need to awaken

[fogleghorn]

I am not sure if this goes to this area but here goes. I have been doing some thinking about the affect of ADD and Alcoholism and how it plays into my life. I think that i have had ADD all my life, mind wandering,etc. I guess that I need to just spit it out. I am feeling trapped into my own little world and constantly looking for some sanity. Feeling like an Entitty rather than a person. I know that i am living because days go by, but, to feel that I am living.

I think from my childhood (fear based) i have created my own little world and have not broken out of it yet, but I am afraid of dying before i can see that world like most people. I am 55 and feel like I have no clue about what is going on with or arounnd me. I have self diagnosed innattentive ADD. I have 21 yrs sober but have been smoking pot for about 1 year . any insight will be great

[Joyous56]

Why have you not yet gone to get a diagnosis?

[fogleghorn]

Joyous i have went to a a Pyschiatrist for depression and told her that I wanted to be . I told her that I have done some research and told her what i had learned about ADD so she gave me strattera. I dont know if that counts

[Ian]

Looking inward is probably the most difficult thing any human does. Learning about yourself, what's important to you, what's essencial and how to set goals to meet those needs are all part of how I've come to be part of the world around me.

It's still growing and requires that I practise.

The long and short of it is that I don't think anyone has been able to affect those most important steps for me. I've had to seek them myself. I use meditation, the support of places like this and running to keep me going along in a positive direction.

If you've identified that coming out of a safer place and pushing out of your comfort zone is what you want, then you've made a very important first step. Awareness is the first step.

How would you see yourself breaking out?
Ian