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Old 10-30-17, 08:12 AM
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back and fourth decision making

So I've had a problem arise within the last 5 years of my life. I will have a hobby and buy something relatively expensive for the hobby. Ill do so much research that I start developing pros and cons of the thing I bought, I then return it or sell it to get something I think is better. I continue this process until I loose hundreds of dollars (sometimes more) and a lot of wasted time and mental effort. At this point I have buyers remorse and I beat my self up and loose sleep, The hobby stimulates my brain so much that I end up loosing interest in it and the money.

I was diagnosed with ring of fire add (they did brain scans and all) which they say can cause over compulsive behaviors. I love my hobbies but this issue trends with all my hobbies and has lost me a lot of money. I cant seem to help the urge to get the best thing possible because my brain says I won't be happy with a poorly rated or developed product. I want to stop this behavior and I tell my self Ill never do it again and boom the next week I do it again.
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Old 10-30-17, 08:15 AM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

Yes, this happens to me as well. I get deep into a hobby, start splashing the cash on it, then start having my doubts about the hobby and then it's onto the next one. But at least you return/sell your stuff, my stuff just kind of piles up around the house.
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Old 10-30-17, 08:46 AM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

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Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
Yes, this happens to me as well. I get deep into a hobby, start splashing the cash on it, then start having my doubts about the hobby and then it's onto the next one. But at least you return/sell your stuff, my stuff just kind of piles up around the house.
The problem is I sell for a lot less then I bought, a lot of my hobbies have a no return policy so I'm usually stuck selling for WAY less then I bought it for
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Old 10-30-17, 09:42 AM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

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The problem is I sell for a lot less then I bought, a lot of my hobbies have a no return policy so I'm usually stuck selling for WAY less then I bought it for
Where do you sell your stuff?
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Old 10-30-17, 09:49 AM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

i've not really been able to consistently stick to a hobby. i can dabble, but i haven't found things that really stick. it's part of creating routines/habits that even my psychiatrist said is very difficult for someone with adhd.

i know you think you won't be satisfied with anything but top of the line, but that's where i would try to make the shift. maybe set as a goal that after sticking with it x amount of time, you'll be able to invest in y item. and then rework goal once reached. ??
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Old 10-30-17, 12:43 PM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

I have a similar problem. However, you say you love your hobbies, so if you enjoy it while you're doing it and have the money to spend on it, is it really that much of a problem? If you're going into debt, then it definitely is a problem, but a lot of people invest a lot in their hobbies. Even if it's short lived, you enjoy it while it lasts, right?

I am the same way about putting a lot of research and thought into the things I buy, and trying to buy the best. I think that's smart. If I'm going to spend money on something, I want it to work, I want it to be high quality, and I want it to last. I read tons of reviews and make tons of comparisons before I buy anything. This really sucks at Christmas time because I do the same thing with presents for my kids, but at least I'm usually happy with the quality of the things I get.

Unlike you, I rarely ever return or sell anything, even if I decide I don't want it anymore. I'm lazy and that's too much work for me. At least you get SOME of your money back!

Last edited by WhiteOwl; 10-30-17 at 12:57 PM..
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Old 10-30-17, 01:04 PM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

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Originally Posted by WhiteOwl View Post
I have a similar problem. However, you say you love your hobbies, so if you enjoy it while you're doing it and have the money to spend on it, is it really that much of a problem? If you're going into debt, then it definitely is a problem, but a lot of people invest a lot in their hobbies. Even if it's short lived, you enjoy it while it lasts, right?

I am the same way about putting a lot of research and thought into the things I buy, and trying to buy the best. I think that's smart. If I'm going to spend money on something, I want it to work, I want it to be high quality, and I want it to last. I read tons of reviews and make tons of comparisons before I buy anything. This really sucks at Christmas time because I do the same thing with presents for my kids, but at least I'm usually happy with the quality of the things I get.

