ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Careers/Job Impact
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Careers/Job Impact This forum is for adults to discuss how AD/HD affects work and career.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-31-17, 11:24 PM
anonymouslyadd's Avatar
anonymouslyadd anonymouslyadd is offline
Moderator of all seasons
 

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: .
Posts: 14,341
Blog Entries: 35
Thanks: 16,589
Thanked 16,219 Times in 8,204 Posts
anonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond repute
Arrow How to handle a meeting with the president

I had a confrontation with my pseudo-boss today and made myself clear that I didn't appreciate all the feedback I've been getting. I did it in front of everyone. I need your honest feedback on a meeting I'm having with the president tomorrow to discuss it. I need to know what to say and how I need to act in the future to keep my job.

After the event, the president brought me into his office and told me that what I said wouldn't be tolerated. He was very firm and didn't want any explanation. I'm not sure if he'll want one tomorrow either.
__________________
Read three reasons to never share your ADD here.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to anonymouslyadd For This Useful Post:
aeon (09-01-17)
  #2  
Old 09-01-17, 12:02 AM
aeon's Avatar
aeon aeon is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: The North
Posts: 8,467
Thanks: 25,030
Thanked 14,267 Times in 6,380 Posts
aeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

Be contrite and give feedback to let him know you understand that what you did was and is unacceptable.

Offer no explanation, and listen to what you are told. Don't argue. Don't say the word "but."

Even if you get fired...the above applies.


Well Wishes,
Ian
__________________
@>~,~~'~ Voici mon secret. Il est trθs simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
“Well, look who I ran into,” crowed Coincidence. “Please,” flirted Fate, “this was meant to be.”
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to aeon For This Useful Post:
acdc01 (09-01-17), anonymouslyadd (09-01-17), stef (09-03-17)
  #3  
Old 09-01-17, 03:05 AM
Fuzzy12's Avatar
Fuzzy12 Fuzzy12 is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 19,409
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 31,675
Thanked 29,088 Times in 13,439 Posts
Fuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

Was it unacceptable or is there some sort of misunderstanding? If there is a misunderstanding and if you think that you can clear it up then it might be worth sending him an email today to explain. He might not want to listen to you or discuss anything with you tomorrow but if you send him an email in advance he probably will read it.

Fingers crossed it will be ok.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Fuzzy12 For This Useful Post:
anonymouslyadd (09-01-17), stef (09-03-17)
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 09-01-17, 03:49 AM
acdc01 acdc01 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,848
Thanks: 2,549
Thanked 3,690 Times in 1,880 Posts
acdc01 has disabled reputation
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

I'm not sure if I'm responding too late but i agree completely with aeon.

Do not make excuses, admit your behavior was unacceptable, and say that it will never happen again.

He might ask you why you behaved the way you did so be ready to answer that in a way that is honest but doesn't insult your psuedoboss as a person even if you do mention that some of her actions were difficult for you to accept.

I'd watch your boss really carefully too at the meeting. Watch his body language, eye contact, tone of voice, etc. It'll give you an idea of whether by the end of the meeting he's satisfied with your responses to him.

I'd also start looking for another job. Don't feel bad for this mistake, i don't actually think it matters. I dont think it changed anything. I don't think you can handle working under your pseudo boss and your pseudo boss most likely will never change. So you have to find another job regardless.

I really hope the best for you tommorrow.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to acdc01 For This Useful Post:
anonymouslyadd (09-01-17), Fuzzy12 (09-01-17), Lunacie (09-01-17), stef (09-03-17)
  #5  
Old 09-01-17, 10:26 AM
anonymouslyadd's Avatar
anonymouslyadd anonymouslyadd is offline
Moderator of all seasons
 

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: .
Posts: 14,341
Blog Entries: 35
Thanks: 16,589
Thanked 16,219 Times in 8,204 Posts
anonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
Was it unacceptable or is there some sort of misunderstanding? If there is a misunderstanding and if you think that you can clear it up then it might be worth sending him an email today to explain. He might not want to listen to you or discuss anything with you tomorrow but if you send him an email in advance he probably will read it.

Fingers crossed it will be ok.
Nah, no misunderstanding. I like the idea of sending him an email.
__________________
Read three reasons to never share your ADD here.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to anonymouslyadd For This Useful Post:
Fuzzy12 (09-01-17), Lunacie (09-01-17), stef (09-03-17)
  #6  
Old 09-01-17, 10:30 AM
anonymouslyadd's Avatar
anonymouslyadd anonymouslyadd is offline
Moderator of all seasons
 

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: .
Posts: 14,341
Blog Entries: 35
Thanks: 16,589
Thanked 16,219 Times in 8,204 Posts
anonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

Quote:
Originally Posted by acdc01 View Post
I'd watch your boss really carefully too at the meeting. Watch his body language, eye contact, tone of voice, etc. It'll give you an idea of whether by the end of the meeting he's satisfied with your responses to him.
I like this. Great idea. He's an honorable man, someone you wouldn't want to disappoint.
__________________
Read three reasons to never share your ADD here.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to anonymouslyadd For This Useful Post:
stef (09-03-17)
  #7  
Old 09-01-17, 10:10 PM
anonymouslyadd's Avatar
anonymouslyadd anonymouslyadd is offline
Moderator of all seasons
 

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: .
Posts: 14,341
Blog Entries: 35
Thanks: 16,589
Thanked 16,219 Times in 8,204 Posts
anonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

I found out that there are coworkers of mine who went to the president and said that I'm the source of negativity at the office. I was floored. He wouldn't name names. He didn't seem receptive to an explanation or anything.

