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Old 11-17-18, 10:22 AM
littlesmg88 littlesmg88 is offline
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How to stop mis-using stimulants i am prescribed for 2 conditions

(long post but please read!)
I was diagnosed and prescribed adderall 13 years ago for inattentive ADD. It drastically improved my grades!
Shortly out of highschool I somehow began taking them more than prescribed, the details are fuzzy there as to why etc. but its been 7 or 8 years now of the same montly vicious cycle. I get my script, I take them more often than I am supposed to ( a few times a day because I always feel they wear offf to quick and my genesight tests showed I metabolize them quickly and my docs refused to up my dosage anymore due to me getting older) So I run out after 2 weeks. Spend a week sleeping NON-stop- unable to function, miss work etc. The the other week I'm functional but can't stop binge-eating, then I get a refill and it starts all over again.
I have been on 40mg Strattera for almost 3 months now and when I started the strattera I had to swap it out for my 10mg adderall so I was only left with 50mg vy (I've been on all strenghts). Honestly, since getting the vyvanse last year, I split the capsule as equally as I can in hopes to stretch out my script longer but that doesn't work.
Last dr appt I was allowed to be prescribed 30mg vy to be taken twice a day, I had hoped that this would make my meds last longer once again and I even split most of those but still ran out at the same time! Thats basically 120 capsules of 15mg vyvanse and still couldn't make it last!
It has gotten to the point that even when I try to ration myself and control my dosages- no matter how I do it it doesn't work!
I did get a job that pays well but its 12 hour shifts, I start Monday. But I'm worried if I'll be able to keep this job because of how much medication I'll take just to function at work let alone off work= I predict I'll burn through it in a week as opposed to my normal 2 especially since I am now only on ONE stimulant and the stratterra doesn't seem to help me much ( I know it's not a stimulant but I was still hoping that it would produce stimulant like properties like wakefulness or something).

previous to that, starting last year, I was on both adderall and vyvanse because not only do I have ADD but a sleep test showed I havea circadium rythm disorder with hypersomnia aka daytime sleepiness, so I need a stimulant in my medication regimen not only for ADD but to keep me awake because without them I've literally almost fallen asleep walking around work or driving. Tests are working up to prove a sublayer of narcolepsy but..........
I feel like theres no more options... in the end the only person who can fix this is me- willpower- self control- which I have no idea how to get!

*I should add that when I explained I take them more than prescribed, it is still under what I feel is a safe dosing regimine (a small amount etc. every 4 hours, sometimes 2 hours but no sooner) Because I'm not trying to harm myself I just am trying to keep it active in my system and not let it wear off until I want it to.
I also want to say that I do take them the way I do because I literally cannot function without them. I'm a single mom with a life yanno. & I used to get that "euphoria" in the beginning but I HONESTLY have NOT felt ANY type of euphoria or excitement or high from my medication in LITERALLY 6 years and that was only when I went back on them after giving birth to my child.

I plan on going to an NA meeting next week.... I'm scared of anything else, anything changing because for literally HALF of my life this lifestyle/ habit/ addiction is all I've known!
I am scared of the future because I don't think I'll ever be able to find that middle ground.
Have my cake and eat it too.
I think I'll ultimately have to stop taking meds that work the way I want them too. And that is terrifying because I do not know how to function off them.
I hope I can also get back into therapy soon.
But this new job I got is going to have me on a tight schedule, juggling all this will be HARD.
PLEASE HELP!
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Strattera 40mg as of September 2018 -Vyvanse 50mg for over a year, & klonapin 1mg Previous: adderall ir 10mg & XR (been on both for over a decade)
medications:
Cymbalta 60mg
ADD, Major Depression Disorder, Anxiety, Panic Disorder
Past medications: almost every SSRI
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Old 11-17-18, 03:11 PM
CharlesH CharlesH is online now
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Re: How to stop mis-using stimulants i am prescribed for 2 conditions

Quote:
Originally Posted by littlesmg88 View Post
It has gotten to the point that even when I try to ration myself and control my dosages- no matter how I do it it doesn't work!
Do you have friend/partner/sponsor that can ration it for you? It doesn't seem like the self-control plan is going to work, so perhaps try something different?
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Old 11-17-18, 06:04 PM
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Re: How to stop mis-using stimulants i am prescribed for 2 conditions

