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Old 11-17-17, 11:04 PM
Jxps94 Jxps94 is offline
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Too anxious to seek for help/feeling stupid

Hello!
So, I am 23 years old and I'm really beginning to think that I may have lived with untreated ADD my whole life as I have, without exaggeration, most of the symptoms minus hyperactivity. I honestly wasn't really aware of what AD(H)D was until recently when I was told to look into it on a study help forum and I just couldn't believe my eyes when I read what it was because I could totally relate to most everything and I finally thought for once in my life that maybe I wasn't just so lazy and too unmotivated to do anything after all.

Now I'm not really here to list all my symptoms and ask you guys if I do have ADD but it turns out that I also suffer from severe crippling social anxiety, so much that last month when I had problems with my cell phone and had to call my ISP I wrote in a notepad what I was gonna say to whoever was going to answer my call and practiced it out loud for 30 minutes, including the part where I was greeting him. I am just extremely scared of social interactions, It's the reason why I've never finished getting my driver's license or why It took me 2 years to renew my health card, and now I desperately wanna seek help to find out if I do really have ADD but I am too anxious to go the clinic because I for some reason feel really stupid going in there and asking for mental health help, I know It's not but I just can't convince myself, I'm just afraid of not being taken seriously. I am trying to go back to school and I really feel like my future could depend on that diagnosis but with no support and nobody to push me I just can't make any progress towards anything. Just realized I haven't really asked any question, I'm honestly just desperate for help and I don't know what to do anymore, I've asked for help on anxiety support groups but nothing really works and I honestly feel like my anxiety could have something to do with me possibly having ADD. Thoughts? Any advice is greatly appreciated, as stupid as this may sound, I know.
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Old 11-17-17, 11:09 PM
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Re: Too anxious to seek for help/feeling stupid

Welcome to ADDF!

I struggle with phones, too, and often write out what I want to say to help avoid getting flustered. That may be more an anxiety thing than an ADHD thing, but I think it's related to poor working memory and a tendency to forget what I wanted to say and stumble over getting the words in the right order.

Regardless of whether or not you have ADHD, based on what you described, it sounds very much worth it to seek help from the clinic. There's no shame in seeking help for mental health issues; it actually takes a certain amount of self-awareness and maturity to do so.

Many of us have been through the process of evaluation / diagnosis. Let us know how we can help you take whatever steps you need to seek help.

Take care!
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Old 11-18-17, 01:14 AM
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Re: Too anxious to seek for help/feeling stupid

I also have anxiety and it used to be crippling, but has improved some over the years. It still hinders me in many areas, though. I also struggle with phone calls and avoid them for as long as I can. It took me a few years after I realized I had ADD and anxiety, to finally go in and get evaluated. I finally got to the point where I couldn't go on like I was, anymore. Like you, I didn't think I would be taken seriously. But I was, and I've now started medication and see some improvement already.

Don't feel stupid, they won't see you that way. On my first visit, the therapist told me she was impressed I had made it into the clinic in the first place, and she was very encouraging. It's difficult to take that first step, but it gets a little easier after that. This is a great place for support to help you along the way, so don't hesitate to share any questions or concerns.
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Old 11-18-17, 04:28 AM
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Re: Too anxious to seek for help/feeling stupid

Welcome to the forus

There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about getting a diagnosis or seeking help.
Its such a huge relief, to be sitting across from a professional, who listens and validates your feelings

I can relate to much of what you wrote although it was not so severe for me so i can only imagine how difficult things may be right now.

I just got diagnosed this fall and im almost 50.
I don't know if its the case for everyone but i had no idea how much just the adhd itself ,,was causing anxiety, until actually on meds,and without that constant baseline anxiety it is so much easier, to see and understand other issues.

I know its hard but i hope you make an appointment, break it down into chunks like one day " look up info on the clinic " the next day " write down the phone number", etc.

You're only 23 you can have an easier life! Its hard to imagine now, but you can.
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Old 11-18-17, 01:49 PM
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Re: Too anxious to seek for help/feeling stupid

Thanks for the support guys.

I live right next to a busy boulevard and there is actually a walk-in medical clinic not too far away from where I live, the thing is that I am just awfully scared of going in and having to explain to the lady at the desk why I would like to consult with all the patients that are going to sitting nearby in the waiting room. I know this might sound absurd to those who don't experience such anxiety but It's really little silly things like that that are part of the reason why I am not where I should be in my life right now. Every time I get to overcome my anxiety and actually make a step in the right direction It's never for long, I am sick and tired of my current job and I've been trying to go back to school to do a simple course but in order to be accepted into it I have to pass 6 tests, I purchased the books online and signed up to a few things but It's been a couple months and I've only been able to finish a single book, which I've already all forgotten, It's just impossible for me to concentrate on any of it despite knowing it's importance. I'm an avid walker, I walk between 80 and 100 kilometers a week when the weather allows it and when I do I tend to think a lot and really get motivated about actually doing things and bettering my life but it all fades off the next day, as a matter of fact the only time I've managed to finish a school book this year was after a walk.

It's been that way all my life, I don't think there has been a single grade in my entire life that went well, my teachers would always call my parents near the end of every year and tell them that if my grades didn't improve they'd have to fail me and then my dad would always promise to buy something I really wanted if I didn't fail and then all my grades would just instantly skyrocket. There are a lot of other things which makes me think I have more than anxiety and that could be explained by ADD, my parents are awful listeners and I can't tell you how many times I've been called a coward by them, just last week I talked to my mom and asked her information about going to the medical clinic for anxiety and her answer was "YOU got anxiety?" and then she just went on talking about something else and she just totally ignored my question. I am really on my own for all of this, no family willing to listen and I've got no friends where I'm at(no friends as in 0 friends, really), and if I do really have ADD like I truly believe I do then I've got to fight two disorders that are both keeping me from being able to seek help.

I just feel stuck, not depressed, just stuck, tired and helpless. I would also like to apologize for my English, I know it isn't awful but my first language is French, I hope most of what I've written makes sense, sometimes It feels like it does to me but in reality it doesn't always do!
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