If something happens again, I'll be gone.
__________________
Read three reasons to never share your ADD here.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to anonymouslyadd For This Useful Post:
stef (09-03-17)
  #8  
Old 09-01-17, 10:51 PM
anonymouslyadd's Avatar
anonymouslyadd anonymouslyadd is offline
Moderator of all seasons
 

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: .
Posts: 14,341
Blog Entries: 35
Thanks: 16,589
Thanked 16,219 Times in 8,204 Posts
anonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

Quote:
Originally Posted by acdc01 View Post
He might ask you why you behaved the way you did so be ready to answer that in a way that is honest but doesn't insult your psuedoboss as a person even if you do mention that some of her actions were difficult for you to accept.
He didn't really ask, and I didn't mention her. I only said that what I did was a bad thing to do.
Quote:
I'd watch your boss really carefully too at the meeting. Watch his body language, eye contact, tone of voice, etc. It'll give you an idea of whether by the end of the meeting he's satisfied with your responses to him.
He seemed satisfied.
Quote:
I'd also start looking for another job. Don't feel bad for this mistake, i don't actually think it matters. I dont think it changed anything. I don't think you can handle working under your pseudo boss and your pseudo boss most likely will never change. So you have to find another job regardless.
I really like this one, though. I'm trying to find another job.
__________________
Read three reasons to never share your ADD here.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to anonymouslyadd For This Useful Post:
acdc01 (09-01-17), stef (09-03-17)
  #9  
Old 09-02-17, 06:24 PM
ToneTone ToneTone is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Philadelphia, pa
Posts: 1,990
Thanks: 1,893
Thanked 2,504 Times in 1,173 Posts
ToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

If a boss gets under my skin, it really helps me to talk to people who I know will comfort me or at least listen to me ... Talking can help me think about why this boss so upsets me ... Sometimes the boss is in fact a jerk, but nall jerks trigger me ... So I find talking to people helps me connect with why this boss and this particular instance led me to act out.

I also talk to my therapist about bosses ... I had a situation at work about 5 months ago when my pseudoboss (great term ... because this person is technically over me ... but doesn't evaluate me) ...said something that I took as extremely negative about my work.

A friend of mine said that I was definitely in panic over nothing because this person couldn't fire me ... So why was I so bothered by the remarks? ... Well, insecurity ... fear ... fear that I'm not going to be allowed to do the work in the way that I do it ... I have make all kinds of adjustments to my job in order to minimize my ADHD ... And generally, people say I'm doing good work ...

Funny: going back for years and years ... I always would hit the panic button in discussions with bosses ... I grew up with this view ... you either please your boss ... or you hate your boss ... it has taken time to try to see there is room between those two poles ...

One thing that helps me is to remember that there are millions of people all over the world who have bosses and supervisors say idiotic and rude things to them, bosses that connive behind their backs ... and these people manage to politely and gently nod and then ignore the boss ... So keeping your cool while a boss talks to you in a rude way ... that can be an honorable choice ... that's not necessarily "kissing up."

Tone
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ToneTone For This Useful Post:
anonymouslyadd (09-05-17), stef (09-03-17)
  #10  
Old 09-03-17, 07:38 AM
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Mod-A-holic
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: nj, usa
Posts: 26,518
Thanks: 5,628
Thanked 30,858 Times in 14,137 Posts
sarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

Can you elaborate on what actually happened that led to this meeting?
__________________
President of the No F's given society.

I carried a watermelon?
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to sarahsweets For This Useful Post:
anonymouslyadd (09-05-17)
  #11  
Old 09-03-17, 07:48 AM
stef's Avatar
stef stef is offline
Zen moderator
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: west of Paris
Posts: 18,188
Thanks: 36,345
Thanked 26,744 Times in 12,993 Posts
stef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymouslyadd View Post
I found out that there are coworkers of mine who went to the president and said that I'm the source of negativity at the office. I was floored. He wouldn't name names. He didn't seem receptive to an explanation or anything.

