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  #1  
Old 07-23-17, 07:02 PM
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Arrow Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

My pseudo-boss wants to discuss several issues that occurred last week. She wasn't specific. However, the issues were severe enough for her to mention disciplinary action. Please share your experiences as they come to mind. What do you think about how she handled this?

I was floored and still am shocked. Upper management loves me. I'm one of the top salesman. My customers love me and mention me in online reviews.

Somehow, many issues occurred that involved me, last week?

It irks me that the pseudo-boss wouldn't specify what she wanted to discuss with me, and I even told her that I was worried. The fact that she did this through email speaks volumes of her professionalism, in this case.

Why would she email me about a meeting instead of calling? Why even let me know about the meeting? Why not do it on the spot?

I've never been more confident in a work situation in my life. I love my job. I love talking to my customers. I do test boundaries, always respectfully, and maybe that's irked a lot of people. Too bad. As long as I'm doing what I know in my heart is right, I will continue to do what I've been doing. If I'm respectful and kind and feel in my heart that I'm right, I cannot be wrong. Ever.
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Old 07-23-17, 08:00 PM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

What a cheap shot. Emailing you so your entire weekend is whacked until tomorrow.

Stand straight and tall. Good always triumphs over evil.
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Old 07-23-17, 09:34 PM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

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Originally Posted by Little Missy View Post
What a cheap shot. Emailing you so your entire weekend is whacked until tomorrow.

Stand straight and tall. Good always triumphs over evil.
Stay confident, sounds like to me ( pseudo boss ) might have a problem with you.

If you think your good and you are hold on to it.
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Old 07-23-17, 11:58 PM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

Reminds me of when I was teaching and 99% of students and colleagues loved what I did.....

Then one or two small things would spring up mostly because one or two, largely periphal minority people had a gripe.

Yup, I took it personally and it effected my view of my job, management, etc. etc.

O' I wish I had been able to detach a bit more, try stay pragmatic and see these peripheral matters as just that, nod my head and let them blow over...... Resistance even if truth within systems spawns collateral pressures..... just not worth it. ( At least when it effects your livelyhood and day to day enjoyment of the majority of what you do ).....
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Old 07-24-17, 12:11 AM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

Oh, that is just nasty!
It will probably turn out that the " issues" are incredibly minor.
some people enjoy this kind of a management technique, and it 's pathetic

I worked in a terrible place and that was kind of the mindset.

also at this job, once the HR manager called me to see her in the afternoon and I just started, and i was sure it was to say i didnt pass the " trial period" ( standard in work contacts here)

all she wanted was to ask me, to help out a colleague who was about to go on maternity leave and had a ton of filing and wasnt supposed to be carrying around binders.

stay pragmatic and if you have something with stats showing how well you're doing, print that out. bring a notepad ( you may actually want to write something down) and slip it in the back.
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Old 07-24-17, 12:36 AM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

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Originally Posted by anonymouslyadd View Post
Why would she email me about a meeting instead of calling?
Why would anyone call and interrupt you when they could just e-mail you, like a civilized person, and give you a heads-up in writing? (Granted, I hate phone calls, and would much rather get an e-mail, myself...) At least she's giving you a heads-up instead of totally blindsiding you!

I hope that it's nothing major, just some minor administrative things that can be easily fixed. Paperwork out of order, something like that.

I second Stef's suggestion of preparing some stats for yourself...sales, whatever other measurements are relevant for your work...and reminding yourself what you bring to the job. As you've said, you're a great salesman, and some influential people like your work, so you have that in your favor.

I would suggest not going in all defensive, with the attitude that you can do no wrong, or you may end up sticking your foot in your mouth hard, or otherwise saying things that don't help your case. It's possible that there is something you weren't aware of that could help you grow, so be prepared to receive constructive criticism. You can evaluate it later and decide to take it or leave it (or tell her to shove it), but have open ears and an open mind.

EDIT: Also may be a good idea to jot notes for your reference -- if there are things you need to do, it would be good to have a record of them. And if what she's saying is BS, having a record could make it easier for you to document that it's BS and how you're actually exceeding expectations.

Best wishes for a productive meeting!

