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Old 09-28-15, 08:19 PM
MNmissile MNmissile is offline
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Newly Diagnosed 29 Year Old

Hello everyone out there!

So it seems I am not that unusual of a case based on what I am seeing in the posts. I was just diagnosed as having a combined ADHD which basically means I have traits that pertain to the inattentive and hyperactive forms of ADHD. I guess I am not too surprised considering I have always thought I was a different sort of person than most. I have always had a different perspective than most people, and slightly more energy as well.

It's not until certain things in my life started to crumble that I came to find help from a professional. I had smoked Marijuana for 16 years straight, no breaks, and with bad consequences to both my personal life and bank account. Being a parent of 4 kids (5th one on the way) and married to my high school sweetheart is a major blessing. My kids definitely steered me into a better path, and my wife keeps me on track when I start to derail. That said, it isn't always easy for her to see things my way. So when she asked me to stop smoking weed everyday, I said I would...but really didn't want to. It wasn't until I basically spent over $500 a week on weed that it became a much bigger problem. She found out that I only said I was going to quit, and in fact started smoking a lot more. That was bad news for our relationship.

I decided it was time for professional help. I went to an addiction specialist to tell her of my recent struggles. I described how it help me calm down, helped me sleep at night. Basically it turned my brain off at night so I could sleep. If I couldn't find any weed around it would seriously keep me up because my thoughts wouldn't stop. That was the tip of the ice berg for symptoms but from there she asked me about my child hood.

Sure I was disruptive, couldn't pay attention(unless I liked the class), skipped out on school and got generally just ok grades. Didn't most boys feel and act that way? I thought school was so boring and I already knew most of the stuff I was being taught but didn't care to apply myself. The state assessments were a different story. When my poor grades didn't add up to my 98th percentile scores my parents just thought I was lazy. They saw I knew this stuff well, but my grades didn't reflect it one bit. So I was seen as lazy by my parents for most of my childhood and beyond.

Not until I tried to finish a college degree...THREE different times.... did it occur to me that school just really wasn't my strong point. I knew it was important but I couldn't focus long enough to even turn in a paper. I would fall asleep in class, I would miss deadlines due to my extremely poor organization. My life was a disorganized failure. Then it started affecting every portion of my life. And I started having feelings of anxiety, shame, guilt, depression and feeling like an outcast because of my constant failures. I basically stopped applying myself in all areas due to my expectations that I would fail anyway.

That brought me to getting diagnosed...first a shock, then with reading a few books and now coming to this site it is very much who I am. I denied it at first and now am learning to embrace it. It's a part of me, but doesn't define me!

Well that is all I will say for now, thanks for reading my longer than expected description of my journey that has brought me here. I'm hoping this community of people will help me on my future path and getting some questions answered that may crop up along the way.

Take care!
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Old 09-28-15, 09:04 PM
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Unmanagable Unmanagable is offline
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Re: Newly Diagnosed 29 Year Old

Welcome to the neighborhood! Glad you chose to be a part of the community. Lots of good peeps and a wealth of info to be found this sacred space.
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"You torment yourself wondering how they could not love your burning heart. And the answer darling, you are not the star you thought you were. You are the f******g universe and not everybody is an astronaut." ~Unknown
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Old 09-29-15, 02:50 PM
MNmissile MNmissile is offline
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Re: Newly Diagnosed 29 Year Old

Thanks! I'm already enjoying all the interesting threads on this forum. Can't stop checking it out!
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