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  #1  
Old 11-05-17, 02:30 PM
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Frustrated 48 year-old

Greetings all,

To be honest, I don't even know where to start.

I've totally wasted most of my life because of my ADHD. I was on meds as an adult for a few years but we lost our health insurance when my wife lost her job with a healthcare company due to her own health issues. Currently I'm the only breadwinner in our house and I'm barely holding it together. My wife has major depression (diagnosed), Borderline Personality Disorder (diagnosed), fibromyalgia (diagnosed), and (we suspect) a thyroid problem. I just got on insurance through my employer for $130/month but cannot afford to insure both of us as it would cost north of $700 a month. I don't make enough money at my current job to be able to afford that kind of premium and also pay for our living expenses (rent, food, utilities, etc.). And of course I make too much money for us to qualify for any state or federal assistance, which is probably a moot point what with the current administration trying to dismantle the Affordable Care health insurance system anyway.

I haven't been on medication for the past two years because until recently I couldn't get any insurance that I could afford for myself. A few years ago I tried to start and build a business of my own and failed miserably, and now owe the IRS and state a bunch of money in back taxes that we have no means to pay. That's causing HUGE pressure for us. This past summer we filed bankruptcy so we have no consumer debt. We have one car, a 15 year-old Toyota Camry (paid off).

It's all I can do to maintain my focus enough to do a good job at my work 5 days a week. When I get home I don't have any mental energy left for anything else except veggie time. I self medicate with alcohol, usually a combo of scotch/bourbon and/or beer. I may be an alcoholic, but not sure. I could be a circumstantial abuser. How does one tell if they are a true alcoholic and not just an over-user (as I understand people with ADHD often are)?

I have so many questions, so many fears, and so many regrets. I have so much to try and fix, and I'm close to 50 years old and don't know if I have the time left to fix things and make life better for my wife and I.

I want to try and rebuild my life/our lives but I'm struggling with where to start.

Anyway, thanks for reading this.
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Old 11-05-17, 02:39 PM
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Re: Frustrated 48 year-old

That sounds like a lot to deal with/worry about

Welcome to the forum and I hope it helps you
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Old 11-05-17, 02:55 PM
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Re: Frustrated 48 year-old

WELCOME!!!

You are dealing with a lot. This is a great place!

I was able to get free Concerta through the Johnson & Johnson Patient Assistance Program when I was low income. I'm sure that all of the big pharmas have them you will have to to do some digging to find them all. Your wife may be able to get some of her meds too.

Also, there are quick self-screenings to assess alcohol use. Google CAGE quiz and AUDIT quiz.

Good luck!!
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Old 11-05-17, 04:51 PM
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Re: Frustrated 48 year-old

Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post

It's all I can do to maintain my focus enough to do a good job at my work 5 days a week. When I get home I don't have any mental energy left for anything else except veggie time. I self medicate with alcohol, usually a combo of scotch/bourbon and/or beer. I may be an alcoholic, but not sure. I could be a circumstantial abuser. How does one tell if they are a true alcoholic and not just an over-user (as I understand people with ADHD often are)?
I am an alcoholic in recovery. Forget the checklists for now. IME when someone has to think about whether they are an alcoholic then the are usually on their way. Normal people who drink normally do not have to think about those things. What are the negatives about your drinkng? Have you experienced any kind of consequences? The DSM also has other disorders like substance use disorder and binge drinking disorder. Do you drink to get drunk? The best way to see if you have an alcohol problem is to try not to drink for a day or two and see how that goes. Can you not drink for a few days?
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Old 11-05-17, 07:02 PM
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Re: Frustrated 48 year-old

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
The best way to see if you have an alcohol problem is to try not to drink for a day or two and see how that goes. Can you not drink for a few days?
Good question. I've at different times (though not recently) abstained totally from alcohol for a month or more because I was following a workout and diet regimen. And even in the last few months, there were a couple of times when I've gotten tired of using alcohol and have abstained for a few weeks at a time. It's just that when I have it available at home, and I want to "slow down" my mind, I tend to go overboard with it. I was the same with candy and sweets as a kid. I'm not so much into sweets anymore as a middle age(ish) guy.

I guess the real answer is to just stop having alcohol available. Funny thing is, when I'm dining out or visiting somebody's home, I can easily control my drinking. Never been an issue.
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