Unlike you, I rarely ever return or sell anything, even if I decide I don't want it anymore. I'm lazy and that's too much work for me. At least you get SOME of your money back!
Ive stuck with this hobby for a long time (fishing) and it's very therapeutic for me but I bought a fishing kayak, thought another one was better so I sold the first one and got the "better" one, I hated it and ended back with the first one, I lost 700 bucks on that mistake. It's very frustrating and my wife believes my vast research is the cause of me loosing money.
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Old 10-30-17, 01:39 PM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

My hobby is buying books. I'm sure that I'm one of Amazon's favorite customers! So, if I get interested in a new topic, I buy all the books about it that I can find which sometimes might cost me a couple of hundred dollars. If I buy a book that is part of a series, I have to buy all the others in the series, too. Never mind that I often start to lose interest in this topic and have moved on to another new obsession long before I've read all the books I just bought about the old obsession.
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Old 10-30-17, 01:59 PM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

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I cant seem to help the urge to get the best thing possible because my brain says I won't be happy with a poorly rated or developed product.
I have an old HP LaserJet 5M printer which I've had for 21 years (since 1996) and it still works, but I just couldn't get it to interface anymore with my new HP desktop which runs on Windows 10. I spent a few weeks reading reviews online about printers and stopped at Office Depot and Staples to look at printers to see what they looked like. I decided to go with another HP again and just bought myself a new HP LaserJet color printer/copier/scanner/fax from Amazon. If I actually had a small business, it would have made sense to buy this printer, but it's probably way more printer than I really need. It's definitely a nice machine, though!
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Old 10-30-17, 03:18 PM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

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Originally Posted by PoppnNSailinMan View Post
My hobby is buying books. I'm sure that I'm one of Amazon's favorite customers! So, if I get interested in a new topic, I buy all the books about it that I can find which sometimes might cost me a couple of hundred dollars. If I buy a book that is part of a series, I have to buy all the others in the series, too. Never mind that I often start to lose interest in this topic and have moved on to another new obsession long before I've read all the books I just bought about the old obsession.
Seems similar to what I do, I will pick up a hobby and master it in a short period of time I will live eat and breathe the hobby, then one day wake up and not want anything to do with it and move on to the next. Sometimes the hobbys come around again, it's a vicious cycle that I don't know how to control. Fishing has been a strong going hobby for a couple years now but the forum topic is what seems to be frustrating with this hobby.
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Old 10-30-17, 03:19 PM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

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Where do you sell your stuff?
Craig's list or eBay. Whichever one sells it the fastest
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Old 10-30-17, 06:05 PM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

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Ive stuck with this hobby for a long time (fishing) and it's very therapeutic for me but I bought a fishing kayak, thought another one was better so I sold the first one and got the "better" one, I hated it and ended back with the first one, I lost 700 bucks on that mistake. It's very frustrating and my wife believes my vast research is the cause of me loosing money.
Yes, that is a problem. I do that with much less expensive things, usually when I go against my gut and get the lower quality option. Did the kayak you bought have something you didn't like about it or was it missing a feature you wanted? Or were you continuing to research just for the heck of it? If you research and compare before you buy it, I don't see why you would need to return it for something better.
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Old 10-30-17, 06:15 PM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

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Craig's list or eBay. Whichever one sells it the fastest
I was going to start a buy/sell business on ebay a couple of years ago.... it very quickly turned into a buy-only business.

I realized that I couldn't really be bothered figuring out how to best package complex things or figure out who the best/cheapest couriers were.

Ultimately all the money that I squander on ebay will inevitably end up in the skip.
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Old 10-30-17, 06:35 PM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

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Yes, that is a problem. I do that with much less expensive things, usually when I go against my gut and get the lower quality option. Did the kayak you bought have something you didn't like about it or was it missing a feature you wanted? Or were you continuing to research just for the heck of it? If you research and compare before you buy it, I don't see why you would need to return it for something better.
So I liked the initial one a lot but there were a few problems with it that frustrated me a lot, so in turn I started to not like it but then when I bought the other one I realized I made a big mistake and wanted the original one back. This is the first time the money was to this extent. Mainly the most would be around 100 bucks. I really want to find a solution to such compulsive behavior. I'm financially stable and do well for my family but this time really got to me. For the first time in a long time I was really beating myself up mentally about the decision and ruminating about the situation.
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Old 10-30-17, 06:49 PM
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Re: back and fourth decision making

I'm no fun. I live by the need or want.

Big difference between need or want.

Right now I want some insanely expensive speakers.


I do not need them though.
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