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  #1  
Old 11-12-17, 11:00 AM
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referring to people as "crazy"

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side conversation/thread split from this main thread: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=188823



I think that in general, people who are just awkward are not really capable of this type of behavior. They are usually extremely sensitive to rejection, so subjecting themselves to continuous rejection from the same person is not something they would want to endure. I think they are more likely to withdraw more and more, not chase after someone. They are also often very blunt and honest, not manipulative.

That's not to say that some stalkers aren't awkward, but it's my unexpert opinion that there is probably more to it than just awkwardness. I think they have severe mental illness that has been present all their life and is not just the result of rejection. And if they have endured repeated rejection, it's probably not the rejection that made them crazy, but the craziness that guaranteed them rejection.

Last edited by peripatetic; 11-14-17 at 09:51 AM..
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Old 11-12-17, 01:51 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

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That's not to say that some stalkers aren't awkward, but it's my unexpert opinion that there is probably more to it than just awkwardness. I think they have severe mental illness that has been present all their life and is not just the result of rejection. And if they have endured repeated rejection, it's probably not the rejection that made them crazy, but the craziness that guaranteed them rejection.
Mental illness - severe or otherwise - has literally nothing to do with stalking. What makes people into stalkers is a sense of entitlement, a belief that they deserve access to someone despite that someone not wanting anything to do with them. That's not mental illness.

This is a support forum with a lot of mentally ill members (ADHD is frequently associated with co-morbid mental health issues) and basically saying "mental illness makes you into a bad person" is not very supportive.
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Old 11-12-17, 01:57 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

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Mental illness - severe or otherwise - has literally nothing to do with stalking. What makes people into stalkers is a sense of entitlement, a belief that they deserve access to someone despite that someone not wanting anything to do with them. That's not mental illness.

This is a support forum with a lot of mentally ill members (ADHD is frequently associated with co-morbid mental health issues) and basically saying "mental illness makes you into a bad person" is not very supportive.
You don't believe that psychopathy is a mental illness? The definition of psychopathy includes egotism and the things you mentioned.
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Old 11-12-17, 01:59 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

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You don't believe that psychopathy is a mental illness? The definition of psychopathy includes egotism and the things you mentioned.
I think psychopathy is a neurological issue. As in, a psychopath's brain actually develops differently.

Also, most stalkers aren't psychopaths.
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Old 11-12-17, 02:04 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

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I think psychopathy is a neurological issue. As in, a psychopath's brain actually develops differently.

Also, most stalkers aren't psychopaths.
ADHD and comorbid disorders are also neurological issues with different brain development.
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Old 11-12-17, 02:05 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

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ADHD and comorbid disorders are also neurological issues with different brain development.
ADHD is a neurological issue. Many comorbid disorders are mental illnesses, such as depression and anxiety.
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Old 11-12-17, 02:09 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

Maybe they're not all psychopaths, but I believe they probably have some type of personality disorder. Unless you have proof somewhere that stalkers are just as mentally healthy as the happy, loving, empathetic, honest family guy?
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Old 11-12-17, 02:12 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

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Originally Posted by WhiteOwl View Post
Maybe they're not all psychopaths, but I believe they probably have some type of personality disorder. Unless you have proof somewhere that stalkers are just as mentally healthy as the happy, loving, empathetic, honest family guy?
Of course. The best thing to do is not just take advantage of the stigma mental illness carries, but to increase it. I'm done here. Have a nice life.

It sucks that you're being stalked, and I'm sorry that's happening, but the answer isn't to turn around and attack an entire category of people.
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Old 11-12-17, 02:16 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

Adios.
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Old 11-12-17, 02:21 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteOwl View Post
That's not to say that some stalkers aren't awkward, but it's my unexpert opinion that there is probably more to it than just awkwardness. I think they have severe mental illness that has been present all their life and is not just the result of rejection. And if they have endured repeated rejection, it's probably not the rejection that made them crazy, but the craziness that guaranteed them rejection.
The use of the word crazy in regards to mental illness is generally considered offensive.

And for what it is worth, this is a support forum.


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Old 11-12-17, 02:32 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

I'm aware this is a support forum, which is why I came here. Not to be attacked in my thread by a person who has never once talked to me, but decided to come out of the woodwork and argue over semantics.

I would think people would know me a little better than to think I would place them on the same level as a stalker. If anyone thought I was implying that they were the stalker type or capable of doing something like that, then they took the wrong thing from what I was saying. There's a wide range on the mental illness spectrum. I haven't heard anything from anyone on here that places them in the same category as a guy who spends his time harassing women online. But to ignore the obvious fact that he has mental health issues, is just silly. And if you haven't noticed, I call myself crazy, so it didn't even occur to me that people would be offended by that word. I will try to leave it out of my vocabulary on here.
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Old 11-12-17, 03:32 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

BTW, a simple google search reveals studies that show a connection between stalking and mental illness.
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Old 11-12-17, 04:24 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

I would generally agree that people who stalk are probably not the most empathetic or stable people and it can be difficult to find the precise word to describe such a person in the heat of the moment. I only recently learned how offensive the word "crazy" is to some people as well and it took me by surprise too, because it seems so commonplace that I had never given it a second thought. The reason I hadn't given it a second thought was of course because I have never maliciously been labeled "crazy" and have had the privilege of not encountering such stigma over my challenges with mental health.

I know I'm new here and I really don't intend to ruffle any feathers, but I also think it's important that we approach people who innocently use an offensive word with compassion and empathy. It's particularly easy to feel personally attacked when you had no ill intent and are currently going through a rough patch and venting. Of course, I also know teaching isn't the job of the underprivileged and patience can run thin when it feels your words are never heard by the masses.

I'm wondering whether it would be possible to have a sticky by a moderator or administrator on this subject somewhere on the forums? One which would explain why the word is offensive to some and what alternatives could be used, which could be linked to when this word inevitably comes up again elsewhere. I think I saw one already for the r-word somewhere, perhaps that one could be amended?

Finally, (sorry for keeping this thread going off-topic) I would like to leave these alternatives to the word, which I got from Queerie Bradshaw:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Queerie Bradshaw
10 Go-To Words to Use Instead...
  1. Absurd
  2. Ridiculous
  3. Odd
  4. Silly
  5. Ludicrous
  6. Illogical
  7. Tedious
  8. Dull
  9. Grotesque
  10. Laughable
Not only do I feel like I’m not degrading someone’s experience or abilities by using these words, I also feel like I’m making better use of the complex English language, instead of just relying on easy slang.
I feel that just saying someone shouldn't use a word and not offering any alternative is going to make it more difficult to acclimatize to the change. Although in this case perhaps "deviant" or "miscreant" would be more fitting than anything on that list.

OK, so trying to get back on topic after this little digression. WhiteOwl, did you decide whether you're going to stay on that dating site after everything you had to deal with there?
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Old 11-12-17, 04:51 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

I love the word miscreant.


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Old 11-12-17, 05:06 PM
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Re: I'm so triggered by everything

Quote:
Originally Posted by OyVeyKitty View Post
I would generally agree that people who stalk are probably not the most empathetic or stable people and it can be difficult to find the precise word to describe such a person in the heat of the moment. I only recently learned how offensive the word "crazy" is to some people as well and it took me by surprise too, because it seems so commonplace that I had never given it a second thought. The reason I hadn't given it a second thought was of course because I have never maliciously been labeled "crazy" and have had the privilege of not encountering such stigma over my challenges with mental health.

I know I'm new here and I really don't intend to ruffle any feathers, but I also think it's important that we approach people who innocently use an offensive word with compassion and empathy. It's particularly easy to feel personally attacked when you had no ill intent and are currently going through a rough patch and venting. Of course, I also know teaching isn't the job of the underprivileged and patience can run thin when it feels your words are never heard by the masses.

I'm wondering whether it would be possible to have a sticky by a moderator or administrator on this subject somewhere on the forums? One which would explain why the word is offensive to some and what alternatives could be used, which could be linked to when this word inevitably comes up again elsewhere. I think I saw one already for the r-word somewhere, perhaps that one could be amended?

Finally, (sorry for keeping this thread going off-topic) I would like to leave these alternatives to the word. I feel that just saying someone shouldn't use a word and not offering any alternative is going to make it more difficult to acclimatize to the change. Although in this case perhaps "deviant" or "miscreant" would be more fitting than anything on that list.

OK, so trying to get back on topic after this little digression. WhiteOwl, did you decide whether you're going to stay on that dating site after everything you had to deal with there?
Thank you! Yes, I tend to use that word very loosely, as a catch all for just about anything. One minute I'll use it to describe myself and my anxiety, and the next minute I'll use it for someone acting irrational or whatever. I think people in general use the term very often, like you said, so it's not a big deal to me. Now I know others see it a different way.

I'm considering deleting my account. I don't know what to do. I've exchanged a few messages with someone, but it's just so confusing. He's definitely better to talk to than that miscreant, but his messages are just so short! I hear guys are not very talkative in general, but....Do no guys out there like to talk? I take that as a lack of interest, but he has responded to my messages so.......I just don't have time to play around, so I don't know what I'll do. I think this one's going nowhere, too.
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