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  #31  
Old 02-26-18, 05:46 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

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Originally Posted by userguide View Post
Why actually ? Because she gets 1000s of it or there's another reason ?
Short answer? Because it's creepy and weird.

The long answer: because it feels gross and objectifying. Because looks fade. Because no woman wants to feel like you don't care what she has to say or who she is, that you just like her because you think she's hot. Women, very broadly and generally speaking, are looking for a relationship with someone she actually likes as a person and who likes her back as a person, not just someone who gets turned on by her body. A body that will change with age, could change significantly after child birth and what if a possible accident happens that leaves her disfigured somehow?

Like Sweets pointed out, that's the reason some women put "say something interesting" on their profiles. It's not about getting sex ASAP. I myself typically write something along the lines of "tell me about your favorite animal" or some other silly thing that will both start a conversation (I love animals) and prove that they read my profile. Then if they fail to do that I know they:

1. Didn't bother reading my profile, or
2. They read it, but don't care about what I want to talk about
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  #32  
Old 02-26-18, 05:51 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

if i were you, my answer would be" "inspire me". Or just be authentic and tell her you don't know what to do with that question as you find it more interesting to get to know her than tell her something, and then ask her a personal question like " what would you love to happen when you meet someone here?" That way you take controle and women love it when men do that (well i do!) and you can get a more real conversation.
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  #33  
Old 02-26-18, 06:05 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

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Originally Posted by Kaia.S View Post
if i were you, my answer would be" "inspire me". Or just be authentic and tell her you don't know what to do with that question as you find it more interesting to get to know her than tell her something, and then ask her a personal question like " what would you love to happen when you meet someone here?" That way you take controle and women love it when men do that (well i do!) and you can get a more real conversation.
This is why it's tricky to give exact answers, because both of these would make me shake my head and think he's too much of a control freak or picked up the line from a cheesy "how to talk to women" guide. I get a bad Fifty Shades of Grey feeling from the first one especially.

Just be yourself, that's a super cliché answer, I know, but it's true. You can only fake being someone else for so long before your true self pops out, and women are particularly good at spotting it. If you naturally take control, go ahead and do it and attract women who like that and ya'll will have a good time. If you're someone who wants to have equal say, do that and attract women who like that (I do). If you like women who take charge, join the club.
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  #34  
Old 02-26-18, 07:00 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

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I get a bad Fifty Shades of Grey feeling from the first one especially.
Haha your feeling is not so much off... i love playing with polarity To me it's very natural and i feel a lot of love in supporting men to their natural state of being by loving the crap out of them instead of playing drama's or responding from historical abuse, but that would be an off topic conversation
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  #35  
Old 02-26-18, 10:20 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

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Originally Posted by OyVeyKitty View Post
Short answer? Because it's creepy and weird.

The long answer: because it feels gross and objectifying. Because looks fade. Because no woman wants to feel like you don't care what she has to say or who she is, that you just like her because you think she's hot. Women, very broadly and generally speaking, are looking for a relationship with someone she actually likes as a person and who likes her back as a person, not just someone who gets turned on by her body. A body that will change with age, could change significantly after child birth and what if a possible accident happens that leaves her disfigured somehow?
Plus everyone puts themselves in a good light for profile pic on these sites even men. And, Userguide- women are always evaluated on their looks-plain and simple. People can say otherwise but its true. We already have to rebuff advances, harassment and the like (not to get on a soap box) and on dating sites it can be worse then real life... Sorry to hijack

Quote:
Like Sweets pointed out, that's the reason some women put "say something interesting" on their profiles. It's not about getting sex ASAP. I myself typically write something along the lines of "tell me about your favorite animal" or some other silly thing that will both start a conversation (I love animals) and prove that they read my profile. Then if they fail to do that I know they:

1. Didn't bother reading my profile, or
2. They read it, but don't care about what I want to talk about
Sometimes it helps to make a statement like you said above but then in turn ask a question when contacted.
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  #36  
Old 02-26-18, 10:22 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

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Originally Posted by Kaia.S View Post
if i were you, my answer would be" "inspire me". Or just be authentic and tell her you don't know what to do with that question as you find it more interesting to get to know her than tell her something, and then ask her a personal question like " what would you love to happen when you meet someone here?" That way you take controle and women love it when men do that (well i do!) and you can get a more real conversation.
Not to be contrary but men generally have the upper hand or control so not all women want that. I think most women want a little yin and yang- equality.
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  #37  
Old 02-26-18, 10:23 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

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Originally Posted by Kaia.S View Post
Haha your feeling is not so much off... i love playing with polarity To me it's very natural and i feel a lot of love in supporting men to their natural state of being by loving the crap out of them instead of playing drama's or responding from historical abuse, but that would be an off topic conversation
Can you explain what you mean ? I dont understand...
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Old 02-27-18, 12:45 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
What do you mean? 1000's of what?
1000's of "I love your green eyes" or the like.


