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  #61  
Old 01-24-11, 09:42 PM
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Re: Bullies

totally agree with you there.
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  #62  
Old 01-25-11, 02:08 AM
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Re: Bullies

hehe, just follow calvins example...

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1986/03/19/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1986/01/31/
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  #63  
Old 01-25-11, 07:08 PM
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Re: Bullies

[
Quote:
quote=sighduck;1011098]hehe, just follow calvins example...
nice.
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  #64  
Old 01-26-11, 04:01 AM
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Re: Bullies

calvin and hobbes is awesome

he is an adhd hero in my opinion
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  #65  
Old 01-26-11, 04:24 PM
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Re: Bullies

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Originally Posted by hypergirl96 View Post
totally agree with you there.
Thanks but I'm serious with bullies you just need to pick at insecurities or create them for that matter
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  #66  
Old 02-02-11, 12:29 AM
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Re: Bullies

I just ignore them and say ok in a very sarcastic tone. But if they get too close then I don't take their crap.

Theres two types of bullies as far as I know... the ones that are all bark and no bite... they are usually not too strong or are too scared to fight. Don't fight with them, just don't stand down, they will usually back off.

Then there are the ones that will fight and are strong enough to... then work out more or get strong friends . If you take their **** you just feed the beast.

For girls idk
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  #67  
Old 03-19-11, 06:11 PM
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Re: Bullies

I've never been bullied for my ADD because I was way too good at hiding it, which is why it took me so long to take the step of being diagnosed.
The reason I was bullied was because I was the tough girl who wouldn't take s*** from anybody (even though I was like 4 and a half feet tall in middle school), and the mean girls at my school didn't like that. I guess they felt threatened or something; to this day I have no clue why they hated me. But they spread some nasty rumors.
My advice for dealing with bullies is to never, ever stoop to their level. That way if it gets out of hand and you need to tell an adult, the bully won't have anything in their arsenal to use against you. This is really really hard for me because I have a bit of a temper, as I'm sure some of you do. But try your hardest!
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  #68  
Old 03-25-11, 02:15 AM
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Re: Bullies

Just registered but felt the need to weigh in here.

I'll try to be brief but first let me lay something out. Don't assume bullies are self conscious or doing it because they think it's "cool". That only happens in bad 80's movies. They do it because it's funny. Maybe not to you.. but it is to them. The trick is taking away the fun.


Keep in mind this does not apply to bullies that are actually physically harming you. That's a whole different situation and needs to be handled differently.


Look.. "bullies" (a term which I hate) are not successful because they are good at their game. They are successful because you're bad at their game. No amount of witty comebacks or justified complaints and rants will get them to stop.


Step 1 - Haters Gonna Hate

Even if they have a legitimate reason to be making fun of you, realize that you don't care. Do what you want and give no explanation.

While being harassed don't sit there quietly like it's not happening. That just makes it funnier. Don't try "comebacks". They're pathetic.

Laugh to yourself and respond with something to the effect of haters gonna hate, and then for the love of god.. Shut up.

Step 2 - The Only Way to Win Is Not To Play

Imagine you're playing say Call Of Duty. A game you happen to suck at. You lose and lose and lose and lose and all you can hear is trash talk from the person who is beating you. Shut off the xbox and they won't have anyone to play with. You win.

Don't play... They lose...


Simple


At first they will try harder.. Then they will quit.. After that it's up to you..

If you are an unlikeable person or you do weird and stupid things that warrant "bullying" then don't expect people to learn to like you.

Even friends will find some of the things you do 'weird'. So make friends, don't expect them.

If you're scared of making friends.. stop being scared. It all depends on what you do not what other people wont stop doing.

The worst thing you can do is complain about it. Don't "tattle" to authority figures about your situation. It only makes the game more fun.

For the love of all things holy do not act like a victim. If you act like a victim you'll be treated like a victim.

You're welcome.

PS: Of course people will still mess with you.. Every one INCLUDING "bullies" get messed with and made fun of.
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  #69  
Old 03-25-11, 02:48 AM
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Re: Bullies

being bullied sucks, God failed at making a perfect and nice world
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  #70  
Old 03-25-11, 08:39 AM
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Re: Bullies

Quote:
Originally Posted by marie-johanne View Post
What is Bullying? The word BULLYING was designed to camoflage a multitude of serious crimes. It's time to break it down, call it what it is, and begin charging the 'bullies' with those crimes!

