hello all

[Drogheda98]

to the moderators, I'm not stupid, that's all that I need to say, I'm very internet savvy, as well as , well, ya, I think you get what I mean.

I know what that means, I know the spirit, tonight it's low, very low, we are all torth berrorors and tonight, my torch is, low indeed.

I've been having suicidal idiations, been contimplating becoming a father and what that would mean, if my adiation continuous it's a no go, I don't want to bring anybody into the world with me in my current state, I don't even want connection with anybody in my current state, thus I hope to improve.

I know about 123, abc, xyz in detail, external from internal cultural artifacts, all that. what can be engeratined in thought can be made, I wonder if I can be good a mathematician just cause I've plunge near my depths. and I keep going, wanting to know it all, the core of my being, which, apparently threatens some.

I remember " get it away", in which I have to set up another ego boundry, as if ego boundaries are a bad thing this day and age, I'm just

I've been looking into bion's "O" theory and have hope in my heart, sense I know my ego I is my body, heart and soul.

My father keeps calling me what I'm not, a baby, my motther keeps on calling me what I'm not, in which I recall the myth of perius, and I hold up my right hand to reflect. she triped the other day and said why I tripped, which, ya....

I have an IQ of 140, I told her that and she started micromanaging every ******* thing in my life, a real downer, I could of been anything, I could of been a scientist, I could of been a pioneer of any industry or anything, but now.... I just, I'm just doing everything in my own power not to end it. knowing how smart I am just seems to make it worse for me.

I know all the self talk, the it's, the pronouns, the he is me thus ' he's for other and it's others, I know hot to talk to others without an ego, but I'm a survior, and the ego, the what is, enthralls me. I've contemplated eternity, the inner and outer, relegated for lack of a better word by my ego skin.

however, I expresse my oppinions and I think I was banned here, so, I will probably be agin for expressing my oppinion, my oppinion on anything is always doomed to failure the same way I am. sometimes I wish I wasn't as smart as I am, so I smoke, and drink in hopes that my smarts will stop.

they don't, I just get smarter, I tried to off myself before, thinking I had a pshychotic break and I might have, I didn't, or haven't, I just get smarter. my faqther calls me a babe and it drives me up the wall, my motherm she thinks I'm her, and I kn0w I'm not and I just get sad inside knowing all that I know.

to the mods, know I know what you know about the interwebs, if you don't want me here just ASK please and nobody will ever hear from me again hear at the adhd boards, it's that simple.

I just want somebody to be honest with me for one in my life. if anybody can offer my honesty, 100000 million internet dollars.

I don't want to end it, I don't want to go away, I have lots more story to tell,if only anybody will listen, which, I think is from my parents never listening to me about anything, ya, I've been contemplating that kind of behavior.

/sad face

[namazu]

Originally Posted by Drogheda98

to the mods, know I know what you know about the interwebs, if you don't want me here just ASK please and nobody will ever hear from me again hear at the adhd boards, it's that simple.

?!?!?!

You're welcome here.

Originally Posted by Drogheda98

I expresse my oppinions and I think I was banned here

You were not banned. We don't ban people (other than blatant spammers) without explicit warnings, and then only when they continue to violate site guidelines. If you had been banned, you'd have received a message to that effect.

Originally Posted by Drogheda98

I just want somebody to be honest with me for one in my life. if anybody can offer my honesty, 100000 million internet dollars.

Honest!

I'm sorry you're continuing to have such a rough time with your parents, to the point that you feel you need to dull yourself to cope.

I hope you'll keep posting.

[midnightstar]

We do want you here, Drogheda, feel free to PM me if there's anything I can do to help you feel more welcome here

The site was down for a while earlier this year, is this what you are referring to about getting banned? Nobody could access the forum, not even us moderators, so it was tech problem not anyone getting banned

[Greyhound1]

Hey Drogheda,
You’ve never been in jeopardy of getting banned. I’m glad you are here and hope things get better for you soon. Hang in there!

Best wishes

[Drogheda98]

thank you greyhound, you as well nam and you as well midnight. I've just been, pluming the depths so to speak, atleast I know now what troubles me.

today has been a lot better than yesterday though, had class, met friends, and I'm not insinuating not here but r/l friends, lined up my graduation, the classes I'll be taking, I feel a lot better when I'm doing, getting **** done, heh.

