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#1
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hello all
to the moderators, I'm not stupid, that's all that I need to say, I'm very internet savvy, as well as , well, ya, I think you get what I mean.
I know what that means, I know the spirit, tonight it's low, very low, we are all torth berrorors and tonight, my torch is, low indeed. I've been having suicidal idiations, been contimplating becoming a father and what that would mean, if my adiation continuous it's a no go, I don't want to bring anybody into the world with me in my current state, I don't even want connection with anybody in my current state, thus I hope to improve. I know about 123, abc, xyz in detail, external from internal cultural artifacts, all that. what can be engeratined in thought can be made, I wonder if I can be good a mathematician just cause I've plunge near my depths. and I keep going, wanting to know it all, the core of my being, which, apparently threatens some. I remember " get it away", in which I have to set up another ego boundry, as if ego boundaries are a bad thing this day and age, I'm just I've been looking into bion's "O" theory and have hope in my heart, sense I know my ego I is my body, heart and soul. My father keeps calling me what I'm not, a baby, my motther keeps on calling me what I'm not, in which I recall the myth of perius, and I hold up my right hand to reflect. she triped the other day and said why I tripped, which, ya.... I have an IQ of 140, I told her that and she started micromanaging every ******* thing in my life, a real downer, I could of been anything, I could of been a scientist, I could of been a pioneer of any industry or anything, but now.... I just, I'm just doing everything in my own power not to end it. knowing how smart I am just seems to make it worse for me. I know all the self talk, the it's, the pronouns, the he is me thus ' he's for other and it's others, I know hot to talk to others without an ego, but I'm a survior, and the ego, the what is, enthralls me. I've contemplated eternity, the inner and outer, relegated for lack of a better word by my ego skin. however, I expresse my oppinions and I think I was banned here, so, I will probably be agin for expressing my oppinion, my oppinion on anything is always doomed to failure the same way I am. sometimes I wish I wasn't as smart as I am, so I smoke, and drink in hopes that my smarts will stop. they don't, I just get smarter, I tried to off myself before, thinking I had a pshychotic break and I might have, I didn't, or haven't, I just get smarter. my faqther calls me a babe and it drives me up the wall, my motherm she thinks I'm her, and I kn0w I'm not and I just get sad inside knowing all that I know. to the mods, know I know what you know about the interwebs, if you don't want me here just ASK please and nobody will ever hear from me again hear at the adhd boards, it's that simple. I just want somebody to be honest with me for one in my life. if anybody can offer my honesty, 100000 million internet dollars. I don't want to end it, I don't want to go away, I have lots more story to tell,if only anybody will listen, which, I think is from my parents never listening to me about anything, ya, I've been contemplating that kind of behavior. /sad face |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Drogheda98 For This Useful Post: | ||
midnightstar (11-06-19), namazu (11-06-19) |
#2
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Re: hello all
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You're welcome here. Quote:
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I'm sorry you're continuing to have such a rough time with your parents, to the point that you feel you need to dull yourself to cope. ![]() I hope you'll keep posting. |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to namazu For This Useful Post: | ||
#3
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Re: hello all
We do want you here, Drogheda, feel free to PM me if there's anything I can do to help you feel more welcome here
The site was down for a while earlier this year, is this what you are referring to about getting banned? Nobody could access the forum, not even us moderators, so it was tech problem not anyone getting banned
__________________
Beauty (12th August 2007 - 3rd November 2008 ) Dylan (4th November 2008 - 23rd March 2012) Tom (29th August 2014 - 17th October 2014) Ebony (1st January 2014 - 2nd March 2018) Tigger (31st October 2014 - current) Willow (3rd November 2018 - current) "No human should ever hurt an animal" Jessie, Animal Farm |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to midnightstar For This Useful Post: | ||
20thcenturyfox (11-06-19), Andi (11-06-19), Greyhound1 (11-06-19), Lunacie (11-08-19), namazu (11-06-19) |
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#4
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Re: hello all
Hey Drogheda,
You’ve never been in jeopardy of getting banned. I’m glad you are here and hope things get better for you soon. Hang in there! Best wishes Last edited by Greyhound1; 11-06-19 at 08:24 PM.. |
#5
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Re: hello all
thank you greyhound, you as well nam and you as well midnight. I've just been, pluming the depths so to speak, atleast I know now what troubles me.
today has been a lot better than yesterday though, had class, met friends, and I'm not insinuating not here but r/l friends, lined up my graduation, the classes I'll be taking, I feel a lot better when I'm doing, getting **** done, heh. I was just afraid I had my Ip ghosted, didn't realize that the boards were actually down for everybody. |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Drogheda98 For This Useful Post: | ||
Greyhound1 (11-06-19), midnightstar (11-07-19), Monox D. I-Fly (11-07-19), namazu (11-06-19), stef (11-06-19) |
#6
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Re: hello all
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It’s actually very difficult to get banned here imo. unless that's the intention. There is a system of procedures and steps in place for everyone, including me and all staff that gives us so many chances to not get banned. There would be tons of warnings, infractions and staff attempts at dialogue before a member may be in jeopardy. Unfortunately, our old, outdated platform here, bans us all from time to time. Glad to see you back and just know we want more active members like you around and ghost banning doesn’t happen here. Well wishes. Last edited by Greyhound1; 11-07-19 at 08:07 PM.. |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Greyhound1 For This Useful Post: | ||
#7
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Re: hello all
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__________________
Now I'm not a fun personified cheerful child anymore and just a comically serious deadpan snarker. |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Monox D. I-Fly For This Useful Post: | ||
midnightstar (11-07-19), namazu (11-07-19) |
#8
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Re: hello all
Quote:
__________________
Beauty (12th August 2007 - 3rd November 2008 ) Dylan (4th November 2008 - 23rd March 2012) Tom (29th August 2014 - 17th October 2014) Ebony (1st January 2014 - 2nd March 2018) Tigger (31st October 2014 - current) Willow (3rd November 2018 - current) "No human should ever hurt an animal" Jessie, Animal Farm |
#9
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Re: hello all
Some people want to be banned to deal with online addiction.
__________________
Be nice to me, I have powers and Andrew no longer compensates me with shoes!! Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.--Eleanor Roosevelt I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. --Frank Lloyd Wright Everything I write is fully substantiated by my personal opinion. |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Andi For This Useful Post: | ||
midnightstar (11-07-19), namazu (11-07-19) |
#10
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Re: hello all
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Since this is an ADHD forum, we understand that people have bad days and post impulsively, and our intent is not to punish or shame people for it! As others have noted, we don't ban people without strong reasons, and we don't ban people (other than spammers) without giving ample warning and opportunity for redemption. ![]() This is what Andrew the Admin wrote about being banned in the forum guidelines section: Quote:
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to namazu For This Useful Post: | ||
Greyhound1 (11-07-19), midnightstar (11-07-19) |
#11
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Re: hello all
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Greyhound1 For This Useful Post: | ||
#12
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Re: hello all
Ah, I see. Glad to see that I can still linger here.
__________________
Now I'm not a fun personified cheerful child anymore and just a comically serious deadpan snarker. |
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Monox D. I-Fly For This Useful Post: | ||
#13
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Re: hello all
Please linger all you want and enjoy the forum.
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The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Greyhound1 For This Useful Post: | ||
#14
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Re: hello all
__________________
Now I'm not a fun personified cheerful child anymore and just a comically serious deadpan snarker. |
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Monox D. I-Fly For This Useful Post: | ||
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