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  #1  
Old 12-11-17, 11:16 AM
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Arguing - Debating - ADD

I grew up in a family that loved to talk about the hard stuff. We never shied away from conversations that were difficult.

Some people when a debate or argument arises shut down, and don't want to talk.

I can respect that to some degree. Cuz I spew things out of my mouth and think out loud. I may say something I don't agree with, but being verbal is how I process information at times. Sometimes it really helps me, other times I just need to shut up and listen.

Is being a verbal processor pretty common with ADD?
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Old 12-11-17, 11:52 AM
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Re: Arguing - Debating - ADD

Impulsively speaking or not waiting for someone to finish their point or talking over them are common. I love a good debate and have no shame in saying that I learn stuff from people even if we disagree.
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Old 12-11-17, 12:44 PM
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Re: Arguing - Debating - ADD

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Impulsively speaking or not waiting for someone to finish their point or talking over them are common. I love a good debate and have no shame in saying that I learn stuff from people even if we disagree.
Very well put. And we are often accused of not listening. Even though we are also listening to the conversation going on in the other room at the same exact time. haha!
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Old 12-11-17, 07:08 PM
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Re: Arguing - Debating - ADD

For some reason, I attract people that love to talk and not let me get a word in.
I really have trouble with it if it goes on too long. I need to be more blunt with them and just cut in.
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Old 12-11-17, 08:50 PM
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Re: Arguing - Debating - ADD

Quote:
Originally Posted by FlipperTheWhale View Post
For some reason, I attract people that love to talk and not let me get a word in.
I really have trouble with it if it goes on too long. I need to be more blunt with them and just cut in.
Me too. Drives me crazy.
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Old 12-11-17, 09:45 PM
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Re: Arguing - Debating - ADD

I come from a long line of loud bickerers.
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Old 12-11-17, 10:27 PM
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Re: Arguing - Debating - ADD

Of course verbal expression helps me to process, the more I make use of sensory modalities the better I process. I don't know that everything about us is a product of ADD, I think some stuff is just idiosynchratic.
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Old 12-22-17, 10:47 AM
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Re: Arguing - Debating - ADD

I have exactly the same thing!

I love debating, and I've figured out that when I'm having a heated discussion, it helps me relax in a strange way. I can just focus on the debate and stop thinking about all the other stuff that's normally racing through my mind. It's funny because my boyfriend, who doesn't have AD(H)D, always says we are completely opposite. He relaxes with some quiet time and easy conversations, while I just wanna go real deep into some topic and debate it for as long as possible. So when we are both stressed out it usually results with me bothering him about politics/history/existential topics and him trying to get away.

Also when I feel like I can't get a hold on something that's going on in my mind (just being 'stuck'), I like to just ask some one close to me if I can use them as a sounding board. It doesn't matter if they understand what I'm talking about or not. I'll just explain the entire problem to them while they just listen and it helps to get a solution. I just get these 'aha' moments of sudden clarity, which is awesome. I even have this fancy chair next to my desk at home where I will put them and they know the drill haha.
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Old 12-22-17, 02:16 PM
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Re: Arguing - Debating - ADD

People that have issues with any sort of confrontation always claim debating even heated-is the same as arguing.
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Old 12-23-17, 12:56 AM
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Re: Arguing - Debating - ADD

Debating generally has a point and is civilized in nature. Debating is a function of critical thinking and informed presentation of various points of view.

Argueing may have a point but tends to be more emotionally driven.

Debating is about learning, argueing is about whose wrong whose right. Argueing is not typically civilized ..... least not so in my family.

I don't know how ADD driven debating is in.the general population but in this community more than likely ADD is at the very.least.remotely connected
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Old 12-23-17, 02:22 AM
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Re: Arguing - Debating - ADD

I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut too. My mom was the same way...we were always arguing and clashing with each other. My dad's the opposite...he'd rather run away (physically...like going to his room) then to argue.

People always say that when they're angry they say mean things that they don't really mean to say.
Well...I say things when I get angry too...only, when I'm angry...I say PRECISELY what I mean to say...I almost never feel sorry for what I say in anger, cause I mean what I say...even if it does hurt.
I think most people are just trying to lie to themselves when they say they didn't mean what they said in anger.
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