ShinyObjects in Northwest Arkansas

[ShinyObjects]

Hooray, I'm here! I'm so excited to have found this forum -- I feel like I've finally found my people! For someone who has always struggled to feel competent, it's a huge relief to me to know there are other people out there who are dealing with the same challenges that I am. I look forward to chatting with you all and hopefully trading some tips and techniques for making those challenges a little less. . .challenging!

And how kewl that we have members from all over the world too!

I tend to be windy, so just read til you get bored or distracted, I'll understand. It's cathartic for me to just get this all out.

Anyway, I am 33 years old, female and single, and recently diagnosed with ADD. I currently live in northwest Arkansas, somewhere between the headquarters of the Ruler of the Free World, Wal-Mart Incorporated, and the sleepy little town Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are currently setting on its ear in "The Simple Life." Before that I lived in four different states in ten different apartments and held six different jobs in 11 years time. Oh, and I also went to law school, although I've never practiced, nor do I intend to. Needless to say, I get bored and distracted easily by every new and exciting thing that comes down the pike, just like a crow with shiny objects, hence my nickname.

I am currently a web producer and I feel for the first time I *might* be on the right path. Of course, I say might b/c I've changed my mind so many times before that I can't be sure I won't again, but this "feels" right, at least for now. I hyperfocus easily on design projects, so I'm working toward getting some more formal training in that respect. I'm really quite obsessed with whole notion of finding my "passion" and my "life's calling." The trouble is, when you're ADD, you have LOTS of passions and all of them seem worth pursuing!

I have never been physically hyperactive, but I have always had an active brain. As a child, I was well-liked for the most part, but I was never very outgoing. I was quite a good student, although by the time I reached junior high school, I started to flounder in math class, and never quite recovered. I did, however, hear repeatedly how lazy I was from my guidance counselors because I was late all the time and because my scores on aptitude tests clearly showed I was more capable than my grades would indicate. I developed a rebellious attitude after that, pretty much refusing to do well. Even at that, I got As in classes like English and French and art without much effort. I mostly didn't care about school and just wanted out. The all-too-familiar phrase "Erica does well at things she enjoys but could do better overall if she would just apply herself" was a recurring theme on my report cards.

Toward the end of my junior year, it began to occur to me that I would never have the things I wanted in life if I didn't get an education. Things like a nice house, a nice car, a trip to France. So I started to "apply myself" and I graduated in my senior year with a 3.5 GPA.

I excelled in college, I think mostly because I was a liberal arts major and I could rely on my writing skills. I also have a good memory which served me well on tests. I realize now I was pretty lucky to skate for as long as I did, and often wonder how much more I would have accomplished if they had known back in 1980 that a shy, quiet, daydreamy girl could just as easily have ADD as the rammy boy sitting next to her.

Law school was quite a different story however. I struggled with it from day one until the day I walked out with my degree. I developed an ulcer and migraines. There was SO MUCH material, not only did you have to know it all, you had to present it on a test in EXACTLY the way they wanted to see it. And there was only one test in every class -- the final -- and that only added to the pressure. The entire three years was an exercise in discipline and organization and stamina, and for me, that meant 3 years of utter misery. Thank goodness for my daily runs or I would have gone mental for sure.


I first had an inkling I had ADD about a year and a half ago when I got fired from a paralegal job at a large law firm I was working for in Los Angeles. Oh, how I hated that job! I dreaded getting up in the morning. The goal was always to get as much paper off your desk by the end of the day as you could manage so as to make room for more of it the next day. Mostly what I did was organize corporate entities and do the necessary filings with the secretary of state, franchise tax board and the IRS. There were so many minute details to keep track of and it was agony for me. I was also in charge of keeping corporate maintenance for the companies we did form. This, too, involved following a lot of (what seemed to me, anyway) complex rules and it was so boring and dry, that I routinely let little details slip through the cracks. This is kind of a major deal when you forget to file some form with the SEC or something and they want to fine your client thousands of dollars.

When they let me go, I was angry and upset -- for about a day or two. Then I was just relieved. And I had a lot of time on my hands to goof off (one of my favorite pasttimes) so I was surfing the net one day not long after I left the firm and was just jumping from one link to the other, reading whatever looked interesting, and I stumbled upon an article about ADD. It was like a light bulb going on for the first time. The DSM-VI definition read like the story of my life. I started to do more research, and became more certain this was me, but being out of work, going for an evaluation was out of the question, so I put it out of my mind for the time being.

Fast forward to summer 2003. I'd been working for my current employer long enough to have benefits, although the mental health benefits sucked. I jumped through a lot of hoops trying to find someone who would take me seriously and was still on my health insurance plan. Then one day I was at my GP's for a routine exam and casually mentioned my problems finding a shrink to prescribe some medication for ADD. As luck would have it, my GP is also ADD! HE hardly needed convincing that was struggling with a very real neurological imbalance and happily wrote a precription for Wellbutrin. I had a REALLY tough time with that drug (I've never felt so high-strung in my life), so he switched me to Strattera and I'm really hoping it works because it will be so much easier and less expensive for me on my prescription plan than the stimulants would be.

Anyway, so that's my long-winded story. Once again, I look forward to getting to know everyone and I'm glad to be here.

[Andrew]

Wow ShinyObjects, sounds like you're already home in here Welcome to the ADD Forums!

[Ian]

Welcome Shiny.. I enjoyed the read. ;^)
Cheers! Ian.

[Wheel1975]

I've been fired a couple of times, (or asked to resign... : ) )

And i've had to fire someone.

As hard as it is too be fired, it is harder to fire someone.

But it has always been the "right thing to have happen." i didn't want to be in the setting where i was sent packing... i had become dependent on it, but the place was, in my view, immoral.

The person i fired got into a job that suited them better. sounds like what is happening with you.

I think you reflect another important thing about adhd... trying to understand the experience of life through "normal" colored lens just doesn't work!

Why hold yourself to a standard that doesn't fit?

Why think that if it is right, you'll do it for ever?!!! That isn't an ADD way of life.

ADD is doing what's right at the time, and allowing that what is right now will be different later! Isn't it?

Let how you really are be a legitimate way to be.

welcome.

[krisp]

Welcome, Shiny! It sounds like you've already led an interesting life ... and probably always will. Following the shiny objects is FUN...

[FlakeyGirl]

Hey Girl! Welcome! I think you are sooooo lucky to be living where you are......I love Walmart and Paris Hilton!

Anyway, I've found, here at the ADD Forums, that there is a nice mix of truly valuable information, a rich variety of opinions and enough silly stuff for a brain vacation.

[Tara]

Welcome to ADD Forums!!!!

[Ace]

Shiny Objects = Necessities for a Bright Life.

Welcome! You write beautifully, and I am sure that reading your offerings will be very entertaining and insightful. Write more and prosper!

PS: Are you surrounded by what others call "clutter," but which many of us see as "potential in a solid state"? Just wondering . . . .

[biker]

Welcome Shiny!