Last edited by namazu; 07-24-17 at 12:54 AM..
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Old 07-24-17, 01:27 AM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

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Originally Posted by someothertime View Post
O' I wish I had been able to detach a bit more, try stay pragmatic and see these peripheral matters as just that, nod my head and let them blow over...... Resistance even if truth within systems spawns collateral pressures..... just not worth it. ( At least when it effects your livelyhood and day to day enjoyment of the majority of what you do ).....
I'm sorry how that experience worked out for you. I've been there. I know that taking matters personally will only hurt me. Taking things personally makes me feel like I'm out of control of my circumstances.

I treat my customers like treasure, and when they don't receive the service they deserve, I attack the issue until it's solved. I owe them that.

It sucks that I can't prepare for the meeting. I think I'll write some things that I think she may say so that I'm prepared to respond or just be silent.

I'm wondering if I'm going to have to take a bunch of criticism and just deal with it.
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Old 07-24-17, 01:32 AM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

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stay pragmatic and if you have something with stats showing how well you're doing, print that out. bring a notepad ( you may actually want to write something down) and slip it in the back.
What do you mean? What do you suggest that I write down? Should I have a script prepared? I'm thinking that I'll show her that I respect her and her words. I will show her that I'm listening intently and hear her. I also hope to not appear defensive.

It's a great idea to bring in statistics. I just don't want to appear like I have leverage that I actually don't have. Whether I believe it's an issue or not, they do, and that's the most important thing I guess. However, I feel better when doing what I feel is right and dealing with the consequences later. I'm not on this earth to make people happy.
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Old 07-24-17, 01:49 AM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

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Originally Posted by namazu View Post
Why would anyone call and interrupt you when they could just e-mail you, like a civilized person, and give you a heads-up in writing? (Granted, I hate phone calls, and would much rather get an e-mail, myself...) At least she's giving you a heads-up instead of totally blindsiding you!
True! Either scenario stinks, but I'd choose the immediacy of being blindsided over anxiety-filled waiting. Isn't it better to handle issues as they come instead of waiting? I'm surprised that she would conduct herself in this way. Seriously. I have a decent amount of respect for her and what she does.
Quote:
I hope that it's nothing major, just some minor administrative things that can be easily fixed. Paperwork out of order, something like that.
I wish. Could it really be that simple? Why would she mention potential disciplinary action?
Quote:
I second Stef's suggestion of preparing some stats for yourself...sales, whatever other measurements are relevant for your work...and reminding yourself what you bring to the job. As you've said, you're a great salesman, and some influential people like your work, so you have that in your favor.
Good idea!

My philosophy is that I'm doing what I need to do in order to increase sales and grow the company. That's our goal. Maybe they don't agree with how I'm going about it? Maybe they don't see it how I see it. I've learned about sales and have read things on sales. I believe that my methodology is the best around.
Quote:
I would suggest not going in all defensive, with the attitude that you can do no wrong, or you may end up sticking your foot in your mouth hard, or otherwise saying things that don't help your case. It's possible that there is something you weren't aware of that could help you grow, so be prepared to receive constructive criticism. You can evaluate it later and decide to take it or leave it (or tell her to shove it), but have open ears and an open mind.
I emailed her back and said that I look forward to our meeting and learning from her experience in operations. I wanted her to know that I valued her experience. I've also learned to make jokes like "I love being criticized. It reminds me of being young again." I like to say and do things that help me feel more empowered.
Quote:
EDIT: Also may be a good idea to jot notes for your reference -- if there are things you need to do, it would be good to have a record of them. And if what she's saying is BS, having a record could make it easier for you to document that it's BS and how you're actually exceeding expectations.
Will do!

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Old 07-24-17, 03:23 AM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

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Originally Posted by anonymouslyadd View Post
What do you mean? What do you suggest that I write down? Should I have a script prepared? I'm thinking that I'll show her that I respect her and her words. I will show her that I'm listening intently and hear her. I also hope to not appear defensive.

It's a great idea to bring in statistics. I just don't want to appear like I have leverage that I actually don't have. Whether I believe it's an issue or not, they do, and that's the most important thing I guess. However, I feel better when doing what I feel is right and dealing with the consequences later. I'm not on this earth to make people happy.
No, i mean you may want to write something down, during the meeting!
also it looks like you mean business, coming in with a notepad. (ok that is just my thoughts on this, though )

also if you're unconfortable with eye contact at some point, jot some notes down...

and if you have some statistics or things like that, and you find it may be useful at some point in the conversation, you can just slide them out from under the pages of the notepad.
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Old 07-24-17, 10:37 AM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

Good advice above.

Even though it feels like it's in really poor taste, I doubt if she was trying to purposely set you up to ruin your weekend, but the emotional dysregulation and negative self-talk that goes along with having adhd (etc.) surely doesn't help matters.

If she was purposely being a b****, there's not really much you can do about it other than adjust your feelings for the time being. We only have full control over our own choices and how we process what others do.

I, too, remember being praised daily for doing such a great job by students, parents, co-workers, admin staff, community contacts, etc., for 13 years.

I always felt competent, confident, and on top of my game and pretty damn proud of my accomplishments. Finally!!! A place I can function and be appreciated for my abilities.

I also felt like I had my methods down pat, made time to continue to learn and improve, welcomed feedback from others who observed me daily, and was operating at my optimal level, I mean, the verbal and written feedback was all continually heading in that direction, how could I think otherwise?

However, once I spoke up and brought to light several pretty serious unethical issues that were happening that I felt needed to be looked into a lot deeper and dealt with and presented them with supporting documented proof, they made my life a living hell from that day forward, until I eventually resigned. HR was the first place I opened up to about my concerns.

Tread wisely and cautiously, but not overly cautious to the point of withdrawing, and don't approach anything right off the bat with a "know it all" attitude of any sort, even if you know for sure you are 100% correct and have proof in hand to back it up.

HR departments exist for the company's benefit, NOT the employee's, as many are led to believe.

Remain an observer, not a reactor.

Give yourself time to absorb and digest what she says before responding. Tell her you appreciate her making time to give you feedback and that you'd appreciate a little time to think it over before giving any definite answers to anything.

Responding after some thought vs. impulsively reacting could go a long way in helping to think and actively work your way through it.

I'd leave out the joke about being criticized making you feel young again, as that may send a message that you feel you are above receiving feedback now that you're older. Maybe not, but why chance it, especially in the work environment. Best wishes.
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Old 07-24-17, 06:46 PM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

Do you know when the meeting will happen (or has it already)? Sending good thoughts your way!
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Old 07-25-17, 01:11 AM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

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Do you know when the meeting will happen (or has it already)? Sending good thoughts your way!
It happened. It was about two and half hours long. I almost cried in the bathroom during our break.

I made a couple mistakes last week, and she began looking into all of my actions. However, it seemed like she needed me to believe her or believe in what she was saying. The reality was that she's the boss and I needed to follow her orders regardless of whether I agreed with them or not.

She seemed upset that I was prepared and when I presented my facts, she brushed them off. This is the same person who mentioned the importance of data.
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Old 07-25-17, 01:35 AM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

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No, i mean you may want to write something down, during the meeting!
also it looks like you mean business, coming in with a notepad. (ok that is just my thoughts on this, though )

also if you're unconfortable with eye contact at some point, jot some notes down...

and if you have some statistics or things like that, and you find it may be useful at some point in the conversation, you can just slide them out from under the pages of the notepad.
Very smart. I like the idea of making a note when eye contact becomes difficult.

She actually brushed off my stats and seemed to resent the fact that I came in prepared. I wasn't going to go into the meeting unprepared. They've done that before: come at us with a problem that had been building and shovel a whole bunch of facts down our throats, leaving us bewildered and unable to respond or provide an explanation.

Only my unabated acknowledgement was accepted. I was very honest. I told her how shocked about the implications.

I wish my negotiating skills were a little better. I might have been able to influence her better.
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Old 07-25-17, 01:38 AM
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Re: Boss says we need to discuss 'several issues'

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It happened. It was about two and half hours long. I almost cried in the bathroom during our break.

I made a couple mistakes last week, and she began looking into all of my actions. However, it seemed like she needed me to believe her or believe in what she was saying. The reality was that she's the boss and I needed to follow her orders regardless of whether I agreed with them or not.
Glad you survived the meeting, even if it wasn't easy or pleasant.
Do you have a plan going forward?
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