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Non-ADD Partner Support This is a support forum for non-ADD partners, spouses, and significant others offering feedback from both the ADD and non-ADD perspectives

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  #16  
Old 10-31-17, 01:59 AM
ToneTone ToneTone is offline
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Re: Dating ADHD Man

Wow, that's what you call "due diligence"--going straight to the ex.

So here is one of my goals ... and I'm gonna throw it out for you as well perhaps ... Next time, trust your own instincts. Really that ex just repeated the same story you had already experienced.

So now you know and can celebrate ... that your radar is pretty good ... That feeling of being ignored ... that was on the money! ... And in the future, if you feel that, you can trust it ... without getting confirmation from someone else.

So your "being ignored" radar is working and in fine shape ... and it did not return a false positive.

Good luck!

Tone
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  #17  
Old 10-31-17, 12:38 PM
SuperP SuperP is offline
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Re: Dating ADHD Man

Thanks ToneTone! I guess I didnt see it that way, but it is a good thing that my Radar is working!! The reason I went to his ex was because my therapist said that this is probably a pattern with this guy..I guess I just wanted confirmation. Also, I have read some posts on here where others have mentioned that sometimes people with ADHD get into a zone (hyperfocus) and dont return texts for days or weeks. Kind of like an out of sight, out of mind thing. So I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Plus when he did resurface, he would tell me all that was going on with his new job and his crazy schedule and having to study and tie up loose ends with his old job...so I did get the impression that he was keeping me in the loop (or maybe on a string?). What was really irksome, though, is that he wouldnt answer any direct questions...Like when I asked "when will I see you." he would respond with a statement about what he was doing...like, "Im helping my roommate move right now"...so frustrating. If he wasnt interested, he could have told me...I had given him many opportunities to let me know. Infact, I asked him straight out, the last time I saw him. and he swore that he missed me and that he wanted to see me...blah blah blah. Thank you to everyone who responded..Ya'll helped me to see the light and to be reassured that this is probably not an ADHD thing but a rude, jerk thing
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  #18  
Old 10-31-17, 12:54 PM
SuperP SuperP is offline
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Re: Dating ADHD Man

Also, since he is not medicated, I thought this was contributing to his lack of memory. When I did see him, he would say things, like "how long has it been since I saw you?" or I would say "i have to pick up groceries" and then he would say "oh, crap, I forgot to get groceries for the week"...in the meantime, he is all consumed by this new diet/exercise regiment that he found and is at the gym 24/7...so, honesty, I was thinking it was his ADHD/hyperfocus or something like that....maybe just wishful thinking..
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