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Old 02-15-18, 06:57 PM
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When your word means nothing

I could live with the inability to pay attention, the little mistakes I make or even the emotional dysregulation. What I absolutely hate is the lack of control over myself. How can anyone life like this?

I've got no power over my actions. The only reason why I haven't murdered, caused grievous bodily harm, raped or robbed is because I have no desire to do so. If I did, I wouldn't be able to stop myself.

It's a thought that scares the hell out of me. Doesn't it scare anyone else? What's worse is that it robs me of any pleasure except for that which is easily and instantaneously obtained. I'm so angry and right now I'm feeling so damn sorry for myself.
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Old 02-15-18, 07:19 PM
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Re: When your word means nothing

yes, this scares me at times to. I do also feel this way at times
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Old 02-15-18, 08:01 PM
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Re: When your word means nothing

Of course it scares me, but my word does mean something.

I can also change my mind.
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Old 02-15-18, 08:18 PM
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Re: When your word means nothing

Tbh, you're one of the least scary people to me.

You have such an incredibly big heart. From the private debates forum, I'd say you are one of the most if not the most empathetic people on this board.

The scary people aren't you who doesn't have the slightest desire to hurt people in any way. It's the people who desire to rape, rob, murder. Most people in general don't care enough about others even if they don't rape or murder (robbing comes in difference forms and I'd say it's actually common among people as most are selfish). I'd be less scared with you out of control than many other people in control.

The only thing I'm afraid of with you out of control is not you hurting others but you hurting yourself. Not sure I should be saying this but I feel like you are beating yourself up for nothing right now. Have you gone to get meds again? From your previous posts it seemed like they might help. I wonder if there's some chemical imbalance or something since you had a baby.
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Old 02-17-18, 07:40 AM
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Re: When your word means nothing

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
I could live with the inability to pay attention, the little mistakes I make or even the emotional dysregulation. What I absolutely hate is the lack of control over myself. How can anyone life like this?

I've got no power over my actions. The only reason why I haven't murdered, caused grievous bodily harm, raped or robbed is because I have no desire to do so. If I did, I wouldn't be able to stop myself.

It's a thought that scares the hell out of me. Doesn't it scare anyone else? What's worse is that it robs me of any pleasure except for that which is easily and instantaneously obtained. I'm so angry and right now I'm feeling so damn sorry for myself.
Fuzzy- what you describe reminds me of Narcississm and you arent a Narcissist. A Narcissist would have no concern over rules, or hurting people. A narcissist would have no concern over hurting someone to fill their own void and in some cases where there is sociopathy involved it could go as far as murder or crime. That's not you. You have the ability to care for others.(Ive seen it here) you have the ability to feel and demonstrate love. I dont believe for a minute that just because you do not have the desire to hurt people, that that's the only thing keeping you from doing so. And you mentioned your word means nothing. What do you mean? Do you mean you promise things and then give up on them? Do you mean youll say you will do something and then give a big FU to someone elses feelings and not do it? I dont see that either.
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