The Battle Of My Life, Please Help

[velvetrevolver]

Hello,

I'm 25 years old and have suffered from Depression, Anxiety, and a specific type of ADD for 11 years now. I have been to all kinds of doctors and even flew 4 states away to have a SPECT scan performed, but I have never recovered from them to this day. I have tried very hard to find the right medication combination that will work for me, because I know that is my major problem. After research and experience I know that is my main issue. It seems like no doctor in the world can figure my case out and find the right medication combination so that I can finely recover.

Because of my meds situation I have to live with my parents and work a dead end job that doesn't require much brain activity. I've had to watch my parents suffer by watching me suffer and I feel so bad about that. They have both developed depression because of my life and period of time I have been sick. It's to the point where I don't want to get out of bed because it's a never ending medication battle. I wish I could find like a medication expert who knows about SPECT studies. If Dr. Amen was still seeing patients I would save all my money that I make at the gas station just to get him as my doctor.

It wouldn't be so bad, but I have tried a ton of medication combinations. Right now I am on Klonopin, Anafranil, and Provigil. I have ADD that affects my temporal lobes, which seizure medication is usually effective for. Since the Klonopin is the only thing that works for my anxiety, so I have to use it for ADD. The Anafranil works so so for my depression and the Provigil which works for giving me the ability to wake up in the morning.

If you read this message please tell someone else that you know if they might have the same type of ADD as me or you think they know a lot about medication combinations and the SPECT scans.

[Mee]

Have you ever gone completly drug free for a year .. chances most of your problems are side effects from drugs at this point ..

[scuro]

Originally Posted by Mee

Have you ever gone completly drug free for a year .. chances most of your problems are side effects from drugs at this point ..

"Dr". Mee gives another 2 second diagnosis. Although there is always a small possibility that Mee is correct I'd never do that unless my Dr. agreed this was the best option. Are you happy with your Dr., if not, consider seeing a second specialist. Has anyone taken a serious look at your history to see which disorder came first? Treat the primary problem. There are anxiety clinics that deal specifically with anxiety. Anxiety can be a learned behaviour and can be unlearned to a degree or at least to a point where you can cope with it.

[Mee]

scuro you seem a little angry ..............

I did not suggest he go off the meds I just asked if he had , got it .

I find that peole who are on lots of different drugs for behavior problems like anxiedy end up suffering from the side effects of the drugs more after awhile than the original disorder .

I find that when people make a decition to go off meds they actualy get better if they can stay off of them for about 18 months . The body learns to deal with things and no rely on the drugs and you start to develp skills to live drug free , it takes a lot of work and most peole do not believe they can do it or have the propper support groups .

The anxiety clinic is a grat idea !

velvetrevolver if you are taking a benzo like Klonopin daily it will make your anxiety much worse that it was before you started . Klonopin is a benzo and a nasty one at that it should be used to get you through a rough period for a week or two but not long term . Go to

http://www.benzo.org.uk/ and register for the private forum and you will learn all about anxiety and how to deal with it from a great group of people also find out how to safely stop taking Klonopin (you will learn things at that forum that you can take to your Dr. and ask him about ) Most Dr.'s are clueless when it comes to Benzo problems especially Klonopin .

velvetrevolver do yourself a favor get on that forum and learn about Klonopin ..

[dbr2]

"IMPORTANT NOTICE: Any advice given on this site should not be substituted for the advice of a physician who is well-informed about benzodiazepine addiction and withdrawal. All advice given here is therefore to be followed at your own risk. You are advised never to stop taking any medication abruptly."

That's from the site Mee referenced. I couldn't say it better. Always talk to a physician before stopping a benodiazepine.

[livinginchaos]

Originally Posted by velvetrevolver

Hello,

I'm 25 years old and have suffered from Depression, Anxiety, and a specific type of ADD for 11 years now. I have been to all kinds of doctors and even flew 4 states away to have a SPECT scan performed, but I have never recovered from them to this day. I have tried very hard to find the right medication combination that will work for me, because I know that is my major problem. After research and experience I know that is my main issue. It seems like no doctor in the world can figure my case out and find the right medication combination so that I can finely recover.

Because of my meds situation I have to live with my parents and work a dead end job that doesn't require much brain activity. I've had to watch my parents suffer by watching me suffer and I feel so bad about that. They have both developed depression because of my life and period of time I have been sick. It's to the point where I don't want to get out of bed because it's a never ending medication battle. I wish I could find like a medication expert who knows about SPECT studies. If Dr. Amen was still seeing patients I would save all my money that I make at the gas station just to get him as my doctor.

It wouldn't be so bad, but I have tried a ton of medication combinations. Right now I am on Klonopin, Anafranil, and Provigil. I have ADD that affects my temporal lobes, which seizure medication is usually effective for. Since the Klonopin is the only thing that works for my anxiety, so I have to use it for ADD. The Anafranil works so so for my depression and the Provigil which works for giving me the ability to wake up in the morning.