If something happens again, I'll be gone.
That's very messed up.
You are positive and upbeat, there is just no way you could be a " source of negativity".
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to stef For This Useful Post:
anonymouslyadd (09-05-17), Lunacie (09-04-17)
  #12  
Old 09-04-17, 06:56 AM
acdc01 acdc01 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,848
Thanks: 2,549
Thanked 3,690 Times in 1,880 Posts
acdc01 has disabled reputation
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

It sounds like you did a good job at your meeting anonymouslyadd. Your boss isn't going to fire you so now you have time to find a good job without feeling like you have to rush to the point you have to take a bad one. That was the only goal at this meeting and you accomplished it.

If it makes you feel any better, you aren't alone in this. So many of us do good work and are shocked to hear someone doesn't like us regardless. No doubt some of my coworkers, even ones I think highly of, feel that way about me too as you can probably tell from the thread I posted earlier.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to acdc01 For This Useful Post:
anonymouslyadd (09-05-17), namazu (09-05-17)
  #13  
Old 09-04-17, 07:25 AM
acdc01 acdc01 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,848
Thanks: 2,549
Thanked 3,690 Times in 1,880 Posts
acdc01 has disabled reputation
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

Quote:
Originally Posted by stef View Post
That's very messed up.
You are positive and upbeat, there is just no way you could be a " source of negativity".
"Source of negativity" might just mean speaking up and calling things for what they are,not necessarily "negative".

Companies like yes people who nod their heads, agree with everything, and socialize with others. I've noticed it's the people who never comment about the companies weaknesses who are the ones that climb the highest in my company. Next up are people who spend 90% time complementing the company and then make some suggestions for improvement by mentioning how great the company is but we might be able to be even better by so and so. Not 100% sure this was the reason.

But Multiple people commented so people were sensitive about something. It doesn't matter if they should be sensitive or not, they were and we unfortunately are the ones that need to adjust to their ways if we can. I can't adjust, I can't procrastinate any less than I do cause I've already done all i can to minimize this. But I do believe anonymouslyadd can so he can fortunately keep this from repeating at his new job.

It seems dark now but I can see you doing well in your future position anonymouslyadd. You're good at what you do and now you know better the things you need to be careful about. Like stef said, your personality overall seems very likeable to me so this doesnt have to repeat if you just figure out the things to not do or that you need to do more next time.

It's a shame, nearly always doing well socially at work, getting people to like you, is more important than actually being more productive.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to acdc01 For This Useful Post:
Lunacie (09-04-17), namazu (09-05-17), stef (09-04-17)
  #14  
Old 09-05-17, 01:21 AM
anonymouslyadd's Avatar
anonymouslyadd anonymouslyadd is offline
Moderator of all seasons
 

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: .
Posts: 14,341
Blog Entries: 35
Thanks: 16,589
Thanked 16,219 Times in 8,204 Posts
anonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Can you elaborate on what actually happened that led to this meeting?
I made a direct comment to the pseudo-boss in front of others regarding how I felt about being told I was doing something wrong from two different people. One of the new people on the team forwarded me an email and copied the pseudo-boss, regarding something I needed to do differently. A couple days later, the pseudo-boss sent me the same email and copied the new guy.

Maybe she forgot I was already told about the issue. That's certainly possible.

The president spoke to me afterwards and then spoke to me a day later about it.
__________________
Read three reasons to never share your ADD here.

Last edited by anonymouslyadd; 09-05-17 at 01:46 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to anonymouslyadd For This Useful Post:
namazu (09-05-17)
  #15  
Old 09-05-17, 01:28 AM
anonymouslyadd's Avatar
anonymouslyadd anonymouslyadd is offline
Moderator of all seasons
 

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: .
Posts: 14,341
Blog Entries: 35
Thanks: 16,589
Thanked 16,219 Times in 8,204 Posts
anonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond reputeanonymouslyadd has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How to handle a meeting with the president

Quote:
Originally Posted by stef View Post
That's very messed up.
You are positive and upbeat, there is just no way you could be a " source of negativity".
Get this: I reached out to the guy who hired me a few days ago. He was let go about two months ago. I mentioned to him that I was struggling at the job.

He told me a ton of things that had been happening behind the scenes there. He said the CFO lives in a make believe world where everything is fine and dandy and if you mention anything that opposes that view, you're deemed negative. He also said my pseudo-boss was a tyrant and a butt-kisser, who was in over her head.

I don't know that he really helped me other than give me some insight on how things really worked there. I still need to make this job last until I find better, consistent work.
__________________
Read three reasons to never share your ADD here.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to anonymouslyadd For This Useful Post:
stef (09-05-17)
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
bosses, hierarchy, relationships, work


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Meeting New People slammer21 Depression 4 06-01-14 11:58 AM
ADD Support Group Meeting In New York City addsupport ADD Events 0 01-29-14 10:18 AM
Concerta working? Had IEP meeting, ugh! kristie73 Children's Diagnosis & Treatment 4 01-15-14 01:51 PM
Meeting my ADHD-er's mother - any tips on how a family can best support him? silverfox Non-ADD Partner Support 10 06-17-11 08:12 AM
Initial Meeting with School. Nervous JenE Primary & Secondary Education 4 08-05-09 03:00 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:34 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums