Alcohol and/or drugs and ADD

[Sooz]

Is medicatiing with alcohol and/or drugs prevelant with add'rs? In place of a Dr. prescription?

[Cactus]

Sure is!

I smoked the green every day from age 13 to about 27. And I don't mean the exagerating-to-make-a-point every day either. I mean *every* day. Then I switched to alcohol and a few others- thew details aren't important.

ADD meds and therapy have helped ALOT in this reguard.

[Sooz]

Originally Posted by Cactus

Sure is!

I smoked the green every day from age 13 to about 27. And I don't mean the exagerating-to-make-a-point every day either. I mean *every* day. Then I switched to alcohol and a few others- thew details aren't important.

ADD meds and therapy have helped ALOT in this reguard.

Did that make you feel more "in control" as opposed to "out of control"?

[Cactus]

Surprizingly I don't have an answer for that- control wasn't really what I was after. As for what it did do for me I'm gonna go on a little side trip first- I have a theory that there are two tiers of ADD symptoms in most ADD peoples lives. The first is the direct results of the disorder and the second is the sum of all of the adaptations to the disorders that the person makes combined with the psychologial effects of schooling and peer interactions. In my case the second layer caused me much more discomfort than the first and the weed seemed to help me cope with that.

Now that I'm in real treatment though it's far, far superior to anything that I could have come up w/ on my own.

[Sooz]

Originally Posted by Cactus

Surprizingly I don't have an answer for that- control wasn't really what I was after. As for what it did do for me I'm gonna go on a little side trip first- I have a theory that there are two tiers of ADD symptoms in most ADD peoples lives. The first is the direct results of the disorder and the second is the sum of all of the adaptations to the disorders that the person makes combined with the psychologial effects of schooling and peer interactions. In my case the second layer caused me much more discomfort than the first and the weed seemed to help me cope with that.

Now that I'm in real treatment though it's far, far superior to anything that I could have come up w/ on my own.

Maybe "control" wasn't the right word. I ask this questions - because - in my ADD hubby's case - he smoked pot ALOT as a teenager into late 20's and said it made him feel "normal". Also cocaine had the same effect. It wasn't fun for him. He describes school and peer interactions as causing discomfort the same as you do. He drinks only beer now (he is in his 50's) and I have never seen him drunk (OK twice, and that was drinking Jack Daniels). He drinks at least a 6 pack every night. He works shift work so on days he is home early he drinks more. Never during the day, he has an unspoken rule not to drink before 5 (but he'll start at 3 or 4 on his days off). He can drink seven or 8 beers in as little as two hours. I can't help but think this is a lot of beer and I wonder if he drinks to medicate his ADD. He is not on meds or any kind of therapy. In fact the mention of ADD on my part causes him to react like I called him some terrible name. I have noticed over the years that if for some reason he is unable to consume his "normal amount of beer" he does not snore (snoring is a whole nother thread!!!!). I have slept many nights on the couch cause of snoring. When I do that his feelings get really hurt and I mean really hurt!. Yet I have mentioned the beer - snoring thing and he hasn't changed his drinking pattern. Not sure where I'm go;ing here,
but I wonder if beer is his medication. He cannot get past his feelings of an ADD diagnosis making him less of a person and he is stuck in that mind set. So any mention of ADD on my part goes down-hill really fast.

[Cactus]

There seem to be a few things going on here. As far as the drinking going I'd guess that he's treating something with it, but I couldn't tell you just what. It is alot. We can make some guesses about what's going on, but that would have to come from him really. It would be pretty safe to say that something uncomfortable is going on inside and he's probably been spending a good deal of effort over many years trying to make sure that he *doesn't* find out what it is. That way he doesn't have to deal with it, if that makes any sense to you.

And this may surprize you, but the snoring could actually be a problem all on it's own. Take a look at this it's not a complete discussion, but it's a decent into. I've got this problem too and dealing w/ it might help with some others.

And the hurt feeling thing sounds very familiar to me too, but that might be another thread.

[Sooz]

Originally Posted by Cactus

There seem to be a few things going on here. As far as the drinking going I'd guess that he's treating something with it, but I couldn't tell you just what. It is alot. We can make some guesses about what's going on, but that would have to come from him really. It would be pretty safe to say that something uncomfortable is going on inside and he's probably been spending a good deal of effort over many years trying to make sure that he *doesn't* find out what it is. That way he doesn't have to deal with it, if that makes any sense to you.{Quote}

This is exactly what I have been thinking to myself!!!!!

{Quote}
And this may surprize you, but the snoring could actually be a problem all on it's own. Take a look at this it's not a complete discussion, but it's a decent into. I've got this problem too and dealing w/ it might help with some others.

And the hurt feeling thing sounds very familiar to me too, but that might be another thread.

This guy went thru surgery for snoring, he was having sleep apnea along with the loudest snoring I have ever heard in my life. Now I wonder, and think to myself, he went thru that very painful surgery, and if he had stopped drinking would he have needed it. We'll never know. But this is a guy who does things that cause so much pain in his life yet continues to do them, I'm learning that this is his ADD.

[Cactus]

So you know all about apnea then.
Oy. I had that surgery too, and it did nothing. Worst decision I ever made.


Damn sue, you're in a bad spot here. It's gotta be frustrating not to be able to make an impression on him when it's so plan to you. Seems like he's in pain over something even if he won't admit it. Could be that he's lived w/ it for so long that it's become normal and he really doesn't think that there's a problem. This is an outside shot, but can you think of any reason that he might be willing to talk to a councilor? Sometimes once you get that boulder moving just the tinyest bit it can pick up some speed by itself.

[Sooz]

Call me spot, bad spot!. I wonder if it's the ADD that keeps him where he is at.

What occurred in your life for you to change?

[adhdxyz]

Your husband sounds like mine. He was adament about NOT having ADD until I filled him with several years of add/adhd information.

My husband is one of 8 boys, who are all ADD and self medicate with alcohol and drugs. My husband finally got properly medicated in June and what a difference. It's been heaven around here and he sees it too.

Here's the short version of a long story.

My son is 12 and has been diagnosed with adhd, ocd, mood disorder and learning disabilities in math and reading. He has been medicated since 3 since he was so hyper. He was kicked out of every daycare and preschool around. It has been a long hard 9 years for us.

When he was 2, I knew something "was different". My daughter is 2 years older than he is and she was always able to have friends, play nicely at the park, be invited to birthday parties, etc... He has never been able to.

Back then, I started investigating everything I could in regard to ADD/ADHD and it all boils down to the "apple doesn't fall far from the tree".

My side of the family is talkative, friendly, outgoing, active, creative, smart, good jobs, lots of friends, artists, leaders, advocates, etc... We are the adhders.

My husbands side of the family are quiet, most didn't or barely graduated, have jobs that they are able to work indepentantly and with their hands (laborers, welders, trash haulers, mechanics, etc...). They are all very nice but have the self medicating issue going on. They have alcoholism on their side of the family along with drugs (pot and cocaine.)

My motherinlaw has been and will always be in denial. She said that her 8 boys "just didn't like school" and "hung around with the wrong crowd".

My husband flunked 2nd grade and went on the short yellow bus to special school district and then to tech school. He had a medical diagnosis of "minimal brain disfunction" which now translates into add/adhd. But she is still in denial.

Several of the grandkids have add/adhd issues also that are going undiagnosed. To my knowledge, my family is the only ones medicated. And they wonder why 4 of the 8 are divorced.

They have the typical add/adhd financial issues along with the sporadic spending on things they do not need.

Anyway, since my husband got medicated, he has quit smoking pot. He says he just doesn't need to. He does have a beer or two here and there but not nearly as much as when he was pre-medicated.

We have been doing alot more as a family and actually enjoying each other. He has completed more projects in the last month or two then ever before. When we go out, he actually strikes up conversations with strangers. He isn't as moody as before and doesn't always want to pick an argument over something stupid.

I would check into the family history on your husbands side. Tell him that add/adhd'ers are usually very smart, genius, creative, adventurous, fun, etc..and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Have him atleast try medication. (My husband and myself are on Adderall XR. My son takes Metadate.)

It can't hurt. He won't be stuck taking medication if he doesn't like to. I would highly suggest having him atleast give it a shot.

[Sooz]

My husband has been diagnosed with ADD over a year ago. The problem is he chooses to do nothing. TO him, I think, the diagnosis meant he is a freak of some sort. He stopped counceling because it was centered around him, and his diagnosise (freak). And yess, ADD runs in his family, also aspergers. He acknowleges that part of his history. I think somewhere in his head he acknowledges he has ADD but it stops there. So my question is - is it the ADD itself that keeps him from doing something constructive about it. How bad does life have to get? I know everyones threshold is different - but........

