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  #1  
Old 09-20-18, 05:26 PM
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Question How would you explain this situation to others

I've volunteered/worked in a field for many years and have realized that I'm being passed up for positions that other less qualified and younger people are obtaining. What's the best way to explain my situation when other opportunities for me to volunteer my time pop up?

I've realized that no matter how much I do in this field, I will not advance any further. Therefore, I'm not going to be volunteering like I used to. I'm not going to be as involved as I used to. I hope to explain myself in a way that I'm understood, but I'm sure it's going to seem like I'm ungrateful or being negative.
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Old 09-21-18, 06:44 AM
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Re: How would you explain this situation to others

Simply go to the boss an tell them you're going to quit because you do not feel the job is intereting/valuale/fullfilling.

If they dn't care, you can alway say you took a trip to North Carolina and sw the Florence ictims and you're back on track
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Old 09-21-18, 07:17 AM
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Re: How would you explain this situation to others

You don't owe any kind of explanation. just say you are currently less available bc of other priorities or engagements. Especially if it's volunteer work.
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Old 09-21-18, 08:47 AM
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Re: How would you explain this situation to others

Anon it's about self care and boundaries. You don't have to do what others request / expect of you. You don't need permission. You don't even need to make an excuse or give a reason.

I remember your posts from earlier days so I will offer you this.

Do not JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). A simple no with suffice. This is something you need to practice and it gets easier with time. It's so hard at the start but the more you do it the easier it gets.
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Old 09-21-18, 09:22 AM
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Re: How would you explain this situation to others

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Originally Posted by tudorose View Post

Do not JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). A simple no with suffice. This is something you need to practice and it gets easier with time. It's so hard at the start but the more you do it the easier it gets.

Why "do not jade" is a good idea if he can either gain or lose ?
Gain money/recognition, lose satisfaction/self-respect...
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Old 09-21-18, 10:23 AM
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Re: How would you explain this situation to others

Tudor is right. The answer is no. No one needs an explanation. Less is more.
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Old 09-21-18, 01:50 PM
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Re: How would you explain this situation to others

I like tudorose's answer and if they don't ask you why, you can just not tell them the reason. But if they end up asking you why which would not surprise me since you've been doing it for so long, just tell them something generic but still true like you want to prioritize your family (might not be the only or even main reason but I assume spending more time with your family is a good thing).

I've been told, you never give the actual reason for leaving on any job (especially paid ones but unpaid too) if the reason is dissatisfaction in something. They rarely learn and it may bite you in the butt someday. It's a smart practice which tbh, I've had difficulties following myself in the past.
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Old 09-22-18, 08:45 PM
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Re: How would you explain this situation to others

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Originally Posted by acdc01 View Post
I've been told, you never give the actual reason for leaving on any job (especially paid ones but unpaid too) if the reason is dissatisfaction in something. They rarely learn and it may bite you in the butt someday. It's a smart practice which tbh, I've had difficulties following myself in the past.
That's the struggle I'm having. I want to let them know the "why," but it's probably unproductive. It's not going to change anything anyway.
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Old 09-25-18, 11:52 PM
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Re: How would you explain this situation to others

Quote:
Originally Posted by tudorose View Post
Anon it's about self care and boundaries. You don't have to do what others request / expect of you. You don't need permission. You don't even need to make an excuse or give a reason.

I remember your posts from earlier days so I will offer you this.

Do not JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). A simple no with suffice. This is something you need to practice and it gets easier with time. It's so hard at the start but the more you do it the easier it gets.



I've never seen this before!! I love it!! I'm all about JADE to my great detriment.
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