I was just afraid I had my Ip ghosted, didn't realize that the boards were actually down for everybody.

[Greyhound1]

Originally Posted by Drogheda98

I was just afraid I had my Ip ghosted, didn't realize that the boards were actually down for everybody.

I’m sorry you were concerned about getting ghosted. We would never do that to to you or any legitimate member, only spammers and bots get banned without warnings. Even they receive a message when they do and a reason why.

It’s actually very difficult to get banned here imo. unless that's the intention. There is a system of procedures and steps in place for everyone, including me and all staff that gives us so many chances to not get banned. There would be tons of warnings, infractions and staff attempts at dialogue before a member may be in jeopardy.

Unfortunately, our old, outdated platform here, bans us all from time to time.

Glad to see you back and just know we want more active members like you around and ghost banning doesn’t happen here.

Well wishes.

[Monox D. I-Fly]

Originally Posted by Greyhound1

It’s actually very difficult to get banned here imo. unless that's the intention. There is a system of procedures and steps in place for everyone, including me and all staff that gives us so many chances to not get banned. There would be tons of warnings, infractions and staff attempts at dialogue before a member may be in jeopardy.

Sometimes when I read some very old posts I found some comments from banned members and seeing that they have a handful amount of posts and their post still made sense, they're definitely not spammers. So, why are they banned? I'm just afraid that someday I will get banned for lashing out to you guys when the time I can't resist my ADD anymore comes.

[midnightstar]

Originally Posted by Monox D. I-Fly

Sometimes when I read some very old posts I found some comments from banned members and seeing that they have a handful amount of posts and their post still made sense, they're definitely not spammers. So, why are they banned? I'm just afraid that someday I will get banned for lashing out to you guys when the time I can't resist my ADD anymore comes.

People will only ever get banned if they are constantly causing trouble and refuse to listen to us mods when we reach out, we don't ban someone for having a episode, if we know it's a episode then we will do our best to help you

[Andi]

Some people want to be banned to deal with online addiction.

[namazu]

Originally Posted by Monox D. I-Fly

Sometimes when I read some very old posts I found some comments from banned members and seeing that they have a handful amount of posts and their post still made sense, they're definitely not spammers. So, why are they banned? I'm just afraid that someday I will get banned for lashing out to you guys when the time I can't resist my ADD anymore comes.

Posts that violate our site guidelines are usually removed -- that's why you don't see them.

Since this is an ADHD forum, we understand that people have bad days and post impulsively, and our intent is not to punish or shame people for it! As others have noted, we don't ban people without strong reasons, and we don't ban people (other than spammers) without giving ample warning and opportunity for redemption.

This is what Andrew the Admin wrote about being banned in the forum guidelines section:

Originally Posted by Andrew

There are specific scenarios in which a member may be banned. You are welcome to re-visit the forum guidelines to determine the criteria in which an account may be closed and a member banned.

We take banning very seriously and it is only done as a measure of last resort. Please know that if a member is banned from these forums, sufficient member activity has occurred to warrant such an action by staff.

It should also be noted, as an aside, that staff will NOT publicize the reasons behind such administrative actions. So, please save your rumors and innuendos. They're unnecessary.

[Greyhound1]

Originally Posted by Monox D. I-Fly

Sometimes when I read some very old posts I found some comments from banned members and seeing that they have a handful amount of posts and their post still made sense, they're definitely not spammers. So, why are they banned? I'm just afraid that someday I will get banned for lashing out to you guys when the time I can't resist my ADD anymore comes.

You are only seeing the good part of the whole picture when you read their posts. All the posts which were blatant violations get removed and don’t show up on the forum or in their stats. You can only access their posts which were within the guidelines.

[Monox D. I-Fly]

Ah, I see. Glad to see that I can still linger here.

[Greyhound1]

Originally Posted by Monox D. I-Fly

Ah, I see. Glad to see that I can still linger here.

Please linger all you want and enjoy the forum.

[Monox D. I-Fly]

Originally Posted by Greyhound1

Please linger all you want and enjoy the forum.

Roger that.