Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

[Fraser_0762]

When women say "say something interesting" on a dating site, what exactly do they mean?

I know women generally don't like "Hi, how are you doing", as they probably get a huge load of these messages.

So what exactly are they looking for?

I try to see whats written on their profile and I generally make a comment about something i've read. But my response success rate doesn't seem to be all that good, although very slightly better than simply saying "Hi".

It's frustrating because I feel like I just come across as completely disinteresting, no matter how hard I try. Perhaps i'm trying too hard and i'm over thinking what I should say. But if I don't take the time to think about what to say, then "Hi" is the best I can come up with.

[Emre22]

I guess they don't know even what they are talking about.
I think they only write it in their profile because it looks cool.

How can you say someone that you havent met even something interesting

[Fraser_0762]

Well that's my thinking as well. So when I do try to say something "interesting". It just comes across as "random" because it's not really based on much information about that person. Which of course equates to being ignored. Just like saying "hi".

[Emre22]

Originally Posted by Fraser_0762

Well that's my thinking as well. So when I do try to say something "interesting". It just comes across as "random" because it's not really based on much information about that person. Which of course equates to being ignored. Just like saying "hi".

I think ask that person , " what would interest you , i dont know you yet"
it would interest her maybe

[Fraser_0762]

Hmm, i'm not sure. There seems to be a general expectation that the man knows what she wants without him even needing to ask.

[midnightstar]

"something interesting" is a matter of opinion. For example some women like flowers and want to talk about gardening, others might think gardening is as boring as watching paint dry.

[midnightstar]

One important thing to remember though is be honest.

true story: one dating site i got chatting with someone and we were getting on well and he said to me something along the lines of "i saw my cat having kittens last night" and sent me a picture of a couple of 8 week old kittens so i queried it with him telling him newborn kittens dont look like that and he responded changing his story to "my dad said my cat gave birth last night" and basically he kept changing what he was telling me, not just about the kittens but everything. Even to the point of going from living with others his own age to living with his parents, even his cat ended up changing gender.

[Fraser_0762]

Originally Posted by midnightstar

"something interesting" is a matter of opinion. For example some women like flowers and want to talk about gardening, others might think gardening is as boring as watching paint dry.

That's me! So I won't be talking about that.

[midnightstar]

I mean, personally one little white lie i can overlook but when you cant even keep your story straight that to me is concerning (i am talking generally, not saying you personally lie Fraser because i think you are honest)

[Fraser_0762]

Originally Posted by midnightstar

One important thing to remember though is be honest.

true story: one dating site i got chatting with someone and we were getting on well and he said to me something along the lines of "i saw my cat having kittens last night" and sent me a picture of a couple of 8 week old kittens so i queried it with him telling him newborn kittens dont look like that and he responded changing his story to "my dad said my cat gave birth last night" and basically he kept changing what he was telling me, not just about the kittens but everything. Even to the point of going from living with others his own age to living with his parents, even his cat ended up changing gender.

I'm never that desperate to impress. If someone is interested in something i'm not, i'll simply tell them i'm not interested.

[Fraser_0762]

Originally Posted by midnightstar

I mean, personally one little white lie i can overlook but when you cant even keep your story straight that to me is concerning (i am talking generally, not saying you personally lie Fraser because i think you are honest)

(Yes! All my lies to woo you are working, mwahahaha!)

[WhiteOwl]

I'm really starting to wonder about the women where you live. I've already said it before, but I look for the messages where someone talks about something in my profile. If you've done that and they don't like it, I have no clue what they're looking for, but I have the feeling they will be looking for a long time and never find it. In a sea full of "Hi, how are you" messages, someone actually talking to me like a normal human being who has something to say, really stands out and impresses me.

My favorite message has a combination of something from my profile, pointing out something we have in common, a question or two about one of my interests, and a comment that they would like to talk to me and get to know me better. I really don't see how you can go wrong with a message like that, unless you're sending it to the wrong person, in which case you should just move along to someone who appreciates it.

[Fraser_0762]

Originally Posted by WhiteOwl

I'm really starting to wonder about the women where you live. I've already said it before, but I look for the messages where someone talks about something in my profile. If you've done that and they don't like it, I have no clue what they're looking for, but I have the feeling they will be looking for a long time and never find it. In a sea full of "Hi, how are you" messages, someone actually talking to me like a normal human being who has something to say, really stands out and impresses me.

My favorite message has a combination of something from my profile, pointing out something we have in common, a question or two about one of my interests, and a comment that they would like to talk to me and get to know me better. I really don't see how you can go wrong with a message like that, unless you're sending it to the wrong person, in which case you should just move along to someone who appreciates it.

Honestly. I'm convinced it's the hair. It's not "popular" here.

[WhiteOwl]

Originally Posted by Fraser_0762

Honestly. I'm convinced it's the hair. It's not "popular" here.

Really? What's wrong with your hair?

[Fraser_0762]

Originally Posted by WhiteOwl

Really? What's wrong with your hair?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gfRtgMWUgs