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Old 03-31-17, 03:25 AM
VoxPopuli VoxPopuli is offline

Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 50
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New guy and 'the gremlin'

Hello everyone, I'm not much of a "joiner"...but since my latest career limiting distraction while "Reply(ing) To All" email (this time to the company president)...when I thought I was consoling a couple of colleagues in private - I figure I'd look to see if there is possibly any help out there in the ether!?

After what I've come to call "the gremlin" reared his head recently, I find myself once again having to dig out of the rubble and find enough pieces to see if I can rebuild my reputation (again).

The difference this time? I realized ADD is more than just a joke tossed around by people who forget stuff. I was diagnosed at 8 or 9, stopped taking Ritalin by 11 or 12, found a way through high school - completed 3-1/2 years of college - and have been married for 36 years (finally, follow through)!

I also found a career I enjoy and am good at - and have been doing it for the past 20 + years.

I have been off of medication so long, I'd forgotten that Ritalin worked because it was a STIMULANT, basically an amphetamine...I swerved into this most recent problem quite by accident. After I was prescribed Phendimetrazine for weight loss - I began to find myself with longer periods of focus, controlled thoughts, projects finished AHEAD of deadlines, etc., So much changed so quickly I caught the eye of my senior leadership and was being considered for career advancement...and then I quite innocently reached my desired goal weight, completed the weight loss program, and got off the meds...

...about a week later, under more stress than normal, having just landed 3 new clients and attempting to project manage my way through them - I inadvertently "replied to all", intending to welcome a new hire (per my presidents request), and took a phone call - just as I was answering the call I remember thinking "I should send a note to the two colleagues who interviewed for this job and acknowledge that it went to an unknown candidate (only I used a specific reference from what I thought was a well known TV Show...). Disaster struck. Even thought I am a top performer, the president was so incensed by what he assumed was my impertinence and lack of teamwork - I was given orders to appear before the President, VP, and HR - and told that it was 50/50 whether I would keep my job.

Now, although nothing I typed was offensive, it was definitely received wrong, and by a very important and influential person. I agreed to appear without offering any excuses. I agreed it was inappropriate - and apologized profusely - but I'm afraid the damage has been done. I like this company, I like the staff and those with whom I work. It's WAY past salvaging the interview for that nice career opportunity I worked so hard to have a shot at...

Which brings me to WHY I searched tonight for this forum: Can I salvage this? Or, is it time to find other work?

It's tearing me up, I thought I had outgrown this, that I'd made peace with the downside because of the periods of hyper focus - that are just as unexpected as the distraction, feelings of paralysis, and depressing self-sabotage - only to find that I've been leaving bread crumbs for the gremlin...

I am considering going back on medication - just hate that "zombie" stage that seems to always accompany going back on drug treatment.

Additionally, does anyone have any career advice on ways to fix my current predicament? I don't have any expectations, more like a grudging resignation that: "oops, I did it again." And I may just be running put of time.
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Old 04-14-17, 05:24 PM
VoxPopuli VoxPopuli is offline

Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 50
Thanks: 84
Thanked 39 Times in 24 Posts
VoxPopuli has a spectacular aura aboutVoxPopuli has a spectacular aura about
Re: New guy and 'the gremlin'


I was told to drive my company vehicle 8 hours - appear before 2 VP's and my boss to answer questions and explain my actions - to which I decided to fall on my sword and apologize profusely.

It was explained that my lack of attention resulted in me sending an email intended to be viewed in private by two people - but instead was sent to 700 people on the distribution list (wonderful "reply to all"option), and that resulted in me offending the president of my company (who wrote the initial email).

It was made very clear to me that the President wanted me fired, but acquiesced to the intervention of my boss, and his boss - asking the president not to fire me.

They managed to save my job, but not without "consequences". I was issued a formal reprimand which effectively kills my career advancement beyond my current position. Since the President is older than me, but no where near retirement...

Further, it caused someone on the review team to delve into 14 years of my service record to discover that I actually have a history of doing something similar. So my infamous "permanent file" has had the label "CLH" (Career Limiting Habit) affixed to it.

However: I received a call earlier this week from one of the VP's from my review team who said that he'd thought of me a couple of times this week - said he was tempted to hit "reply to all" but just before hitting "send" he double-checked his distribution list...we laughed, I told him I appreciated the call and his support...and we hung up.

14 years of high-performance, reduced to throwing yourself on the mercy of the tribunal. Still, it was based on something I did - and at least I kept my job. It's just so frustrating to know you can do the job, you consistently are one of the top performers, yet you're precluded from even trying to advance because you have these momentary lapses in awareness/attention that cause executives to view you as a "high risk" candidate.

Someone once asked what types of careers are best for folks with ADD? ..after giving this some thought - I recommend figuring out what it is you like/are good at/been trained to do, and see if you can work for yourself. Either that, or start a business, or become an independent contractor doing the job you have currently. You're still going to have the same difficulties maneuvering through the world of folks that DON'T have ADD - you may even lose customers - but at least you won't be fired for it.

In the end, it kinda/sorta has worked out.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Whose brain did you put in him?
EYEgor: Err... Abby something...
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby who?
EYEgor: Abby... Normal. Yes that's it, Abby Normal!
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