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  #1  
Old 01-14-18, 09:39 AM
ryanLRC2015 ryanLRC2015 is offline
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When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

In the past, I’ve had some people end a friendship with me or other people for various dumb reasons. The most common being they heard something about their friend from someone else and just assume that what they heard was true, even if they knew your friend very well. I had this experience. In college I was friends with someone but then at the beginning of a school year, she met some new friends that were freshmen. Me and her were friends for almost a year. Well she started ignoring me when she met her new friends and then one of them told her I was backstabbing her which wasn’t true. I couldn’t believe she believed it and now think that means she never thought of me as a friend.

Despite her knowing me very well and she knew I didn’t talk bad about other ls, she believed the freshmen who told her and she asked me to tell the truth and asked why I did that. I told her that it was false and that I wouls never do that and she knew that. She countered it by saying someone else, who barely knew who I was anyway, had said it was true so therefore it must be true. We stopped hanging out after that. Turns out she did that to some other people as well months after she did it to me.

At first I thought I was alone but apparently not. Not sure if she had some sort of emotional problems or if that was just her cowardly way of trying to end friendships she no longer liked or never liked. After that happened, and after I heard she had done it to several other people, it made me wonder if she was either having problems or if she thought of friends as disposable and was too scared to end a friendship in a more mature manner, therefore, making up stories and trying to get people on her side and to stop hanging out with someone. She would tell other people about what she heard about a specific person, even if it wasn’t true or had no proof, and try to get them on her side, so it made me think she was never a real friend to me or others.

What are some dumb reasons people ended a friendship with you? How did you deal with it? I understand that most friendships don’t last long, but at times like these, I feel like some people are either too scared to tell the person they just simply don’t want to be friends anymore so they make up a lame reason that may not even be true or they have some problems or may not have been real friends in the first place. Do you think people like this really weren’t friends in the first place? Do you think it is cowardly to end friendships this way? Just wondered.
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Old 01-14-18, 04:43 PM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

People often choose to end friendships because their friend is judgemental, e.g. deciding their reasoning is dumb without knowing their side of the story.


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Old 01-14-18, 05:36 PM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

I think this kind of situation might happen because your friend is jealous and insecure; perhaps she really believed someone she knew less well, or her mind imagined this scenario, because she was "expecting" to eventually be treated unfairly by what she thought were true friends. ( due to past issues or bad experiences).
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Old 01-14-18, 05:48 PM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

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Originally Posted by aeon View Post
People often choose to end friendships because their friend is judgemental, e.g. deciding their reasoning is dumb without knowing their side of the story.


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Makes sense.
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Old 01-14-18, 05:50 PM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

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I think this kind of situation might happen because your friend is jealous and insecure; perhaps she really believed someone she knew less well, or her mind imagined this scenario, because she was "expecting" to eventually be treated unfairly by what she thought were true friends. ( due to past issues or bad experiences).
Yeah that is possible. Didn’t think of that one.
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Old 01-14-18, 08:25 PM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

It doesn't matter. It's her problem, not yours. So just make new friends. If you really want to sling mud at her though, become friends with her friends, then totally ignore her.

Friendships usually aren't forever. So learning the skill of making new friends is an important aspect of life.
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Old 01-14-18, 09:09 PM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

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Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
It doesn't matter. It's her problem, not yours. So just make new friends. If you really want to sling mud at her though, become friends with her friends, then totally ignore her.

Friendships usually aren't forever. So learning the skill of making new friends is an important aspect of life.
Yeah I know. I just wish some people were a bit more honest but yeah, I agree that basically all friendships are temporary.
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Old 01-14-18, 10:13 PM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

The fact that this person believed the fake reports on you ... shows a basic lack of trust and a ignorance about friendship. She could have come to you when she heard the report.

Anyway, the truth is ... she was gonna betray you at some point. If that little bit leads to the end of friendship, then there would have been another event that she would have used to end the friendship.

With me, the friendships just sorta fade out over time based on being in different towns, new lives, etc., no more activity in common and so on.

Tone
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Old 01-15-18, 03:46 AM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

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Originally Posted by ryanLRC2015 View Post
In the past, I’ve had some people end a friendship with me or other people for various dumb reasons. The most common being they heard something about their friend from someone else and just assume that what they heard was true, even if they knew your friend very well. I had this experience. In college I was friends with someone but then at the beginning of a school year, she met some new friends that were freshmen. Me and her were friends for almost a year. Well she started ignoring me when she met her new friends and then one of them told her I was backstabbing her which wasn’t true. I couldn’t believe she believed it and now think that means she never thought of me as a friend.
Truth be told, she wanted to believe the new friends, for whatever reason. It had nothing to do with her actually thinking you did anything to her. She wanted the new friends to like her and to have them to hang out with so she chose to believe what was truly unbelievable. It happens alot like that in college especially when you live on campus together.
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Old 01-15-18, 04:22 AM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Truth be told, she wanted to believe the new friends, for whatever reason. It had nothing to do with her actually thinking you did anything to her. She wanted the new friends to like her and to have them to hang out with so she chose to believe what was truly unbelievable. It happens alot like that in college especially when you live on campus together.
Yeah that makes sense. Probably just preferred to be with the new friends so she believed them in order to be liked. I agree, that stuff can happen a lot when living on a college campus. It is not as dramatic as high school but it still happens.
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Old 01-15-18, 04:26 AM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

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Originally Posted by ToneTone View Post
The fact that this person believed the fake reports on you ... shows a basic lack of trust and a ignorance about friendship. She could have come to you when she heard the report.

Anyway, the truth is ... she was gonna betray you at some point. If that little bit leads to the end of friendship, then there would have been another event that she would have used to end the friendship.

With me, the friendships just sorta fade out over time based on being in different towns, new lives, etc., no more activity in common and so on.

Tone
You are exactly right. Yeah she could have handled it better and she clearly doesn’t care about the true meaning of friendship. She may have actually been using me as a friend of convenience for a bit until she found better friends she liked. I agree, she would have found another reason to end it. She clearly didn’t want to be aroubd me anymore so she found any reason possible to end it. Also I’ve had that happen too where a friendship just fades out. That is not a bad way. Actually I think most good friendships that come to end just fade out. Both people still may like each other or respect each other, but they won’t be friends anymore. I think that is better than someone dramatically ending a friendship for a stupid reason or giving a stupid reason.

Last edited by ryanLRC2015; 01-15-18 at 04:41 AM..
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Old 01-15-18, 04:39 PM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

And if she does this to you, just a matter of time before she does the same behavior with her new set of "friends."

Tone
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Old 01-15-18, 04:56 PM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

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And if she does this to you, just a matter of time before she does the same behavior with her new set of "friends."

Tone
Yep exactly.
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Old 01-16-18, 06:08 AM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

Hey Ryan- screw her. You are the better person. Here you are thinking about it and I bet she is busy planning her night out with her new Besties.
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Old 01-16-18, 08:08 AM
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Re: When friends end a friendship for dumb reasons

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Hey Ryan- screw her. You are the better person. Here you are thinking about it and I bet she is busy planning her night out with her new Besties.
Yep probably. I bet she has done that to many other people too possibly.
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