[Cactus]

"is it the ADD itself that keeps him from doing something constructive about it?"

Directly- probably not. ADD doesn't stop you from recognizing or stopping self-injuring behaviour by itself. It's probably somewhere in that second layer that he's running into trouble- with shame or emabrassment over what he sees as "failings" of his. He might be thinking that he's developed enough work-around strategies and compensating mechanisms that he doesn't need to do anything more. If dealing w/ ADD in the past was painfull enough he may be quite willing to settle for "better" rather than go through the extra effort required to get his life to "good".

But I really don't know. I'm taking my own experiences w/ ADD and trying to project them onto somebody I've never met. I've got to be painting an incomplete picture.

As for what happened to me that made me change- it's hard to put into words. Mostly it was the constant struggling with my family that pushed me to get treatment. I knew I wasn't giving my kids or my wife everything I could and I wanted to change that. With the marriage it was really hard. We got together under some pretty unfavorable circumstances and there was a good 2 years where the only thing keeping us together was our own individual refusals to accept failure. I really don't know how things would have gone if I hadn't done something.

Today it's much better, but it's still work.

Hope it helps.

[Sooz]

Originally Posted by Cactus

"is it the ADD itself that keeps him from doing something constructive about it?"

Directly- probably not. ADD doesn't stop you from recognizing or stopping self-injuring behaviour by itself. It's probably somewhere in that second layer that he's running into trouble- with shame or emabrassment over what he sees as "failings" of his. He might be thinking that he's developed enough work-around strategies and compensating mechanisms that he doesn't need to do anything more. If dealing w/ ADD in the past was painfull enough he may be quite willing to settle for "better" rather than go through the extra effort required to get his life to "good"..

I guess coupled with all his other life experiences and his ADD this is what has made him the person that he is. What is "who he is" and what part of him is the ADD? Who knows? I don't think he does. Maybe theres the fear he won't be "who he is" or it's shame or embarrasment. I don't know. It's frustrating to me. He's a very happy dude who likes the way he is. So he says on the outside. I have no idea what he says on the inside.

[Cactus]

Originally Posted by Sooz

He's a very happy dude who likes the way he is.

Lotta people would have said that about me too becasue I have a pretty cheerfull disposition and I'm usually pretty 'up', but happiness is a whole different matter.

[martineevans1]

hi there - my partner has ADHD and i met him through NA as we were both heroin/crack addicts.I read somewhere that 80% of boys with ADHD who unmedicated usually turn to drugs which in turn leads to crime due to the frustration of living with the disorder. I think Adam (my ADDer partner) resented his parents for this for a month or two as he feels that maybe he would never have got on drugs if he was given Ritaling or something when he was younger but his dad didn't want him taking drugs at such a young age. He was booted out of plenty of schools for being out of control and was isolated a lot of the time - he is on;y 24yrs old and i can understand how they wouldn't know much about it if he had of been in his 50's but i think it's terrible how those teachers broke him down and now he believes he's STUPID - but i say for him to stick his 2 fingers up at all of those nasty people who put him down as yesterday he was given a really great job (criminal justice drug outreach worker) which i am sooooo very proud of him for, he canceled the first interview as he couldn't get his presentation done (he had loads of great ideas but couldn't get them out of his head and onto paper), but fate gave him a 2nd chance and he worked hard (which wasn't easy as im sure you all know) and smashed the interview and was even told it was the best presentation they'd seen all day, he knows a few people who've been at uni for years trying to get where he is now and he didn't need to go as he went the creative way about it (one of the reasons why i love him so much - he's never boring), so i say he should stick his 2 fingers up to all those people that put him down and say "look at me, i'm not stupid, i'm a genius"
He'll be helping get drug-users off the streets and into treatment and hopefully recognise the ones with ADHD and get them additional support as alot of people who are using drugs don't even know they've got ADHD and just think they are BAD people, which isn't true, they are just people who haven't been diagnosed yet who are obviously in a lot of pain...well that's just a little bit from me and my life with Adam, and i'm sure things will get even more enjoyable when he get's his meds for his ADHD, still waiting though -it's been 4mths now - soon we hope.