Do people think you're kooky, weird or flakey?

[clueless]

I'm just wondering, because people tend to think I'm a kook. I talk too much, I have too many unconventional ideas, and I also make promises that I really want to keep but that I forget all about. My boss at work thinks I'm lazy b/c when I'm in a conversation with a co-worker I don't see customers. Meaning, I don't see them, I don't even know they're there. And I smoke about two cigarettes to four cigarettes a shift to help my concentration (and believe me, it does help so much). I find that having this disorder is incredibly frustrating to me, and I feel so misunderstood. It's getting to the point where it's hurting what self-esteem I've managed to build up over the years.

I thought I was doing really well, but then my boyfriend broke up with me b/c he said I wasn't the person he thought I was: "independent go-getter type." He doesn't know that I really want to be, it's just so damn hard to focus on a task all the way through to completion. It really hurt me that he left me and basically told me I was a loser. So not cool.

Just wondering if anyone else feels they can relate to anything I've said.

[Joyous56]

If it's any consolation...My husband left me too, because I wasn't the person he thought I was.....yep, independant. go-getter. Got-it-together type lady.

And he said he thought he never loved me to begin with. Probably because, initally, I did my best to act like...an independent, go-getter, got-it-together lady.

For that reason, and because resenting him (or me) is basically a bad way to go, I've decided to forgive both of us.....and act like myself from now on...whoever that is, or happens to be at the moment.

I am all those things....I am also vulnerable, and sensitive, and a bit unmotivated to do things I'm not interested in, even if they're good for me.

People think I'm a ditz. I don't like that. But I hold on to the idea that I'm probably smarter than they are, and maybe being a ditz is better than the alternative, whatever that might be.

[Sorceress Pol]

Yeah, I get called weirdo a lot. I don't mind too much.

[PaPa Smurf]

Poeple say I'm weird. I then proceed to tell them to kiss my *****.

[jim44]

I was reading an ADD book while flying recently. The fella next to me asked a few questions about the book and my condition, then said "You don't look crazy". My reply? "I'm not". People just don't understand.
jim

[mctavish23]

Yes, but in a "good way."

[pembroke]

weird and flakey are what people have said about me. also arrogant, rude and disinterested....whatever. i am me, and i have stopped apologinzing or trying to be what others expect of me. took long enough!

[LittleD1981]

I've been called "weird" for as long as I can remember, among other things. It doesn't bother me that much. I am different than other people in a lot of ways, but I'm me, and that's what matters, I guess.

[Pigeon]

I was recently invited to some workshops for early childhood educators. Well the ADD made it hard to concentrate at some points was worse than others.... but one time there was really bad, we had a small group disscussion and I was like not even listening... I felt so bad I couldn't even try it was so hard.

They all thought I was being flakey for a minute, but then it became "rude" because I wasn't listening at all. I work with some of them during the school year, and I just said, "I'm so sorry, I'm just having a really bad ADD day" and they laughed like I was joking... I laughed to cuz it is funny and the best way to get over it is to laugh at yourself... I faked my way through the rest of the day...

The one's who don't know I have ADD thought I was joking and the one's who knew, helped me keep focused the rest of the workshop. It's all about who you trust to understand and accept you... cuz some of them I'd never tell them I was serious, but other's I love that they are willing to help me.

Plus laughter is the best medicine so it lightened up the rest of the day for me and I didn't feel so bad for not paying attention, and had help staying focused...

[wheresmykeys]

I always laugh at my ADD messups...I only get annoyed when im have a really bad ADD few days and I just repeated screw everything up. It drives me to distraction!!!!!! I get angry at myself, but only internally noone out there knows about it.

I have never been openly considered rude for not paying attention in group discussions but when I'm asked a question and I dont know what it was its sort embarassing esp. when I don't know the people personally.

I think laughing it off is the best, it makes it seem like part of your personality rather than a flaw. Usually people will take it less seriously when you think it's funny..and really, it is! If you have that sort of sense of humor..sometimes having a whole family tearing apart the house looking for keys for half an hour when you left them in the door is worth a laugh or two:P

[bcaddkid]

Originally Posted by clueless

I have too many unconventional ideas

Since when is it considered bad to have unconventional ideas, and since when can you have "too many"? Seriously, those unconventional ideas are what are going to help you make drastic and positive changes at work...the trick is finding somewhere where your ideas will be appreciated. If it isn't the job you have now, might you consider finding another work environment that might be more appreciative of your ideas. Some of your ideas could conceivably make drastic changes, so why waste them at a company where they're unappreciated?

As for the talking to coworkers thing, it's not nearly as bad as you'd think. It's not a waste of time, it's a creative time for you and your coworkers to use to come up with new ideas. Of course, management can sometimes be blind to this.

[clueless]

Thank you so much to everyone who replied!!

Joyous, thanks for relating your positive attitude towards things of this nature. Break-up's suck, but for some reason I wouldn't let it go until I got the real answer!! And I'm glad I did, because now I know. I do come across as much more together than I am. I think I am good at most things, but I have problems being really successful. I don't do as well as I should. It hurts to have someone you thought cared about you tell you what you've always feared the most (like I didn't know-- haha, I did, but then I was honest with him about my history all along. I do have a lot of successes as well as a lot of failures).

I think it is good to just "be yourself," but to me that means so many things. I get bored easily and can be as normal and boring as you can imagine on some days, like when I'm depressed, or be as out-there and kooky as ever when I'm in a really hyper mood. Most of my friends, wonderful and supportive people who know me well, know I have a core personality that never changes, but this might be surprising to the less insightful.

Best of luck to you!

I'm going to read through the other replies to refresh my memory of what was said before I reply to them.

[clueless]

Pigeon, that sucks about your meeting!! It's always good when you have friends there who are on your side and understand, though. Some people never will, and they will be critical of that sort of thing, but then they're no fun, anyway!!

Where'smykeys, haha, I used to do the key thing all the time!! My family finally got really mad at me and refused to help anymore, and they don't care when I lose things anymore. Like, the most recent things are my glasses. Ooops!! I'm getting them replaced at the end of the month ....

[clueless]

Originally Posted by bcaddkid

Since when is it considered bad to have unconventional ideas, and since when can you have "too many"? Seriously, those unconventional ideas are what are going to help you make drastic and positive changes at work...the trick is finding somewhere where your ideas will be appreciated. If it isn't the job you have now, might you consider finding another work environment that might be more appreciative of your ideas. Some of your ideas could conceivably make drastic changes, so why waste them at a company where they're unappreciated?
As for the talking to coworkers thing, it's not nearly as bad as you'd think. It's not a waste of time, it's a creative time for you and your coworkers to use to come up with new ideas. Of course, management can sometimes be blind to this.

Bcaddkid, this is very true. Sometimes my ideas have helped, but more often (being in the restaurant business owned by a corporation, a place of habit and ritual) they aren't. This isn't going to be my actual job, though, it's just a money-making job. I am actually wanting to be a manager for musicians, and in that case I can have all the unconventional ideas I want. I can't wait to have a job where weirdness is completely accepted and even appreciated ... now if I can just get straight A's these next two semesters ...

[Scatterbrainz]

Yes, I've been called a kook and a weirdo various times in my life by my friends already and told that I need my head examined plenty of times by my family.Its second nature.