How to get out of a Speeding ticket.

[Ichpuchtli]

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

[adhdxyz]

Too funny. I am going to send it to my sister, who is "adhd but in denial".

I wish you would have posted it last week. She just got her 1st speeding ticket in 32 years.

The saying is "A day late and a dollar short". In my sisters case, it's "A week late and $125 short".

[speedo]

To get out of the ticket, you pay the fine , and don't do it again unless you want to pay another fine.
Do it a lot and they take your license away and you are walking to work.

[KnittingJunkie]

I think it was a joke, speedo. ~KJ/C

[FightingBoredom]

Originally Posted by KnittingJunkie

I think it was a joke, speedo. ~KJ/C

Too darn funny a joke too! If you've seen the movie "Crash" that even makes this a weird joke.
Now I have to get on my
Speeding tickets are ALSO a joke. They are random, arbitrary, penalties inflicted to generate revenue and instill fear in the general population and protect the "control" mechanisms used by "the man."

With their "limited" resources they should spend more time getting the drunks PERMANENTLY off the road or eliminating the sale of guns to kids.