Shopping for a soul mate… Aisle Two!

[Lithium Baby]

Shopping for a soul mate… Aisle Two!

So I’m single again and haphazardly looking for that special "someone". Being from a small town where the only options are

2. go out to eat
3. go to a movie
4. go get drunk in one of the many small dive bars

the options are limited in meeting a woman that one would want to take home to mother. Naturally, more matronly women that I work with say "Go to church to find you a good woman." And sure enough, I guess I could, *

*

* So logically, the next bit of advice from the matronly members "You could always find a woman at the grocery store." Now, this advice always set wrong with me but I could never put my finger on the why not… tonight I know why.

Forget that its around nine p.m. on a Saturday night. Forget that the only clothes that I had clean since laundry day isn’t till Sunday is in fact my Sunday or Saturday night (depending on the occasion) best *

So I am at the local grocery store in my Sunday best doing the shopping on a Saturday night. Yes, yes, the loser quota just went up. Add in to the fact that maybe, just maybe, I had passed my ex’s car along the way. Naturally my mind was focused on that and not on the reality of the insignificant task I was heading to take care of. This point means so very much more later on.

I thought about the matronly advice so as I was shopping, mindlessly picking up the things on my list, I was eyeballing the aisle for potential mates. None proved worth my wild so I made my way to the check out. Even the check out woman was older and haggard. Not my night to find love. I was four or five people deep in line, disheartened, and just wanting to get out of there when I hear "Christie, to the register." What luck! Another check out lane was to open up and I was in a strategic position to block off those in front of me and those behind me to get to whatever aisle was to open up. I wasn’t getting laid tonight but I was getting that victory and it was enough! (Again, loser quota, I know! Dammit I know!)

Out of no where came this pretty, petite, young, blonde and I was the first to be in her lane (never thought I would say that phrase in this lack of chastity society). Having the accomplishment of my strategic placement in line stuck in my head, I forgot all about it being a Saturday night around nine p.m., me in my Sunday best, and stuck in a grocery store. Also, I had forgotten what I was buying till that moment.

With a line of ****ed off individuals behind me having just been robbed of a meaningless victory, and her standing in front of me politely impatient to get back to whatever she was doing before this line of losers pulled her away, there was no turning back. So there I was, with this shopping list:

2. Toilet Paper – Deluxe Size (It was on sale dammit!)
3. Air Freshener (Not for the above reason but you are getting a mental picture)
4. All purpose Vitamins – Diet Wise (two bottles, again on sale)
5. Poweraide (Like Gatorade but better because it has Vitamin B)
6. Hershey Kisses (For my mom to regulate her blood sugar as she is a diabetic)
7. Immodium Advance (For the day after a hangover run for the bathroom)

All innocent items but when grouped like this, in front of a woman that doesn’t know you… yeah. I was mortified! If she were to be the soul mate that would bear my children, this would not be the chance encounter that I would want her to remember!

So on this night I learned many things, 1. Laugh in the face of adversity (because there is nothing left to do when you have no more t.p. to wipe up your pride with), 2. Know what you are buying before, during and after if you are hoping for a chance encounter with love, and 3. Finding love in a grocery store tends to be out of stock. Just so you know.

[Nova]

Funny story, Lith !

Soul mates, to me, only means encountering other human beings who pass through in our lives, at one time or another, to help us evolve, spiritually.

Nothing more than that.


But I'm certain, there are plenty o' cute Chickie Poos, who are right for you, so don't ever quit trying. It'll be a da*ned shame if you did ! (0:

[ms_sunshine]

at least you weren't also buying condoms AND feminine hygiene products.

[Nova]

We're just trying to makin' ya grin, Lith.

You could've bought rrrrrrrrreallly cheap beer/boxed wine, too and forgot about them being in your cart..while chatting about a perspective date with
this gal. (0;


Nova

[Tater]

I have to say it was in interesting story. Sorry about you recently becoming single again. Good last line, very punny

[~boots~]

LOL...so..will you go back in and ask her out???