ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > CO-EXISTING CONDITIONS > Anxiety Disorders, OCD & PTSD
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Anxiety Disorders, OCD & PTSD A forum to discuss Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Panic Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Simple Phobias, and Social Anxiety Disorder

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-10-16, 11:46 PM
BellaVita's Avatar
BellaVita BellaVita is offline
Mrs dvdnvwls
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: -
Posts: 14,503
Thanks: 28,348
Thanked 18,904 Times in 9,304 Posts
BellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond repute
Smile Need tips on how to deal with good change

I wasn't sure where to put this, but since it is a combination of my disorders and the main thing is anxiety/trouble dealing with change I thought I'd put it here in the anxiety section.

I have many good things in my life nowadays, and good changes that are occurring.

I have multiple good things coming up, and another new change coming up, and even though I know they are good I'm feeling anxious + excitement + adrenaline etc. (My heart is beating fast right now, my foot can't stop moving, I can't stop wiggling around, my breathing is faster.)

Like, I become so comfortable with how things are, even if things are getting better and happier for me, I have trouble dealing.

I think I'm also nervous about the downsides, because often, every good change has one tiny negative thing to go with it - something that I logically know is insignificant and pretty much meaningless/not something to fret about in the long run.

Just the schedule change itself/things to prepare for is enough to send me into lots of anxiety.

But yet this is GOOD these things are good and I'm so happy!

It's like ahh, so many positive emotions and yet so much nervousness. And a mixture of relief and joy and over-the-top excitement and then planning and then everything!

Any tips on how to deal? Also would like some support, really I think that's a big thing I need, verbal support. Thank you.
__________________
What ifs are like poop. It's better to flush them right away, or the whole place will soon stink. - dvdnvwls
Remember life and then your life becomes a better world.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BellaVita For This Useful Post:
Little Missy (02-11-16), stef (02-11-16)
  #2  
Old 02-10-16, 11:58 PM
Fortune's Avatar
Fortune Fortune is offline
I eat shades of red.
 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: The Candy Kingdom, Land of Ooo
Posts: 12,429
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 11,961
Thanked 22,202 Times in 9,398 Posts
Fortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Need tips on how to deal with good change

I understand how you feel - any change is terrible for me, and even changes I look forward to can be incredibly stressful. I wish I had a good coping mechanism no I have terrible anxiety coping mechanisms and some of them stopped working.

Much sympathy for you though.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Fortune For This Useful Post:
BellaVita (02-10-16)
  #3  
Old 02-11-16, 12:01 AM
BellaVita's Avatar
BellaVita BellaVita is offline
Mrs dvdnvwls
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: -
Posts: 14,503
Thanks: 28,348
Thanked 18,904 Times in 9,304 Posts
BellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Need tips on how to deal with good change

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fortune View Post
I understand how you feel - any change is terrible for me, and even changes I look forward to can be incredibly stressful. I wish I had a good coping mechanism no I have terrible anxiety coping mechanisms and some of them stopped working.

Much sympathy for you though.
Thank you - I appreciate your words. Sorry you have to deal with this type of anxiety too.
__________________
What ifs are like poop. It's better to flush them right away, or the whole place will soon stink. - dvdnvwls
Remember life and then your life becomes a better world.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to BellaVita For This Useful Post:
Fortune (02-11-16)
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 02-11-16, 07:02 AM
stef's Avatar
stef stef is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: west of Paris
Posts: 18,394
Thanks: 37,385
Thanked 27,110 Times in 13,166 Posts
stef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Need tips on how to deal with good change

Oh, I totally get this!
Whenever there have been huge changes like this (that I had been hoping would work out), there is this immense relief and ecstasy but then the anxiety of the newness of everything.

Goodness a very long time ago I had a part time job and my husband was in his last month of unemployment benefits. WELL we both found out within 10 days, that we each got the full time jobs we had been so desparetely hoping for. IN DIFFERENT CITIES. so he was commuting and just home on weekends and I became suddenly during the week, like a single mom with a full time job.

I have no advice except just try to keep the happy part of this going and "harvest"the energy from it, for the planning parts. Easier said than done, though!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to stef For This Useful Post:
BellaVita (02-11-16)
  #5  
Old 02-11-16, 08:18 AM
BellaVita's Avatar
BellaVita BellaVita is offline
Mrs dvdnvwls
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: -
Posts: 14,503
Thanks: 28,348
Thanked 18,904 Times in 9,304 Posts
BellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Need tips on how to deal with good change

Quote:
Originally Posted by stef View Post
Oh, I totally get this!
Whenever there have been huge changes like this (that I had been hoping would work out), there is this immense relief and ecstasy but then the anxiety of the newness of everything.

Goodness a very long time ago I had a part time job and my husband was in his last month of unemployment benefits. WELL we both found out within 10 days, that we each got the full time jobs we had been so desparetely hoping for. IN DIFFERENT CITIES. so he was commuting and just home on weekends and I became suddenly during the week, like a single mom with a full time job.

I have no advice except just try to keep the happy part of this going and "harvest"the energy from it, for the planning parts. Easier said than done, though!
Oh my! That is quite the change.

Thanks, I like that idea of "harvesting" the energy from it, at least I will try to do that.
__________________
What ifs are like poop. It's better to flush them right away, or the whole place will soon stink. - dvdnvwls
Remember life and then your life becomes a better world.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to BellaVita For This Useful Post:
stef (02-11-16)
  #6  
Old 02-11-16, 08:39 AM
Unmanagable's Avatar
Unmanagable Unmanagable is offline
Societal Malarkey Sorter
 

Join Date: May 2011
Location: Over Yonder in the USA
Posts: 15,709
Thanks: 34,989
Thanked 17,792 Times in 8,903 Posts
Unmanagable has disabled reputation
Re: Need tips on how to deal with good change

It's tricky for me, too. I feel I've been successful in learning to better recognize and acknowledge when my body is reacting to the good stress vs. when it's a differently rooted issue, but that doesn't help much in lessening my default physical cellular responses.

Instead of retreating and hiding from ALL stress like I used to, I learned to expand and embrace, then try to channel it into whatever healing tool best fits my need in the moment, if that makes sense. That helps me show up to more opportunities more often than I used to, but doesn't always help me process the emotions.

I think stef nailed it with the harvesting of the energy suggestion. Everything is energy and if we can learn to recognize it, acknowledge it, learn where the roots are, nurture it as necessary, and allow the emotions, some pretty magical stuff has the potential to take place within, from what I've experienced so far. Breathe deeply, often, and on purpose. That keeps me grounded better than anything else I've ever tried.
__________________

"You torment yourself wondering how they could not love your burning heart. And the answer darling, you are not the star you thought you were. You are the f******g universe and not everybody is an astronaut." ~Unknown
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Unmanagable For This Useful Post:
BellaVita (02-11-16), Pilgrim (03-26-16), stef (02-11-16)
  #7  
Old 02-11-16, 08:43 AM
Little Missy's Avatar
Little Missy Little Missy is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: BIG, Wonderful, Wyoming USA
Posts: 15,779
Thanks: 23,442
Thanked 21,519 Times in 11,543 Posts
Little Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Need tips on how to deal with good change

I have the same problem. Good change elicits the same terror as bad changes can to me also. Any kinds of changes can provoke feelings of instability. What do I do? Cry a lot, dig my heels in, isolate...eventually I just figure it all just is and I slowly am able to adapt myself. On my terms.

It always turns out fine in the end.
__________________
The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you are uncool ~ Lester Bangs

And in the end, the love you take; is equal to the love you make...Beatles Abbey Road 1969
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Little Missy For This Useful Post:
BellaVita (02-11-16), Pilgrim (03-26-16), stef (02-11-16), Unmanagable (02-11-16)
  #8  
Old 02-11-16, 08:55 AM
stef's Avatar
stef stef is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: west of Paris
Posts: 18,394
Thanks: 37,385
Thanked 27,110 Times in 13,166 Posts
stef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Need tips on how to deal with good change

The problem too is that there are still all the physical effects of the anxiety that you had just been in, it doesnt just vanish magically.
I mean if you had not been sleeping well, wondering about a job or being accepted to a college or whatever, you are still going to have that fatigue somewhere.
(I just thought of this now!)
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to stef For This Useful Post:
BellaVita (02-11-16), Little Missy (02-11-16), Unmanagable (02-11-16)
  #9  
Old 03-23-16, 11:51 AM
KarmanMonkey KarmanMonkey is offline
Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Kitchener, ON, Canada
Posts: 1,392
Thanks: 188
Thanked 2,217 Times in 994 Posts
KarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Need tips on how to deal with good change

I totally get where you're coming from... I've had so much new in my life the last few years, and I'm still feeling like I'm standing on shifting sand... My life is great, but nothing has "settled". My life has very little resemblence to the one I had before.

New city
New marriage
New job
New house (first time home owner)
New to being a dad (14months and counting)
New role as chair for a big event where I work
Ever changing job description
New manager last year, new program director this year

I'd say all have proven to be positive changes, but MAN! What I wouldn't give to be able to put life on pause for a little while so I can just find my bearings again!

I've talked to people who have learned to like the uncomfortable feeling of new experiences. Personally I don't get it.

All I can say is that now I KNOW that positive change is stressful for me, and I prepare for it and do my best to have a lot of self care and support for those times.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to KarmanMonkey For This Useful Post:
BellaVita (03-26-16)
  #10  
Old 03-23-16, 02:01 PM
TheGreatKing's Avatar
TheGreatKing TheGreatKing is offline
ADDvanced Contributor
 

Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: vancouver bc canada
Posts: 585
Thanks: 285
Thanked 612 Times in 323 Posts
TheGreatKing is a splendid one to beholdTheGreatKing is a splendid one to beholdTheGreatKing is a splendid one to beholdTheGreatKing is a splendid one to beholdTheGreatKing is a splendid one to beholdTheGreatKing is a splendid one to beholdTheGreatKing is a splendid one to beholdTheGreatKing is a splendid one to behold
Re: Need tips on how to deal with good change

I get anxiety overthinking change but my impulsive nature keeps me going.
stressful i tell you
__________________
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live ~ Marcus Aurelius
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to TheGreatKing For This Useful Post:
BellaVita (03-26-16)
  #11  
Old 03-26-16, 03:55 PM
BellaVita's Avatar
BellaVita BellaVita is offline
Mrs dvdnvwls
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: -
Posts: 14,503
Thanks: 28,348
Thanked 18,904 Times in 9,304 Posts
BellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond reputeBellaVita has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Need tips on how to deal with good change

So one of the very good things that I was talking about in my post happened....

And it was one of the best experiences of my life!

And I talked about it with people lots after it happened....

But now, I can't think about it without shutting down. The emotions are TOO good and so they overwhelm my body and brain.

I want to think about it, but just thinking about thinking about it causes me anxiety.

At least I succeeded in the event, and good things happened, and I know those memories are in my brain and hopefully won't fall out.
__________________
What ifs are like poop. It's better to flush them right away, or the whole place will soon stink. - dvdnvwls
Remember life and then your life becomes a better world.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BellaVita For This Useful Post:
Pilgrim (03-26-16), Unmanagable (03-26-16)
  #12  
Old 04-01-16, 03:34 PM
KarmanMonkey KarmanMonkey is offline
Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Kitchener, ON, Canada
Posts: 1,392
Thanks: 188
Thanked 2,217 Times in 994 Posts
KarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond reputeKarmanMonkey has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Need tips on how to deal with good change

Let me guess; you're not just thinking about the outcome, but also about the implications of the outcome.

For example, say I'd do well at task x. Rather than just thinking "Hey! That went well" I'd be filled with a miriad of other thoughts like:

"Now that I've done X people will always expect me to be able to do X"
"Now that I've done X the next step is to do Y" (Y being something that's still intimidating)
"What if I try X tomorrow and it doesn't work out"
"Now that I've done X, what does that MEAN? What's my next step?"
"This is new. And weird. And therefore uncomfortable."
"Oh no! People now know I can do X!"

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. For me, it becomes overwhelming because there are so many competing thoughts and feelings. It's okay to set it aside, and think about it in small doses.

The good news is that since it is such an intensely good experience, there's a good chance some of that positivity will remain a good while later, and still bring a smile to your face when you think about it.

As far as remembering it, maybe keep a folded card in your wallet with dates and a word or two for each "yay!" moment. When you're feeling blah, the card might bring a smile or two :-)
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Good Pill Hider / Disguisers? aforceforgood Miscellaneous Resources and Tools 43 12-12-10 02:28 PM
Possible ADHD.... Basiclly need tips for reinforcing good behaviors kodasmom General Parenting Issues 2 02-17-09 04:19 PM
Word Association Andrew Chit-Chat 13848 01-02-06 10:41 AM
Tips for an all-nighter Suq'Ata Adderall 7 10-14-04 01:52 AM
Help, why don't I feel good for what I have done - adult ADD Dsherman General ADD Talk 4 09-04-04 12:52 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:46 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums