Recovery

[SObearCAL]

Hey, folks... I know you're out there

This forum should have a "recovery" thread for sober folks (and occasionally sober folks) to talk about the *ahem* unique combination of issues faced when recovering from substance abuse and getting through life with ADD.

Issues like: Do you get flack from your 12-step groups because of meds? What about your sponsor?

Do you think "If I just worked a better program, my ADD symptoms would go away"

or "I'm terrified to go on meds because I was such a pill-freak when I was out there"

or "Does this mean I actually am terminally unique?"

My personal favorite: "They just took away my Big Book thumper card because I know several brand-name medicines by name! What do I do?"

Success stories are also a great way to share:

"Now that I'm getting some help for my ADD, I've actually sat down and written a fourth step"

"I actually sat through a whole meeting"

"I made a comittment to (call someone, make coffee, give a birthday cake / anniversary pitch) and remembered!"

Let's see if we can make this happen.

[waywardclam]

Ok, I am not in a 12 step program, but I want to comment here if you don't mind...

I have been in them before, and have relatives in several, and I see a HUGE similarity between ADD people and Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Is this just me? Is it just that the people I know happen to be in both categories, or does anyone else see this?

[joanrdtobe]

True....Adult Children of Alcoholics, the program, is actually a section of alanon....Alanon is for family members of alcoholics....ACOA addresses the children of alcoholics specifically.....And I think if they look, many ADD'ers might find the possibility of alcoholism in their families...or other addictions.....very common.....

I've been in alanon for years having grown up in an alcoholic home -- (my father is the main alcoholic and my sister and brother are both in recovery; my father is not)......I REALLY saw the progression of alcoholism in my father this weekend.....I went home to Boston to attend a family wedding.....flying back tomorrow....and oh my God -- does alcoohlism progress as AA and alanon says it does....

My father couldn't take a walk with the family on Saturday afternoon and he also fell....NEVER saw this in my life....

Anyway, thanks Sobearcal for starting this thread.....

For me I KNOW after having gone on ADD meds, not only can I sit through an entire meeting I can actually stay long enough to talk to people afterwards....I used to have to run out right after the meeting ended...sometimes before the final prayer....

And get this? I have the patience to do SERVICE work...it's less scarey....I was a group rep once....

and occasionally I will get to a meeting early and just sit there....although this one is still tough for me....

[SObearCAL]

Wow. That's a heavy story, joanrdtobe. Alcoholism is just persistent. I bet you'll enjoy the flight home! .

Being Alanon, did you find you were missing the "excitement" when you started working a program? For me, as a drunk, it was primarily the excitement I was after, the danger, wanting to be where it was all happening, etc. That didn't go away when I sobered up, but has tempered (some) since I've started getting treatment for ADD. I've heard from some Alanons that they felt a "rush" from the chaos and crises of life with an alcoholic. Did you have any of those experiences?

[joanrdtobe]

Yes, a total rush...adrenaline running....the next problem to "fix", the crisis to get through....even family fights did it for me...how messed up is that? Yes I'm a definite excitement junkie.... because I'm amidst alcoholism but ALSO because ADD'ERS crave tons of excitement, stimulation anyway...so it's a double whammy.....

And no my attractiveness to excitement has not gone totally away either....I mean adrenaline is adrenaline and it feels good...but I would say tempered describes it well....

Congrats on your sobriety Sobearcal....Your wife or girlfriend must be pleased....is she in alanon?

[SObearCAL]

Nope. Boy met girl on AA campus, as the saying goes . So while we both qualify (about 14 ways to Sunday, mind you), we make it there rarely. We were both very early on in recovery when we got married, so we spent the first couple of years alternating who was fixing who. It's been 7 1/2 years now, though, and much of that has dwindled away with time and experience. It can still be high drama at times, but those times last less time and are less frequent.

WooHoo! Glad there's some interest in the topic

[joanrdtobe]

No kidding. you all met in AA....

Yes much interest here.....in fact without breaking any anonymities, I know of one other sober alcoholic here on forums and one other person in alanon...that's what I know of, there may be more....

Yes looking forward to flying back to Florida today...I can only take my father (and my mom for that matter....) in small dosages....although I do love them both.....Funny thing is when he's sober, he's a delight to be around....sigh.....

[SObearCAL]

Originally posted by joanrdtobe
Yes much interest here.....in fact without breaking any anonymities, I know of one other sober alcoholic here on forums and one other person in alanon...that's what I know of, there may be more....

Outstanding! Bring 'em on in...

Oh, and *Bump*

[joanrdtobe]

Tell you what Sobearcal, I'll PM both of them and tell them about this thread you started and ask them if they've seen it......

[Lafnalot]

Do I get any extra points if I have been to all the 12 step groups at one time or another? Or does that mean I have to do extra steps?

[Wheel1975]

I self medicated with Pepsi and Chocolate.

I'm in alanon, not AA but...

there is nothing in AA that says "do not take drugs you need for other medical conditions." Anyone who claims otherwise is badly misguided.

You are the ONLY ONE who needs to explore the REASON you take other drugs, and how much, and under what guidenace. i know it is ESAIER to have a "none" rule, but it is no closer to the gaol of AA of appropriate behavior.

Tell them, if they don't understand, to work their own program and to go to alanon where they learn to stay out of other peoples programs. (Yes that is tellling you and them what to do, but working your own program may be the exception that proves the rule. In any case, you only get to tell them once, not harp or nag.///

Good luck, You have a tough path to walk. Regarrdless, i have faith in your honesty and perception. Besides, you know ADD is real. they don't. How much can you hold their ignorance agaisnt them? consider to Leave them to God.

Besides, other conditions, like ADD, aren't really part of the mission of AA. Stick to conference approved litereature and the focus of the program in AA, seek the other assistance you need elsewhere. (Like I can tell you that, because you are already doing it!)

All in My humble opinion, and not actually recommending any specific actions to take....

[SObearCAL]

Originally posted by Lafnalot
Do I get any extra points if I have been to all the 12 step groups at one time or another? Or does that mean I have to do extra steps?

Sounds like the beginnings of some zany mis-adventures, personally. "What meeting is this? Over what am I powerless today?" Makes for long introductions, though.

[Lafnalot]

Hi Im Crissy and Im addicted to ******* everything..................

[ferrette1976]

SObearCAL-

I was wondering what made you realize that you have a problem.

I find myself self-medicating with alcohol and food. I try not to keep the stuff in the house (alcohol, not food ). I seem to be okay having a couple of drinks in a restaurant, but if I have stuff at home, I often don't know when to say when. It is just too easy to go back for a refill. I am often depressed (which is a whole other thread!). I think that I drink to numb those feelings.

I am 27 and I don't want to ruin my life. What do you think? Do I have a problem? I am not a falling down drunk. I hold down a good job, own a home, I am happily married.

I think I am more afraid about what that would mean if I did have a problem, you know? That I can't go out to a bar with friends, what do I do at family functions?- where there is always alcohol. My hubby is really into beer. I live in Wisconsin - you can't go anywhere without there being alcohol involved. So, as you can see, more than anything in the world I want to be able to say that I do not have a problem.

I wonder if I am in denial.

[SObearCAL]

Originally posted by ferrette1976
I was wondering what made you realize that you have a problem.

I knew I had a "problem" about the first time I had a beer. It was Busch Light. That an otherwise educated young man would debase his palate so is call for alarm in my book

Or not... Actually, my Dad got sober when I was 10. I attended "Family Week" at his re-hab and got a good lesson in alcoholism. After I tossed back that first one and felt the effects, I knew I could either stop right there or see it through. Eight years later I was to a point where I could no longer live with the stuff nor without it.

I wonder if I am in denial.

I once heard a story about someone who lived in a dumpster. This person's father had come to find him, and ask him to come home. The response was "No thanks, I'm not that bad off". According to the story, the father turned around and went home. That's denial.