If you read this message please tell someone else that you know if they might have the same type of ADD as me or you think they know a lot about medication combinations and the SPECT scans.

I wish I could give you suggestions or ideas about med combos and SPECT scans and the type of ADD you have.

My little input amounts to:
I agree with scuro. If you're not happy with your doc, perhaps it's time to check out a different one.

Best wishes to you, velvetrevolver!
We have so many members, I would think there are others who could have some (med and ADD type/SPECT) suggestions for you.

[velvetrevolver]

First of all, thank you Mee for your information on benzodiazapines. I have been off of all my medications before and my problems are actually a lot worse. I know some people don't support taking medicine, but if it wasn't for medication I wouldn't be alive today.

I only take three medications and that is because I have three different disorders. I agree that some medications can cause problems and if prescribed wrong can lead to more problems than actual benefit. I thank all of you for your valuable input.

Sincerely,
Brandon

[scuro]

If it were me, I'd look back at my report cards. Your High School should still have your student records. Go back and read all the teacher comments. What did they see in you when you were in Kindergarten? Were the observations consistent through school? Document this. For each grade record marks, days absent, academic comments, and behavioural comments. Look at other possible sources of info also like your parents...or did you have counselling?

If nothing else this will give you a better understanding of who you are. But, in doing this, you will most likely see a clear pattern of what is the primary problem(s) and what came afterwards.

Here are some possibilities to consider, a)has this been Depression all along, b)did the the depression and anxiety come because you had ADHD c)is the ADHD a correct diagnosis or do your symptoms from anxiety/ depression just look like ADHD d)other possibilities?

If ADHD was/is the primary problem, I'd have to ask why you are not taking a drug that is more commonly prescribed for ADHD, specifically stimulants? Dr. Amen is doing his own this and his results have yet to be widely replicated in the scientific community.

Don't despair ...you are traveling down a road that has been well traveled. Folks on the board will help, if they can.

[Mee]

If it were me, I'd look back at my report cards. Your High School should still have your student records. Go back and read all the teacher comments. What did they see in you when you were in Kindergarten? Were the observations consistent through school? Document this. For each grade record marks, days absent, academic comments, and behavioural comments. Look at other possible sources of info also like your parents...or did you have counselling?

This make a lot of sense ... my mom did not save the stuff and the school does not have it . I could not even get my records when I was treated for ADD as a kid becuase it is so far back . Again If you have access to all of this I would agree this is on of the most valuable tools you could ever have in understanding who you are and what you should work on . I have heard it said that our personalities are very much formed at a young age .

[scuro]

In our area they are supposed to keep your school record for I believe, 20-30 years.

[beccablue]

Hang in there. I also have my own little corner of the DSM - IV and have been on many different combinations of meds [i stopped counting at 20]. it's difficult but not hopeless. i would go to the psychiatrist, relay my symptoms, [sadly sometimes i would call and cry and scream - i had nearly constant panic attacks] try a different med, get kinda sick to unbearable sick, then go back change another med etc. until i just didn't want to do it anymore. i also spent a year med free. nothing helped.

i lost jobs, got into debt, & basically had a lot of trouble taking care of myself. i moved back in with my parents - and yeah, it has been hard for them because they desperately wanted to fix it for me and couldn't. don't worry about your parents - it only brings an unnecessary cycle of anxiety. i had a long talk with my parents about that. they became anxious about me then i became more anxious about their anxiety. in fact, i get my depression & anxiety from my father but i had to accept that he has to deal with his own problems. he can't fix mine. i can't fix his. but we try to be supportive.

i lived with them and worked dead end jobs for several years until i got my anxiety & depression under control. then i worked steadily, paid off my debts, & moved out to go to law school.

i'd been complaining about concentration problems to psychiatrists from the beginning of treatment but they hadn't been able to address it & i was tired of messing w/meds so i figured i'd just deal with it & maybe it would improve when i started studying something interesting. well i love law but i still couldn't concentrate so i went to the school psychologist who diagnosed me with ADD. apparently not many adult psychiatrists are familiar with it so nobody ever caught it - even though in hindsight it is pretty obvious.

so i am trying new combinations of meds & although it is uncomfortable & sometimes discouraging, i understand that it is rare to get it right on the first try. so i just keep trying.

if you hang in there it will get better. do some careful doctor shopping. ask about your doctor's experience in diagnosing & treating different disorders. bring all the info you can. SPECT, report cards whatever. at various times, i have kept a journal chronicaling how i felt w/each med or dose change. that helped too.

i also did cognitive behavior therapy at menninger's (noticed you are in KS) cuz they had sliding scale therapy. think menniger's moved to TX though, but there are several places to get relatively cheap therapy.

if you hang in there, it can get much better.