, amongst other things).
This is my college career on the line!!!!!!!!!! My scholarships.
And, these paid medical professionals do not even seem to give a single ...

Medically, legally, spiritually;
How should one react, and how can one improve these very VERY important problems??
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Old 09-10-14, 01:48 AM
sofffija sofffija is offline

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Re: HELP!!!!!! My life long battle with ADHD, medical professionals. Advice!!!?!

Hi! I am also new to this forum, also struggled with ADD all my life (but I was never hyper). I am 39 now and diagnosed only this year. Unfortunately I live in country where adult ADD is not still recognized, or even if it is - practically no treatment options
Why I responded to your post is - if you live in US you have more possibilities I will ever have in my life... Where do you live?
I went to US clinic (amen clinic) which I highly recommend. I also was in situation when all my symptoms became debilitating and I found myself not being able to function at all. I spent 3500 usd for my diagnose but it was worth it. They do brain spect scans. You can read about them. I got my diagnoses (ADD and PTSD) but now I am left without treatment options here where I live... They prescribed me 90 days of adderall and I have 10 pills left. No fun at all...
Just wanted to support you and if you live in US you CAN find good treatment!
Be blessed!!!
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Old 09-11-14, 11:23 AM
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Brookelle Brookelle is offline

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Re: HELP!!!!!! My life long battle with ADHD, medical professionals. Advice!!!?!

I am from the US.

However; unfortunately I am from the southern states, in which mental aliments are not throughly considered and treated properly.

What kind of clinic did you have the luck with? Just a regular US clinic, or?

I have tried both my PCP clinic and the clinic that I receive "treatment" and counseling from, and both have not helped enough..
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