Moving for a Job/Leaving Friendsa and Family

[pittguy578]

Anyone else here moved away from friends and family? I am not considering moving that far, about 300 miles, but I don't know anyone in the place I am going. I would be with the same company, just in a better position..

Anyone done this before? How did you fare?
Did you regret it?

I am torn. It would be a better opportunity, but I am not sure if it is worth sacrificing friends and family for it. I am torn!

Jim

[chameleon]

To me, family is so important. But sometimes you have to spread your wings and fly.

If you do move, you'll still have us!

[chloe516]

I moved 100 miles away from my family and friends for a job. It has been hard, but I am able to visit and I am making friends in my new area.

Best of luck whatever you decide. I'm sure neither option would be easy to chose!

[chameleon]

I always think, "Will I regret it later if I don't do it? Will I always wonder 'what if'?".
What would your answer be to those questions Pittguy?

[pittguy578]

You know what! I am starting to have panic attacks this weekend and have become seriously down about this prospect I am not sure why it can swing so much, but it has been pretty constant since Friday night. My fight with depression was pretty much under control until this weekend, but it has reared it's ugly head.

[pittguy578]

I wanted to clarify. I suffer from anxiety all the time. My depression comes and goes. This is the most down I have felt in a while. Usually with a workout it goes away, but it's the kind of down where I don't want to get out of bed and the anxiety is paralyzing me.. This really sucks!

[chloe516]

I hope you get your anxiety and depression over this move managed and figure out what's best for you!

[FightingBoredom]

I would say to ask yourself how you will feel in 10 years if don't take the better job. Then ask yourself how you would feel in 10 years if taking the better job means losing friends you want to keep and being disconnected from your family.

300 miles might as well be 3000. At first you might make weekend trips home but after a while it will become difficult.

I've moved long distance at least 3 times. The first time I didn't regret it. I'm not close with my siblings or even my parents really so I don't miss them. The move from Indiana to California was great and I made more friends on the west coast than anywhere before or after.

The move that I made from California to Illinois was tough. I still regret it. I've never had many friends but the ones that I have had were great and close. We kept in touch for a few years after I moved but now I think I get Christmas cards from one of them and send the same. That's about it.

While living here in Illinois we moved from one county to another for a cheaper house and "better" schools. The only couple that my wife and I have ever been able to stay friends with lives 60 miles away and our oldest boys are best friends. The move was a mistake, IMO, but there wasn't a better option at the time...I was out of work and this place is closer to where most of the jobs are in my field.

Ironically, for the past 5 years that we've lived here I've worked from my home office nearly 4.5 of them...but only the past 18 months have been consecutively working from home. I regret this move--but it was the only option. I miss being able to hangout with this other family. As the years pass we see each other less and less. It used to be that we wouldn't go more than about 6 weeks without meeting at either our house or theirs for lunch and to drop off one of the boys for a sleep over. Then we ended up meeting at the halfway point and doing the kid exchange. Then that wasn't happening and we went for nearly 4 months until New Years Eve to get together.

It's been nearly six months now since we've seen them even though we keep trying to make plans...they end up falling fall through.

I'd say make your choice based on what you want your life to look like in 10 or 20 years aside from the money. Money comes and goes and doesn't really matter all that much when you get older and look back. I never look back and think -- boy, I really miss the rush I got when I cashed my first $12k paycheck. I DON'T miss that. But I do miss the times I spent doing things with friends that seemed, at the time, to be trivial silly things.

[w.a.m.h.]

I also suffer from anxiety and depression and am going to be tested for ADD next week. I started visiting this sight because of my son, and am reading posts that sound like me.

I want to move all of the time. When I was first married we moved around for a while to get settled in that right job. I loved it. It was like a new adventure every year any I never got bored.

Now we have been here for 15 years and I am going nuts. I need change, lots of it and often. Daily life gets so routine, I get so bored I feel like I am going to explode. I would gladly give up our "stuff" and lighten the load and start over somewhere new. Our commitments and "stuff" overwhelm me anyway. And I would do that every 5 years or so. (Not gonna happen)

I seem to be the odd one when I say this. Everyone else seems to need that home base and extended family. We don't have extended family here anyway, so all I need in my husband and kids and adventure, adventure, travel and did I mention adventure. Unfortunately, that takes money which without a stable job is hard to come by.

I guess you have to ask yourself, what will you be giving up and how important is that to you.

[pittguy578]

Yeah I am not sure if I am one that could handle a move.
I reside relatively close to friends and family now
I am sometimes distant towards them (typical add), but they are always close to my heart. Even if I don't see them all the time, I like the fact they are there and we talk on the phone all the time. As you get older, people just don't have as much free time

I am not happy with my job now, but I am guessing I may be unhappier if I leave everyone and everything I know. But I always read those books where they said don't be afraid, set sail, and am wondering if I am making the wrong decision by not going

[BCdude]

I am actually in the same boat. I am currently saving up for a move to another province (which means I will have to change my username again ). I am going there without any family, not really any job (although I do have an interview as soon as i get there), and the only person I know lives in another city about 200 km away. I am, of course, scared to death and will be leaving my family and my gf behind. But I have to take this opportunity, because if I do not, I will regret it.