ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Relationships & Social Issues
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-17-05, 10:21 AM
Keppig's Avatar
Keppig Keppig is offline
Forum ADDvocate

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Manchester, NH
Posts: 1,309
Thanks: 0
Thanked 148 Times in 23 Posts
Keppig has disabled reputation
Post What Do Men Find Romantic - ADDer comments

Saw this article and if its true this is really a great way to know what to do. Men, how much of this is on target and do you have anything to add?

What Do Men Find Romantic?
By Sara Eckel

When it comes to romance, guys get a bad rap. The conventional wisdom is that they are an unromantic bunch, who'd rather chug a beer in front of the TV than sip champagne by candlelight. But men can be just as romantic as women, though they often express it in different ways. With the help of Matthew Milner, founder of, we've uncovered just what makes men swoon. Below, GuyCritical's panelists, who answer women's relationship questions on the site, bare their souls. Relationship experts Bruce Weinstein, Ph.D, author of What Should I Do? 4 Simple Steps to Making Better Decisions in Everyday Life (Perigee/Penguin Putnam), and Michael Webb, founder, offer additional insights.

1. Compliments.

The quickest path to a man's heart is through his ego. "The other day, my lady told me she thought I was sexy. That was so cool! I'd never heard that before and it blew me away!" says a schoolteacher from Chicago. A political consultant from Washington, D.C. agrees: "The most romantic thing in the world is for you to be in awe of your man's skills -- whether it's his ability to make people laugh, perform at sports, fix things, or retrieve and display esoteric knowledge. Let him wow you," he says.

2. Dark chocolate.

"Milk chocolate is for kids. Dark chocolate is for lovers," says Weinstein, who explains that dark chocolate has a higher percentage of cocoa, which means it has more phenylethylamine, a chemical that mimics the feeling you have when you're in love.

3. Hard-to-find gifts.

Is his college sweatshirt so faded you can't decipher the name of his alma mater? Is he mourning the loss of a rare comic book that his mother threw away when he left home? Does he collect antique hood ornaments? Webb says that a gift that requires some effort is sure to be a big hit with your guy. "Men and women tend to express love differently. Women are usually the more nurturing types and tend to think of romance in terms of 'soft touches' while men express love in more practical ways," says Webb.

4. You, in his clothes.

"Come to the dinner table wearing nothing but his button-down dress shirt. Now that's romance!" says an artist from Boston.

5. Funny movies.

"A lot of people say that shared values or goals are what make a relationship work," says Weinstein. "But to me it's a shared sense of humor. If you like the Marx Brothers and your date doesn't, then it's simply not going to work," he says. "When you can find someone to laugh with, then you know you're really connecting."

6. A great memory.

A picture really does paint a thousand words -- especially if it's of the two of you tanned and glowing at a beachside resort. "I went to my girlfriend's office and saw that she had a picture of us on vacation in Cancun," says a Seattle construction worker. "Little things like that just make you feel great."

7. An old-fashioned night on the town.

A publisher in New York says that he isn't a huge romantic, but he admits that the rotating dance floor at the Rainbow Room makes him pretty gooey. "You're surrounded by well-dressed couples of all ages who know how to dance. This gives the effect of being in a romantic movie about old New York. Plus, it's a little disorienting with all that spinning around, which puts you in a dreamlike state," he says.

8. Tall buildings.

Because in general guys just like big stuff. But also because taking in such a huge view can put life into perspective. "The tremendous view of the city with all its lights is not only awesome in its own right, but accentuates the essential smallness of the individual person," says a Chicago attorney. "Thus humbled, it is most comforting to realize, at that instant, you're not alone in the world."

9. Surprise intimacy.

Whether it's an unexpected kiss or an afternoon jaunt to the bedroom, men swoon when women say "Come hither." "We like surprises -- like when you initiate sex at odd times, or rent a room in the middle of the day. We also like beaches, bed-and-breakfasts, and when you squeeze our thigh at a snooty dinner party. Oh, and baths. We like bubble baths," says a writer from New York.

10. P.S. I love you.

They may not always admit it, but many men report that they love getting affectionate little notes. "I particularly like finding a note in my suitcase when unpacking on a business trip," says an executive from Dallas. Weinstein agrees. He loves getting a surprise note or email with an affectionate message, and says that a "p.s." increases the charm. "There's something about the p.s. that people respond to. It reminds us of when we were at camp and our mom wrote. P.S. I love you, or the note our high-school sweetheart stuffed into our locker."
New Hampshire
Regional Forum Leader
Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-05, 07:58 PM
william tell william tell is offline

Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 884
Thanks: 0
Thanked 17 Times in 3 Posts
william tell can only hope to improve
Yes , that would work on me ,so would a single rose delivered to work ,not a dozen just 1 and a note
Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-05, 08:11 PM
Nucking_Futs's Avatar
Nucking_Futs Nucking_Futs is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate

Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 7,573
Thanks: 5
Thanked 44 Times in 36 Posts
Nucking_Futs has a spectacular aura aboutNucking_Futs has a spectacular aura about
My poor husbands self esteem is so low that when I tell him he's sexy or am in awe of something he does...he thinks I'm yanking his chain. One of these days I'll beat it into his head he's one sexy, talented man in my eyes and that's all that matters.
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, "WOW! What a ride!!"

Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 11-20-05, 10:00 PM
Crazygirl79 Crazygirl79 is offline

Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,795
Blog Entries: 3
Thanks: 5,871
Thanked 1,995 Times in 1,112 Posts
Crazygirl79 has a reputation beyond reputeCrazygirl79 has a reputation beyond reputeCrazygirl79 has a reputation beyond reputeCrazygirl79 has a reputation beyond reputeCrazygirl79 has a reputation beyond reputeCrazygirl79 has a reputation beyond reputeCrazygirl79 has a reputation beyond reputeCrazygirl79 has a reputation beyond reputeCrazygirl79 has a reputation beyond reputeCrazygirl79 has a reputation beyond reputeCrazygirl79 has a reputation beyond repute

Recently I apparently flattered someone with a letter...(yes I like them but timing is wrong as his partner died a few months ago)

It said things along the line of "when I see you the sun just shines so much brighter" and when I look up in the sky at night I see lots of stars and the biggest and most brightest one reminds me of you"

Saying things like that can bring a beautiful big smile to someones dial and it's not too full on like "I love you with all my heart" or "I'm watching you" as those sort of lines can be very off putting and a little scary.

If you have a crush on someone but you aren't in a relationship with them you could slip a small note saying something like "Your father must have been a thief as he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes" may work for some.
Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-05, 10:10 PM
speedo's Avatar
speedo speedo is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate

Join Date: May 2005
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 4,458
Thanks: 54
Thanked 515 Times in 286 Posts
speedo has much to be proud ofspeedo has much to be proud ofspeedo has much to be proud ofspeedo has much to be proud ofspeedo has much to be proud ofspeedo has much to be proud ofspeedo has much to be proud ofspeedo has much to be proud ofspeedo has much to be proud ofspeedo has much to be proud of
keppig that is so right on the button!

My ex used to sometimes wear my flannel shirts in a very risque way. I thought it was so seductive. She sometimes wore my t-shirts as a nightgown .. I thought it was so sexy...

There is a lot more but too explicit for a publuc forum..

ADHD.... It's not just for kids anymore...
It all seems impressive when you don't know what it means. (H. Rickey, 1987)
"Aye yam what aye yam." (Popeye)
"Sig personnas illegitum non carborundum." (unknown)
The computer lets you make more mistakes faster, with the exception of tequila and a handgun. (M. Radcliffe)
Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-05, 12:15 AM
Jaycee's Avatar
Jaycee Jaycee is offline

Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 362
Thanks: 9
Thanked 28 Times in 20 Posts
Jaycee has disabled reputation
I find that an occasional note put in my hubbby's pocket is great. When he goes on business trips I always try to include at least one. His favorites are the slightly risque poems I've written for him... Those always get me an immediate phone call when he finds them.
Everybody is somebody else's wierdo.

Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-05, 10:04 PM
Gourmet Gourmet is offline
Forum ADDvocate

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 1,392
Thanks: 0
Thanked 15 Times in 8 Posts
Gourmet is on a distinguished road
Jaycee......cute idea! Risque poems. I know someone who just might like that. the article.
Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-05, 05:52 AM
ADDMuscle ADDMuscle is offline
Jr Member

Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Sweden
Posts: 21
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
ADDMuscle is on a distinguished road
It's awesome if the girl has done something for you which is annoying to do. Like if she does the dishes or similar. And even more awesome is when you are completly tired after a day and you can come to a nurturing woman who'll take care of you. =) Like giving a massage, taking a hot bath/shower and she cleans you gently with the soap and kisses and caresses you. You know, reducing stress. Remember this one alof because the girl was all stressed out and after a while she was purring like a cat. =) It would be cool to get the same sometime from a girl.
Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-05, 12:41 PM
CollegeADHD CollegeADHD is offline

Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Georgia/ school in North Carolina
Posts: 36
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
CollegeADHD is on a distinguished road
Those are true except for 7 and 8. 8 is true for some, not for others, but I'm pretty sure Sara Eckel forgot she was talking about guys and not girls on number 7.
Take everything I say very lightly...I'm rarely serious
Reply With Quote


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Blink Nova General ADD Talk 9 08-19-06 09:46 AM
Can you hear the flower sing? Issues for gifted adults Nova General ADD Talk 17 10-04-05 10:13 PM
New to life with an ADDer: HELP Lopiney Non-ADD Partner Support 36 09-24-05 01:40 PM
Men do have trouble hearing women, scientists find Andrew ADD News 4 08-09-05 06:02 PM
Reference For Local Doctors Draga California 2 07-17-05 03:54 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:44 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums