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Old 08-01-17, 02:05 PM
Twinsmum Twinsmum is offline
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Need advice with bedtime and household safety 2.5 yr old twi s

Hi everyone,

I am seriously struggling with containing my 2.5 year old twins. They can open/climb over babygates and out of their cots now. Can open all the doors inside the house, so i literally have no control over them and they run riot throughout the house. I'm worried especially about the stairs as one of them was trying to skateboard down them the other day and I only just got to him in time!

Bedtime is an absolute nightmare, they climb out of their beds, into each others beds and their sisters room. They wrestle and sometimes fight badly where they bite and hurt each other. Have tried the kind sleep training where I put them back to bed and say I will visit them and give them a kiss and to lie down, and they just laugh in my face. I end up so frustrated and shouting and taking away their toys etc and they just don't care. They just take the mick and even do impressions of me telling them off!

I really can't cope at all. I dread taking them anywhere because they are so out of control.

Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Last edited by peripatetic; 08-19-17 at 12:01 AM.. Reason: added breaks between paragraphs to ease reading; no other edits
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Old 08-01-17, 07:40 PM
mildadhd mildadhd is offline
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Re: Need advice with bedtime and household safety 2.5 yr old twi s

Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinsmum View Post
Hi everyone,
I am seriously struggling with containing my 2.5 year old twins. They can open/climb over babygates and out of their cots now. Can open all the doors inside the house, so i literally have no control over them and they run riot throughout the house. I'm worried especially about the stairs as one of them was trying to skateboard down them the other day and I only just got to him in time!
Bedtime is an absolute nightmare, they climb out of their beds, into each others beds and their sisters room. They wrestle and sometimes fight badly where they bite and hurt each other. Have tried the kind sleep training where I put them back to bed and say I will visit them and give them a kiss and to lie down, and they just laugh in my face. I end up so frustrated and shouting and taking away their toys etc and they just don't care. They just take the mick and even do impressions of me telling them off!
I really can't cope at all. I dread taking them anywhere because they are so out of control.
Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Hi,

What happens when you take them to the playgrounds at the schools?


M
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Last edited by mildadhd; 08-01-17 at 07:52 PM..
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Old 08-02-17, 04:54 AM
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Re: Need advice with bedtime and household safety 2.5 yr old twi s

Do they share a room? If they do, is there any chance they can sleep separately?
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Old 08-02-17, 06:32 PM
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Re: Need advice with bedtime and household safety 2.5 yr old twi s

Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinsmum View Post
Hi everyone,
I am seriously struggling with containing my 2.5 year old twins. They can open/climb over babygates and out of their cots now. Can open all the doors inside the house, so i literally have no control over them and they run riot throughout the house. I'm worried especially about the stairs as one of them was trying to skateboard down them the other day and I only just got to him in time!
Bedtime is an absolute nightmare, they climb out of their beds, into each others beds and their sisters room. They wrestle and sometimes fight badly where they bite and hurt each other. Have tried the kind sleep training where I put them back to bed and say I will visit them and give them a kiss and to lie down, and they just laugh in my face. I end up so frustrated and shouting and taking away their toys etc and they just don't care. They just take the mick and even do impressions of me telling them off!
I really can't cope at all. I dread taking them anywhere because they are so out of control.
Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Hi Twinsmum,

Try taking them to a park for at least 0.5 to 1.0 hour, twice a day, if you think it is safe.

Walk to the park if possible.

I use to lay on my stepson's floor with a blanket and a pillow and encourage out loud discussion in the dark, like we were at a slumber party or something, until he/we fell asleep.

It was a lot fun to listen to the discussion in the dark, sometimes we would laugh so hard, about things we did that day, or discuss what park we were going to tomorrow, what was on our minds, funny misinterpretations, funny stories that we witnessed, how many construction cranes or flags my step son counted that day, etc.

The idea is to promote a strong emotionally attuned relationship with your twins.

I would save any ideas of possibly separating twins, or other serious types of punishment, as a very last resort to get their attention used mostly for safety reasons only.

Keep the attachment relationship first and foremost, to promote self esteem, etc.

Better in the long run.

It's more important to develop a strong attuned relationship with your twins, than to try to make them go to bed when they are not ready.

My step-son is a young adult now.

I do not have twins, am sure there is stuff I am missing.

Maybe you could share this discussion with your husband on board, you take them to the park in the morning and your husband could take them in the evening, etc..?

There is lots of ways of promoting healthy safe development with supervised freeplay in mind, depending on the context.


M
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Last edited by mildadhd; 08-02-17 at 07:02 PM..
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Old 08-02-17, 07:52 PM
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Re: Need advice with bedtime and household safety 2.5 yr old twi s

In other words, bribe your children with emotionally attuned supervised free play.





M
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Old 08-03-17, 03:55 AM
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Re: Need advice with bedtime and household safety 2.5 yr old twi s

Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
In other words, bribe your children with emotionally attuned supervised free play.





M
I am not sure that free play or anything like it is going to work with 2.5 year old twins.
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Old 08-11-17, 05:34 PM
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Re: Need advice with bedtime and household safety 2.5 yr old twi s

I agree that a lot of outdoor exercise time is extremely important. I would also eliminate their naps if they're still napping, and then begin the bedtime routine very early. Another suggestion would be to get them very interested in bedtime stories so that you could read to them until they are calm and sleepy. Promise a special treat in the morning if they do a good job settling down at night.

Additionally I would recommend that you read one of Russell Barkley's book The Defiant Child. I am reading it and getting a lot out of it. Giving prompt consequences, offering attractive incentives, giving tons of praise for any tiny bit of good behavior and being very calm and consistent are all critical.

Finally, it sounds like you could use a second adult involved in the bedtime routine for now until things start to get better. The second person ideally would basically just be an extension of you, the extra set of hands that may be needed.

Good luck!!
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Old 08-19-17, 12:14 AM
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Re: Need advice with bedtime and household safety 2.5 yr old twi s

Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinsmum View Post
Hi everyone,
I am seriously struggling with containing my 2.5 year old twins. They can open/climb over babygates and out of their cots now. Can open all the doors inside the house, so i literally have no control over them and they run riot throughout the house. I'm worried especially about the stairs as one of them was trying to skateboard down them the other day and I only just got to him in time!
Bedtime is an absolute nightmare, they climb out of their beds, into each others beds and their sisters room. They wrestle and sometimes fight badly where they bite and hurt each other. Have tried the kind sleep training where I put them back to bed and say I will visit them and give them a kiss and to lie down, and they just laugh in my face. I end up so frustrated and shouting and taking away their toys etc and they just don't care. They just take the mick and even do impressions of me telling them off!
I really can't cope at all. I dread taking them anywhere because they are so out of control.
Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Hi! I know how you feel My boy/girl fraternal twins are 6yo now. It's been a long road since 2.5 I'm trying to remember. I used to jog with them in the double stroller a lot. Basicly feed them food all the time. I dont think my twins were fighting much at that age. I do know that when I am 1 on 1 with my kids its like I can enjoy them. And they are not constantly competing with their twin. I understand its hard to go out of the house with 2 little ones, I used to grocery shop with two shopimg carts one for each carseat. Sorry I'm not much help, just want to let you know your not alone on this rwin journey. If you have any twin questions let me know
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Old 08-31-17, 03:04 PM
Twinsmum Twinsmum is offline
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Re: Need advice with bedtime and household safety 2.5 yr old twi s

Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate the advice. I basically exercise them all day every day, mainly because I can't take them anywhere enclosed because their behaviour is awful. So i just take them out to parks or woods or beach etc and unleash them! Have dropped their nap although they sometimes fall asleep for half an hour in the car. But they are so over tired and hyperactive I think they just cant calm down and they wind each other up. I have bought a chair bed to lie down with them in their room but even that doesnt work well, they ignore me and just run riot. Theyre now starting to wake each other up in the night and start running around and think it's hilarious. Honestly I am broken.
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Old 09-02-17, 06:41 AM
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Re: Need advice with bedtime and household safety 2.5 yr old twi s

can you separate them into their own rooms?
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