A person who says something or does something to another person to have power over them



Types of Bullying:

(1) Verbal aggression: Name calling, taunting, threatening Harassment

(2) Making someone feel uncomfortable or scared, on purpose If they're following you to accomplish this goal, it's called STALKING. Otherwise - more harassment.

(3) Taking or damaging your personal property Criminal destruction of private property.

(4) Physical aggression: hitting, kicking, spitting, choking, punching Assault and/or attempted murder!

(5) Social exclusion: excluding someone on purpose and/or getting others to
exclude a person While not actionable, the person who does this has some pretty deep-set fears and insecurities of his/her own.

Keep a journal and let the school know what's going on. If they do nothing, take your journal to an attorney. 'Bullying' implies 'kids just bein' kids'. In this day and age - this is a dangerous attitude to have.
This is one of the best posts on bullying I've seen. You're exactly right. Constantly putting someone down and teasing them is harassment; physically attacking someone is assault. These are crimes that should be treated as such.
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  #71  
Old 03-25-11, 08:59 AM
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Re: Bullies

Quote:
Originally Posted by WangoMango View Post
Laugh to yourself and respond with something to the effect of haters gonna hate, and then for the love of god.. Shut up.

Step 2 - The Only Way to Win Is Not To Play

Imagine you're playing say Call Of Duty. A game you happen to suck at. You lose and lose and lose and lose and all you can hear is trash talk from the person who is beating you. Shut off the xbox and they won't have anyone to play with. You win.

Don't play... They lose...


Simple


At first they will try harder.. Then they will quit.. After that it's up to you..
In my experience this often just makes things worse. Very often, the bully will make it a personal challenge to get to you. They aren't stupid -- they know you are trying to ignore them and they know WHY you are trying to ignore them, and they know what you hope to accomplish by ignoring them.

Ignoring a bully typically just makes the bullying escalate, sometimes to the point of serious, dangerous physical violence. Believe me, I tried the "ignore the bully and you take his fun away" strategy when I was in high school. All it got me was a trip to the emergency room of my local hospital.

Quote:
If you are an unlikeable person or you do weird and stupid things that warrant "bullying" then don't expect people to learn to like you.
This kind of blame the victim mentality is exactly what needs to stop. "Doing weird and stupid things" does NOT WARRANT BULLYING.

Quote:
If you're scared of making friends.. stop being scared. It all depends on what you do not what other people wont stop doing.
This is not at all helpful. People with social anxiety can't just "stop being scared". This is no better than advising someone with ADHD to "just pay attention and stay focused." Advising someone with social anxiety to "just stop being scared" makes them feel even worse because they are unable to control the feelings of anxiety.

You're basically telling someone with social anxiety that it's their fault. That uninformed view needs to end.

Quote:
The worst thing you can do is complain about it. Don't "tattle" to authority figures about your situation. It only makes the game more fun.
NO. Complaining is EXACTLY what you should do. If a 30 year old gets attacked in a parking lot, would you advise her not to report it? Why should a victim not report a crime?

Quote:
For the love of all things holy do not act like a victim. If you act like a victim you'll be treated like a victim.
A victim of a bully is, indeed, a victim. If you've been bullied then you are the victim of a crime. That's exactly the way to look at it because it places the blame where it belongs -- on the bully. Your view places the blame on the victim which is a dangerous and very damaging way to look at it.
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  #72  
Old 03-25-11, 09:10 AM
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Re: Bullies

When I started high school is was bullied a bit at first. Reason? I'm pretty skinny and far from molecular and because I wasn't the most social person ever (understatement) I didn't have many friends.

I'm the last person to promote violence and absolutely hate having to use it but sometimes its the best way to get the message trough. I guess I really should thank my parents for putting me on Wing Chun at age 5. I put up with the bullies for a few months until one point I had my fill.

Sure at that time it was 4 vs 1 so yes I got my *** kicked pretty badly. Now that didn't resolve all my problems but at least they knew I wasn't going to sit there and take it. Which resulted in them not doing anything unless they where at least 4 people strong which was kind of funny.

A few months later I made a good friend (happen to do kick boxing) and all of the sudden all the bullies just kinda stopped. Even if I was alone.

I guess my advice here would be:

- Resolve things without fighting. Always try this first.
- Make friends.
- Don't start a fight. When they start fight back.
- Getting your *** kicked is fine just don't put up with them.

- Put your kids on a form of self defense from a early age. Sports are good and healthy, they learn to take and throw a punch and most of all control themselves better.
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  #73  
Old 03-25-11, 10:12 AM
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Re: Bullies

xxxxx

Last edited by Abi; 03-25-11 at 10:21 AM.. Reason: trolling the kids section is beneath me
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  #74  
Old 03-29-11, 12:56 AM
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Re: Bullies

Quote:
Originally Posted by AbsentMindProf View Post
In my experience this often just makes things worse. Very often, the bully will make it a personal challenge to get to you. They aren't stupid -- they know you are trying to ignore them and they know WHY you are trying to ignore them, and they know what you hope to accomplish by ignoring them.

Ignoring a bully typically just makes the bullying escalate, sometimes to the point of serious, dangerous physical violence. Believe me, I tried the "ignore the bully and you take his fun away" strategy when I was in high school. All it got me was a trip to the emergency room of my local hospital.



This kind of blame the victim mentality is exactly what needs to stop. "Doing weird and stupid things" does NOT WARRANT BULLYING.



This is not at all helpful. People with social anxiety can't just "stop being scared". This is no better than advising someone with ADHD to "just pay attention and stay focused." Advising someone with social anxiety to "just stop being scared" makes them feel even worse because they are unable to control the feelings of anxiety.

You're basically telling someone with social anxiety that it's their fault. That uninformed view needs to end.



NO. Complaining is EXACTLY what you should do. If a 30 year old gets attacked in a parking lot, would you advise her not to report it? Why should a victim not report a crime?
**** man. What crime? You got your feelings hurt. You weren't attacked. The 30 year old should report it. Preferably to the police.. Who should then take care of it. Physical abuse is a whole other level of being bullied. I said that at the beginning of my post.


Quote:
A victim of a bully is, indeed, a victim. If you've been bullied then you are the victim of a crime. That's exactly the way to look at it because it places the blame where it belongs -- on the bully. Your view places the blame on the victim which is a dangerous and very damaging way to look at it.
You are a lady.

I never said the word ignore. I'm suggesting something entirely different.

Insults are only insulting so long as you are insulted. If you just ignore the
"bully" they'll still know that these actions "hurt" you. It will continue.

Now what I'm suggesting is entirely different.

You're feelings and emotions are not genetically hardwired and you are not required to pay them a single ounce of attention. So don't. Bam, the bully doesn't matter anymore because you now have an indestructible shield of not giving a ****. They hit you physically? Tell someone bigger. Hit him harder.

But fine. You can be sad and sorry for yourself. It doesn't change the fact that you only have two options. Hit them. Make them irrelevant. Any other solution is temporary and you will be bullied again. Maybe not by the same people. But it will happen again.

What you're getting bullied for... It's probably funny. Not to you. But to every one else.. It's usually pretty damn funny.

Weird and stupid things do warrant "bullying". It's not right, every one knows that. But it doesn't change the fact that jokes at others expense are funny. Always. There are no victims to blame. You're not a victim. You're easy prey. So stop being so easy. We all know the "bully" is wrong. But the bully doesn't care. You do. Stop being such a ***** and win. You can't win? Start.

You know what kind of attitude needs to stop? The "I'M THE VICTIM!" attitude. You're not a victim. You're just not good enough. So be better. You're the only reason you're still a victim.

Having social anxiety is much different from being scared of making friends. Anxiety to that degree is a medical condition which is completely different. Being scared of making new friends and having a low self esteem is not. If you don't make friends it's your fault.

If you have such sever anxiety you probably shouldn't be involved in socially heavy activities until you're ready for it anyways. In which case it's still your decision and any bullying or harassment is directly up to you to deal with. There's no other way. No one will hold your hand. Who could?

People think you're weird and they just don't "understand" you?
Come on? So they're just supposed to immediately understand everything about you without any sort of explanation as to "who" you really are?



You're not a victim of a crime. You just suck. So stop sucking. Or is that something you cant help either? If it is.

Have fun being sorry for yourself.
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  #75  
Old 03-29-11, 01:37 AM
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Angry Re: Bullies

Ok, tell me this, I was bullied for about 3 years. I has just been forced to change schools causing me to go away from all my friends. I had been falsely accused of "sexual touching" of another student at my earlier school, my mom was suspended with pay for about 3 months for slaping a woman to escape being trapped in a room.

I whent to my new school knowing few people, angry at life, and having a short temper. My first friend I made was abusive, he became an enemy, others started taking advantage of my short temper and small geeky body knowing I couldn't really fight back. I found out later that I have borderline Aspbergers. because of this abuse I isolated myself having no friends at all until early mid grade 10. I'm only now (this summer it will be 4 years since I last whet to school with my friends) making friends again.

If you read what you said, this was ALL my fault.

Tell me, how was this my fault? How could I stop "sucking"?
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