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  #16  
Old 03-02-18, 03:43 PM
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Re: Dating guy with ADD and he dosen't respond to my texts all the time

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Originally Posted by SuperP View Post
Hi Lunacie, I'm just jumping in here cause I had a similar experience with dating an ADHD guy. He seemed to really like me when we were together and he always told me he missed me when I saw him, but he was horrible at texting and keeping in touch..just very inconsistent.

Sometimes he would text me several times a day and even ask me questions, and then drop me in the middle... Its like he would fall off the face of the earth. At times, I wouldnt hear from him for days or weeks. But again, when we were together, it was magical.

Same thing happened with the guy I dated before him...He had Aspergers and claimed to REALLY like me. We had fun together, but it was the same thing...inconsistency with texting and communication, and, eventually, I just gave up. I figured that they "were just not that into me". And maybe that was the case.

But interestingly, I have been dating a guy now for three months that doesnt have ADHD or Aspergers (that I know of). It is so nice and refreshing to have this consistent communication. It doesnt mean that we are constantly "texting eachother back Immediately all day long". We take breaks in communication and see eachother about 2-3 times a week...but its VERY nice and VERY refreshing to be on the same page. I know that when he doesnt get back to me right away, that he will eventually, and he will never let a whole day pass to respond to simple text.

I still dont know if ADHD/Aspergers has anything to do with inconsistent texing/communication.

Oh, and btw, the guy that I dated with Aspergers got in touch with me recently because he came to suddenly realize (after about 2 years) that he misses me ??? not sure what thats about.

Curious about your thoughts
I have one granddaughter with adhd and one granddaughter with autism.
My daughter and I have always said that the most consistent thing about both
of them was their inconsistency. That's a big trait in adhd. Autism too I guess.

One day you feel like your brain is turned 'on' and communication is easier and
enjoyable. That evening or the next day, or the next week, you feel like your
brain is turned 'off' and social things like communication are Just Too Difficult.

If you add in sensory issues, which many adhders have and most austistics
have, when you are just overloaded with input (mental, emotional, sensory)
you need time to decompress and reduce the load over time. First there may
be a 'meltdown' where anger and frustration take over, followed by a
'shutdown' where interacting with the rest of the world is Just Too Difficult.
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  #17  
Old 03-02-18, 03:50 PM
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Re: Dating guy with ADD and he dosen't respond to my texts all the time

Thanks Lunacie, your response is very helpful. I always felt like there was a link between ADHD/Aspergers and inconsistent communication...which is why it was hard for me to get really angry.

But at the same time, its hard to have a relationship and not to take the lack of consistency personally. I really liked both of these men very much...but my insecurities were exacerbated in these relationships.
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