If you have reached The Moment of realization and you truly need the medication you take, then you can take them only as prescribed. Yourself.
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Old 11-18-18, 07:22 AM
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Re: How to stop mis-using stimulants i am prescribed for 2 conditions

Quote:
Originally Posted by littlesmg88 View Post
I have been on 40mg Strattera for almost 3 months now and when I started the strattera I had to swap it out for my 10mg adderall so I was only left with 50mg vy (I've been on all strenghts). Honestly, since getting the vyvanse last year, I split the capsule as equally as I can in hopes to stretch out my script longer but that doesn't work.
Just curious as to why you went to stratterra instead of the adderall? Also the way vyanse works, splitting the capsules will not help. Vyvanse begins to work when it reaches the gut so taking them whole is what is recommended.

Quote:
Last dr appt I was allowed to be prescribed 30mg vy to be taken twice a day, I had hoped that this would make my meds last longer once again and I even split most of those but still ran out at the same time! Thats basically 120 capsules of 15mg vyvanse and still couldn't make it last!
It has gotten to the point that even when I try to ration myself and control my dosages- no matter how I do it it doesn't work!
I did get a job that pays well but its 12 hour shifts, I start Monday. But I'm worried if I'll be able to keep this job because of how much medication I'll take just to function at work let alone off work= I predict I'll burn through it in a week as opposed to my normal 2 especially since I am now only on ONE stimulant and the stratterra doesn't seem to help me much ( I know it's not a stimulant but I was still hoping that it would produce stimulant like properties like wakefulness or something).
Again, the splitting is not recommended simply because vyvnase takes digestion to basically "turn into" dexedrine which is the amphetamine.

Quote:
previous to that, starting last year, I was on both adderall and vyvanse because not only do I have ADD but a sleep test showed I havea circadium rythm disorder with hypersomnia aka daytime sleepiness, so I need a stimulant in my medication regimen not only for ADD but to keep me awake because without them I've literally almost fallen asleep walking around work or driving. Tests are working up to prove a sublayer of narcolepsy but
If you have a verified sleep disorder provigil can be very helpful. My husband used to take it for narcolepsy and its not a standard stimulant but it is a wakefulness promoting agent. If you were able to take that and then your vyvanse it might help.

..........
Quote:
I feel like theres no more options... in the end the only person who can fix this is me- willpower- self control- which I have no idea how to get!

*I should add that when I explained I take them more than prescribed, it is still under what I feel is a safe dosing regimine (a small amount etc. every 4 hours, sometimes 2 hours but no sooner) Because I'm not trying to harm myself I just am trying to keep it active in my system and not let it wear off until I want it to.
I also want to say that I do take them the way I do because I literally cannot function without them. I'm a single mom with a life yanno. & I used to get that "euphoria" in the beginning but I HONESTLY have NOT felt ANY type of euphoria or excitement or high from my medication in LITERALLY 6 years and that was only when I went back on them after giving birth to my child.
I really feel for you. As an alcoholic in recovery I am very aware that willpower will not cut it. But is it really and issue of willpower? If you were able to have the medication prescribed for how often you need it would the same thing happen>? Are you saying that no matter what you would take more than prescribed or that because the dose isnt right you do?
Quote:
I plan on going to an NA meeting next week.... I'm scared of anything else, anything changing because for literally HALF of my life this lifestyle/ habit/ addiction is all I've known!
I am scared of the future because I don't think I'll ever be able to find that middle ground.
Have my cake and eat it too.
I think I'll ultimately have to stop taking meds that work the way I want them too. And that is terrifying because I do not know how to function off them.
I hope I can also get back into therapy soon.
But this new job I got is going to have me on a tight schedule, juggling all this will be HARD.
PLEASE HELP!
I go to AA so I am very supportive of people that go to 12 step meetings but its important to know why you are going or it will not work. Are you going because you want to cease all stimulants and stop abusing them? Or are you going to try and learn how to control yourself with them. NA and AA are for people that want to stop and they will not work otherwise. Are you and addict? Its a tough call.
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