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  #1  
Old 12-21-17, 08:48 PM
diceblue diceblue is offline
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I'm new. Almost lost my job yesterday, and think I may have ADD

Yesterday I was called on the carpet and read the riot act at work. My job involves a lot of administrative tasks in a community nonprofit. My boss yelled at me for a series of minor mistakes I've made lately, complaining that it's been a two year pattern. He said that:
I'm forgetful,
I miss minor things,
I'm not observant,
I can't remain focused,
I don't pay attention to details,
I don't stay focused in meetings,
I don't properly organize my tasks,
I constantly make minor mistakes on simple tasks,
I'm absentminded
and miss deadlines and appointments...

He almost fired me, but changed his mind when I started crying from stress. What he doesn't know is that I've had these issues as long as I can remember, and have nearly been fired from other jobs for the same thing. I'm 29 years old and feel like I can never succeed at a career.

I've never imagined that I could have ADD until last night. My boss' words kept echoing in my mind :

"Where is your head, diceblue?... What was going through your head?... What were you thinking?"

It got me wondering, maybe there is something cognitive to this. I've always been told that I'm lazy, forgetful, unfocused, and incompetent. That if I just worked harder things would be better. But nothing I do seems to help. My wife showed me the DSM5 definition for ADD and it was like looking in a mirror. The more I find out about it, the more it sounds possible.

I feel like I've discovered a whole realm of myself I was never aware of. I also feel hopeless and like that will never be able to fix this. It's like being told you can somehow change your eye color just by trying harder. Like, I can't, this is just who I am and I how I am.

What can I do to change things? Where do I go from here?
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  #2  
Old 12-21-17, 10:51 PM
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Re: I'm new. Almost lost my job yesterday, and think I may have ADD

Hi diceblue,

Welcome!! This is a great and helpful site for almost all issues connected with ADHD. Your story sounds very familiar to me and many here. We can't give medical advice but it's important that you get to the bottom of what is going on. There is a negative pattern that has caused problems at jobs for years- one of the telltale signs for sure.

There is no singular test that can tell you if you have ADHD. It's a combination of issues going on in life that are causing problems in your life- and sometimes a formal evaluation by psychologist. There are many on here who KNOW that they have ADHD and are being treated with medication without having a formal evaluation. I knew I had ADHD after spending time on here but I had to have a formal evaluation as I needed to get accommodations while going back to school for nursing.

I recommend that you continue to look at all of the forums on here and as you learn more about ADHD, you will figure out how you want to proceed.

GOOD LUCK!!
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Old 12-21-17, 10:59 PM
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Re: I'm new. Almost lost my job yesterday, and think I may have ADD

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Originally Posted by diceblue View Post

What can I do to change things? Where do I go from here?
Welcome to the forum!

To change things you need to find out the cause. From here you should probably get evaluated by a mental health professional.

Best wishes on your mission!
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Old 12-23-17, 07:33 AM
kilted_scotsman kilted_scotsman is offline
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Re: I'm new. Almost lost my job yesterday, and think I may have ADD

Remember that everyone makes minor mistakes......

Bosses who yell at people and threaten to sack them for minor mistakes are making a bigger mistake.

When this happens..... remember there are two parts to it...... yes what you did is involved, but it's not the whole story..... there's the boss part too...... usually the boss has some stress/psychological issues that they are not aware of and are taking it out on the staff.... because that's easier than admitting they may have an issue.

In short..... it might be something like ADHD, but it's just as likely to be caused by ongoing stress working for a community non-profit run by a stressed boss.

finding a good therapist to talk this stuff through with is probably a better move than a psych evaluation..... a good therapist can help you disentangle the issues to see whats yours and what's not...... once that's sorted you can decide whether a psych eval is required.
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Old 01-15-18, 05:21 AM
Jaykay8 Jaykay8 is offline
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Re: I'm new. Almost lost my job yesterday, and think I may have ADD

Sounds exactly like undiagnosed adhd. Get to a psychiatrist for a full evaluation. Treating this properly will turn your entire life around! All the best.
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Old 01-15-18, 06:18 AM
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Re: I'm new. Almost lost my job yesterday, and think I may have ADD

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Originally Posted by kilted_scotsman View Post
When this happens..... remember there are two parts to it...... yes what you did is involved, but it's not the whole story..... there's the boss part too...... usually the boss has some stress/psychological issues that they are not aware of and are taking it out on the staff.... because that's easier than admitting they may have an issue.
Yes, please keep this in mind.

My life has improved about 200% since diagnosis in October.
And, I am *still* getting yelled at (although not being threatened to be sacked).

So I can clearly see, that there is a real communication problem with my boss; and probably 2-way, I've been at this job for 10 years now.
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Old 01-16-18, 10:11 PM
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Re: I'm new. Almost lost my job yesterday, and think I may have ADD

Oh man,

Bad criticism at work is so painful and demoralizing.

Feeling your job in danger is so frightening.

Feeling that your own weaknesses are part of the problem can feel so embarrassing, humiliating.

Definitely get to a psychiatrist for an eval of ADHD asap. You might also have some depression ... just be brutally honest about your habits and mind.

You're 29, and that's good news. I was 46 when I got diagnosed. You have time to turn things around in the workplace, but this will require some work.

Just a long-term point to consider: administrative jobs are often a terrible fit for people with ADHD. Paperwork and following details and keeping track of multiple projects and overseeing others and meeting deadlines---those really not what ADHD people are good at. The good news is with a little work and luck, you don't have to be good at this.There are thousands of jobs that don't require you to be such an administrator.

Take a look around at the jobs at your workplace and think about what job would be easier to do and still fun and enjoyable. Or think about what job would work for you as you are right now. Not a fantasy version of yourself--but as you are now.

I'm a teacher and thank God, I have less paperwork than most teachers, and just keeping up with my classes is challenge enough. I attend few meetings and I don't serve on any committees, because I know committee work taxes my brain ... can't do it well. I have a colleague, actually several colleagues, who can teach and run projects. One just raised money for a new center and arranges seminars and workshops ... The amount of paperwork and phone calls and coordination and followup she had to do to raise money for the new center is astounding. I thankfully can acknowledge that doing a 1/10 of what she does would overwhelm me. But that's fine ... I don't need to be an administrator.

Where along the way did you convince yourself that the only good jobs would be administrative jobs?

Tone
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