I don't use dating sites but last time I browsed one, I saw most girls didn't have more than a generic description, but almost always a carefully picked picture (makeup, good light, nice scenery) - so isn't that funny I can't compliment her on that and should make guesses about her personality (of which I have no idea)?
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Old 02-27-18, 05:28 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

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Originally Posted by userguide View Post
1000's of "I love your green eyes" or the like.


I don't use dating sites but last time I browsed one, I saw most girls didn't have more than a generic description, but almost always a carefully picked picture (makeup, good light, nice scenery) - so isn't that funny I can't compliment her on that and should make guesses about her personality (of which I have no idea)?
Of course you are able to appreciate and compliment her on that- why wouldnt you be able to?
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Old 05-03-18, 11:38 PM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

Fraser,

I’ve never asked that on a date. It sort of sounds like “entertain me”...sort of selfish?

However, perhaps she is nervous and wants you to help “break the ice.” And she worded her question awkwardly. lol

If I were you, I’d tell her about about an experience you had that is interesting....maybe you traveled fairly recently and had a great time in Costa Rica. Tell her about your trip and something interesting about it. Maybe you went zip lining over the top of a rainforest.

You can ask her if she has been there (then you can both discuss what you liked there, etc.). If not, ask her where she has traveled and what her favorite trip was.

If you hate travel, of course that’s not a good question.

You could talk about something you both enjoy....take reading, for example. You both like reading. You can tell her your favorite genres, if you visit sites like goodreads or been in a book club. Readers love to talk about reading. Right down to whether they like the e-book trend or if you like a physical book in your hands. Tell her a few titles of your favorite reads...and ask her about her reading tastes.

If it’s falling flat, you could (kindly) ask her what truly inspires her. And go from there? Ask her what makes her laugh. You don’t have a crystal ball, lol. I’d gently swing it back to her.
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Old 05-03-18, 11:44 PM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

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Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
Hmm, i'm not sure. There seems to be a general expectation that the man knows what she wants without him even needing to ask.
Yikes, that isn’t fair to you. Trust me, all women aren’t like that. My boyfriend tells me he flat out can’t tell what I’m thinking sometimes, which is OK. And we’ve been together several years.

Telll her you’re a tiger in bed and is she feeling “inspired”?
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Old 05-04-18, 01:29 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

My problem is i'm boring. I have no experiences in life that are worth talking about. I don't take trips anywhere, I don't really have any specific interests that are worth hearing about. Never completed a book in my life. Instead, I just waste away here in front of the computer screen day after day, because I just can't find the sustained motivation required to live a meaningful life.


It's no wonder I can't hold an interesting conversation with anybody, because I have nothing interesting to say about anything.
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Old 05-04-18, 01:41 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Of course you are able to appreciate and compliment her on that- why wouldnt you be able to?

Because woman get those messages 100+ times a day by a countless number of sleaze balls. It's an instant delete without a second thought.
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  #44  
Old 05-07-18, 03:17 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

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My problem is i'm boring. I have no experiences in life that are worth talking about. I don't take trips anywhere, I don't really have any specific interests that are worth hearing about. Never completed a book in my life. Instead, I just waste away here in front of the computer screen day after day, because I just can't find the sustained motivation required to live a meaningful life.


It's no wonder I can't hold an interesting conversation with anybody, because I have nothing interesting to say about anything.
I think you are overly hard on yourself. If you are so boring with a boring life then why do I read your posts? I require mental stimulation to do anything and if it's boring I check out-and I'd tell you that. So what gives? Am I making an exception by allowing myself one boring bloke a day and that it's you?

The answer is no. But if you need experiences to talk about you are going to have to do something so you can.
Something else I thought of is you can learn all about something you'd like to do and how it works- and that can count as experience when it comes to talking.
I'd like to ride a hot air balloon and visit mars. I have never done it before and do not have the math skills to work it out with NASA but I could talk about mars for hours. See what I mean?
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  #45  
Old 05-07-18, 06:51 AM
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Re: Question for the ladies (and alpha males)

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I think you are overly hard on yourself. If you are so boring with a boring life then why do I read your posts? I require mental stimulation to do anything and if it's boring I check out-and I'd tell you that. So what gives? Am I making an exception by allowing myself one boring bloke a day and that it's you?

The answer is no. But if you need experiences to talk about you are going to have to do something so you can.
Something else I thought of is you can learn all about something you'd like to do and how it works- and that can count as experience when it comes to talking.
I'd like to ride a hot air balloon and visit mars. I have never done it before and do not have the math skills to work it out with NASA but I could talk about mars for hours. See what I mean?

I would like to learn something that I can then use to talk about. But it's hard when I can't do something for longer than 5 minutes without getting fed up with whatever i'm doing. I never stick with something long enough to get good enough at it in order to know what i'm talking about on the subject. There's a lot of things i'd like to do, but never will, because i'll forever lose my way on my path to doing them.
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