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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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Old 02-11-18, 10:11 AM
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Really good article with poignant post about how much a woman does for her family.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...b06505b4e89f94

The post referred to is below-I copied and pasted so as to not link to social media:
Quote:

I am the keeper.


I am the keeper of schedules. Of practices, games, and lessons. Of projects, parties, and dinners. Of appointments and homework assignments.

I am the keeper of information. Who needs food 5 minutes before a meltdown occurs and who needs space when he gets angry. Whether there are clean clothes, whether bills are paid, and whether we are out of milk.

I am the keeper of solutions. Of bandaids and sewing kits and snacks in my purse. But also of emotional balms and metaphorical security blankets.

I am the keeper of preferences. Of likes and dislikes. Of nightly rituals and food aversions.

I am the keeper of reminders. To be kind, to pick up their trash, to do their dishes, to do their homework, to hold open doors and write thank you notes.

I am the keeper of rituals and memories. Of pumpkin patches and Easter egg hunts. I am the taker of pictures, the collector of special ornaments, and the writer of letters.

I am the keeper of emotional security. The repository of comfort, the navigator of bad moods, the holder of secrets and the soother of fears.

I am the keeper of the peace. The mediator of fights, the arbiter of disputes, the facilitator of language, the handler of differing personalities.

I am the keeper of worry. Theirs and my own.

I am the keeper of the good and the bad, the big and the small, the beautiful and the hard.

Most of the time, the weight of these things I keep resembles the upper elements on the periodic table - lighter than air, buoying me with a sense of purpose.

But sometimes the weight of the things I keep pulls me down below the surface until I am kicking and struggling to break the surface and gasp for breath.

Because these things I keep are constantly flickering in the back of my brain, waiting to be forgotten. They scatter my thoughts and keep me awake long past my bedtime.

Because all these things I keep are invisible, intangible. They go unnoticed and unacknowledged until they are missed. They are not graded or peer reviewed or ruled on by a court. And sometimes they are taken for granted.

My husband and my boys are kind and generous and they love me hard. And this is by far the greatest job I have ever had. But sometimes being the Keeper is exhausting. Because you feel like you're doing it alone.

So to all of you who are keepers, I see you.

I know the weight of the things you keep.

I know the invisible work you do, which doesn't come with a pay check or sick leave, is what makes the world go round.

I see you.

And I salute you.
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Old 02-11-18, 10:49 AM
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Re: Really good article with poignant post about how much a woman does for her family

You know...my mom would often complain about not having enough time to herself...and I'd' often roll my eyes at her because I felt like she had all the time in the world.

Only now that she's gone am I starting to realize how much she did. And I don't understand where her energy came from...to keep up with it all. She didn't run just her life, but mine and my dad's as well.

It's too bad I hadn't appreciated her more when she was around.
I love you mom. Oh how I miss you...my heart is broken without you. Thank you for all that you did for me...you gave so much. I wonder if you've got regrets about giving so much to me and dad...and not more to your own self.

(((Mom)))

Thank you Sweets for sharing such a beautiful article.

(((Sweets)))
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Old 02-12-18, 05:42 AM
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Re: Really good article with poignant post about how much a woman does for her family

I hope I didnt trigger you psycho- unless I triggered the fond memories without the pain. This little article really said what I have always wanted to say.
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Old 02-12-18, 08:21 AM
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Re: Really good article with poignant post about how much a woman does for her family

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I hope I didnt trigger you psycho- unless I triggered the fond memories without the pain. This little article really said what I have always wanted to say.
Oh no! Not at all...the article only made me think of very fond memories of my mom...so thank you for that! My mom was awesome as are so many moms!! I didn't give her the credit she so deserved.

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Old 02-12-18, 11:31 AM
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Re: Really good article with poignant post about how much a woman does for her family

So true for so many.

That is why I hope for a change in culture where men are equal partners in parenting and home life.

So as to afford time and resources such that women can be not just keeper, but lover, inner girl, explorer, artist, self-carer, volunteer, leader, athlete, or whatever else they would choose to do if they had the time and freedom to choose in their own self-interest, exclusive of being mother, wife, cook, cleaner, carer, and so on.

Not selfish, because it would not come at anyone else’s expense...but self-directed in terms of focus and source of agency.


Cheers,
Ian
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Old 02-15-18, 03:43 PM
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Re: Really good article with poignant post about how much a woman does for her family

So interesting ... I have noticed the following:

I'll be shopping and looking online for men's shoes or men's pants ... and I get to the reviews and there's women there saying, "these shoes are great for my husband, who has lots of foot pain" ... It's clear these women are the "keepers" mentioned here.

I don't think there are many men posting reviews on women's clothing sites about how some shoes or pants really are good for their wives. So the imbalance seems pretty clear.

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