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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #31  
Old 11-10-17, 12:02 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

So then he asked me if I have nice hips/thighs and I just started crying. Then I told him off. I didn't even see that coming, but maybe I should have. You guys were right. I'm so f*****g done! And I barely even started. I'm giving up on men all together. I'm just going to get some cats. Why did I do this to myself, I'm so stupid! I'm really worth nothing to anyone.
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  #32  
Old 11-10-17, 12:03 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

I'm deleting my account, too, I'm too sensitive for this.
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  #33  
Old 11-10-17, 12:05 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

maybe take a step back and sleep on it?

i get the impulse to eradicate all traces of what turned out to be a bad experience... though i would suggest this INDIVIDUAL turned out to suck... and maybe not all will...?

sorry you had to endure that. xx
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  #34  
Old 11-10-17, 12:11 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

But I shouldn't be reacting this badly over someone I only talked to for a couple days! I know not everyone's a jerk, but apparently I attract only those who are. I just can't deal with it. It affects me too much, I feel too much.
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  #35  
Old 11-10-17, 12:12 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

I don't know, I blocked him, didn't delete my account yet. But I just feel so dirty.
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  #36  
Old 11-10-17, 12:13 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

isn't this pretty much your first time putting yourself out there, though? i can appreciate why you'd react so vehemently.

it's ok to have a strong reaction. it's ok to delete your account, too. i'm just throwing it out there that you might want to give yourself some distance before taking action. : )
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  #37  
Old 11-10-17, 12:22 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

I know. I even just talked to my friend who met her boyfriend on the same site, asking her for tips. She met this great guy and they're still happily together. I just don't have that kind of luck, I've never been lucky. Maybe I will keep the account, but each time this happens, I'm going to be 10x more messed up afterwards.
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  #38  
Old 11-10-17, 12:30 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

I don't need this drama. I'm supposed to be doing my schoolwork and I'm just sitting here being a crybaby. I really hate myself sometimes.

Let this be a lesson to people not to ignore the first red flag.
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  #39  
Old 11-10-17, 12:31 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

are you seeing a therapist regularly? i think the fact that you describe how you feel as "dirty" is something to explore more...maybe?
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  #40  
Old 11-10-17, 12:31 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

what're you studying in school?

i used to be a professor (philosophy)
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  #41  
Old 11-10-17, 12:34 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

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are you seeing a therapist regularly? i think the fact that you describe how you feel as "dirty" is something to explore more...maybe?
Well yeah, I feel dirty because he asked such a degrading question out of nowhere. I mean, that's just not something you ask, especially to women, we are already self conscious enough about our bodies. And then he asks me that, after he says he wants to know me and he's looking for a deep connection? I just feel like I'm worth nothing.
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  #42  
Old 11-10-17, 12:39 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

And he had such an innocent sounding username, too. Singledaddyof4. Maybe I should have went with bigDaddy or bigPoppa.
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  #43  
Old 11-10-17, 01:36 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

So I read through the whole thread and realized it went really badly for you and maybe this post seems very insensitive. I'm going to leave it here anyway just disregard if you want, some of it is probably inaccurate, some of it may be accurate.

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Originally Posted by WhiteOwl View Post
Thank you, I'm glad I asked. *Sigh* Maybe I should go back to plan A, just not look for anyone. He's the only person I've wanted to talk to on there and if it turns out to just be a scam, I don't think I can take more pain. I think I just don't understand guys, either.
Don't look for "high quality guys" who have all those fancy stats. It's funny how the one thing you said you would not do, how you said before "how can folks be so shallow" appears to almost be in line with what you are doing, unless I judge too quickly. (It's a real possibility, I may be off here, admittedly)

But some guy who says he makes a lot of money and travels a lot and this and that. That's exactly the same thing I said was wrong about these sites to begin with. You have one guy out of 100 or so who's like this and that's the same kind of guy hoarding all the attention from others.

It may also be possible these "high quality guys" are also high quality charades and cons and have no guilt whatsoever about it. "More is better" for them, damn the niggling details of money, business, traveling around as an important person.

I suggested before you look at the more modest guys, not saying they are all going to be just as nice as they look (some are, some aren't) but these guys are definitely not looking for another mistress or three on the side. That's the paradigm that ruins online dating for everyone. And most of these modest guys are probably not making up too much stuff or lying egregiously, they actually have a sense of guilt.

Oh and before I forget, that "algae at the bottom of the pool" these are the jerks who want another mistress to complement the marriage they're hiding from you, that's algae to me. Hopefully it is not implied that "algae" equates to underachievers or men who have actual struggles in life, just like many guys here, and would like some chance nonetheless.
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  #44  
Old 11-10-17, 01:45 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

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Originally Posted by Batman55 View Post
Don't look for "high quality guys" who have all those fancy stats. It's funny how the one thing you said you would not do, how you said before "how can folks be so shallow" appears to almost be in line with what you are doing, unless I judge too quickly. (It's a real possibility, I may be off here, admittedly)

But some guy who says he makes a lot of money and travels a lot and this and that. That's exactly the same thing I said was wrong about these sites to begin with. You have one guy out of 100 or so who's like this and that's the same kind of guy hoarding all the attention from others.

It may also be possible these "high quality guys" are also high quality charades and cons and have no guilt whatsoever about it. "More is better" for them, damn the niggling details of money, business, traveling around as an important person.

I suggested before you look at the more modest guys, not saying they are all going to be just as nice as they look (some are, some aren't) but these guys are definitely not looking for another mistress or three on the side. That's the paradigm that ruins online dating for everyone. And these modest guys are probably not making up too much stuff or lying egregiously, they actually have a sense of guilt.
He messaged me, I looked at his profile and saw that he has some of the same interests as I do and seems to enjoy spending time with his kids. I thought he looked like a decent person. THAT is why I messaged him back. I had no clue how much money he makes until AFTER I messaged him back and we started talking. And then I got mad that he seemed like he was showing off and THAT was red flag #1 and I should have heeded it.

I wasn't looking for anything fancy or high quality, just someone who wanted to know me. He did look like a modest down to earth person in his pics. While I thought he was good looking, I don't even think he would be described as "handsome" by most women and probably doesn't get a ton of attention.

So, basically I was trying to do what you said and it backfired big time.
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  #45  
Old 11-10-17, 01:51 AM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

I guess that's the one thing women can get out of this thread. You can't even trust the innocent looking ones and don't ignore your gut feeling.
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