Argumentative/Pessimistic?

[ElectroPop]

Im wondering if these are also possible ADD symptoms? Ive had ADD since a child and social anxiety disorder since i was 16 in 94'. ive always been very argumentative and pessimistic. could that just be a charachter trait or a symptom?

it was bad as a child and not so bad the past few years but its been getting worse and i argue with everyone and am, always thinking the worst. i hate it and really feel i cant control it. im a 25yo male.

is there a medication that helps not being so argumentative or negative?

[missing_cues]

Hey there you! I know exactly what you're talking about. I sympathize with you completely. I am very similar...social anxiety problems, arguing for the sake of arguing all the time...I have lost many friends in the past due to this. As far as pessimism goes, I am there too! I get into negative cycles of thought and I hate that as well (hahahah!). I am not sure about you, but I find I react quickly to perceived jabs at me, and begin arguing immediately. I am not a therapist or anything, but these following tips are things that have really helped me. Quick gut reactions... I can only prescribe one thing...practice. when you feel that rage building up try to remove yourself from the situation in a polite but efficient manner...basically, try to step out of the line of fire, find another room or something....close your eyes, breath in for 4 seconds, hold it for four seconds and breath out for 7 seconds, pushing out from the diaphragm...I know it sounds silly, but a lot of the time it works. As far as getting into arguments at other times, try to stop yourself before getting in too deep...choose your battles carefully...there are some battles worth fighting (not through violence, but through debate...I am a pacifist) but there are those that are not, even if you are right. As far as the negative thinking goes, once again, it seems silly, but try to carry a pad with you...when you get some time alone, write down your negative thoughts...and read back to yourself what you have written...recognizing the negative thought cycle is the first step to stopping it...I am currently taking zoloft to help with my social anxiety and depression (both very much influence on/influenced by my pessimism). Talk to a trained therapist about medications,...I can only tell you that it has worked quite well for me...I hope things go better for you...nice to see you join this group. hope to see you posting more often here...

[waywardclam]

These are both traits that a lot of people with ADD have...

One can be argumentative for several reasons, here are a few off the top of my head:

1. ADD people often have a problem with authority, because authority has mistreated them throughout their lives, or they disagree with the way the system is.

2. ADD people are often highly competitive. Arguing is a form of competition to many people.

3. ADD people crave intensity in life, and arguing, although it creates negative emotions, it is in fact stimulating as well.

4. ADD people also tend to get into a lot of situations where people criticize them, and may develop argumentative habits while merely attempting to "defend" themselves.

5. ADD people often have poor social skills, which tends to create more friction between them and others than a "normal" person would have.

6. ADD people often have poor impulse control... they will blurt out something without thinking over the consequences of having said it. This can start and escalate arguments, where someone with a better "filter" would recognize comments that are better rephrased or left unsaid.

There may well be more, this is what comes to my mind immediately.

In terms of the pessimism... I believe there is one main reason for this... the setbacks, frustrations, and criticisms that people with ADD have to go through can be very discouraging, and train them to believe that things are going to turn out poorly... or make them not want to hope anymore, because it is so hard to have your hopes dashed again and again...

In terms of what to do about it... I am not sure... but understanding the problem is IMHO the first step...

P.S. Welcome to the forum, Electropop, feel free to look around and gain from other discussions or contribute to them as well...

[Wheel1975]

Originally posted by waywardclam
These are both traits that a lot of people with ADD have...

One can be argumentative for several reasons, here are a few off the top of my head:

1. ADD people often have a problem with authority, because authority has mistreated them throughout their lives, or they disagree with the way the system is.

I think there would be positive value to listing even more reasons why ADHDers get crosswise with authority, and one of those can be too narrow a focus or too broad a focus, compared to the "controls."

2. ADD people are often highly competitive. Arguing is a form of competition to many people.

i like to play ping pong, as well as i can, but I still lose track of the score! Sometimes the striving for excellence can be seen as negative...

3. ADD people crave intensity in life, and arguing, although it creates negative emotions, it is in fact stimulating as well.

4. ADD people also tend to get into a lot of situations where people criticize them, and may develop argumentative habits while merely attempting to "defend" themselves.

Or they try to apply what they think the rules are, to others, to understand ... to confirm their understanding of what the rules are... since they are SOCIAL rules, at which ADHDers are particularly bad, they don't get it right very often, and get critisized for critisizing, what they think is the same way others are, but the ADHDer is wrong.

5. ADD people often have poor social skills, which tends to create more friction between them and others than a "normal" person would have.

6. ADD people often have poor impulse control... they will blurt out something without thinking over the consequences of having said it. This can start and escalate arguments, where someone with a better "filter" would recognize comments that are better rephrased or left unsaid.

I object to the ida that this is "impulse control." To be "impulse control," there have to be two things that aren't present for the ADHDer...
1) a considered desire,
2) awareness of it in advance at which point some inhibition choice can be made. Tourettes is not a failure of "impulse control" either. Things are said or done with NO prior notice, not overruled prior notice or "bad judgment."

I think the continued misuse of the words "impulse control" really keeps us from seeing and dealing with what is really going on.

There may well be more, this is what comes to my mind immediately.

In terms of the pessimism...

I think people with ADHD sometimes are better at seeing possible barriers in the road (in the future) without good measures on those that are more likely or not likely at all. So the ADHDer voices them all. That sounds pessimistic...... really it is a probability problem!

I believe there is one main reason for this... the setbacks, frustrations, and criticisms that people with ADD have to go through can be very discouraging, and train them to believe that things are going to turn out poorly... or make them not want to hope anymore, because it is so hard to have your hopes dashed again and again...

In terms of what to do about it... I am not sure... but understanding the problem is IMHO the first step...

P.S. Welcome to the forum, Electropop, feel free to look around and gain from other discussions or contribute to them as well...

I loved adding to your post Paul! Thanks for the great material to add to (screw up). Apologies to the original author.

[waywardclam]

Another reason ADD people tend to get into a lot of arguments is they often hang around with Wheel1975...

[missing_cues]

hahahahahahahahahaha....Im sorry...that was a little funny....(insensitive, but funny...)! actually, people with ADD who hang out together sometimes miss social cues as well and that can lead to some tension sometimes...sometimes we forget how hurtful we can be or we dont notice the signs when someon has had enough...or the person with ADD we're with does put accross clear signals cause they are used to what clear signals are...sorry for laughin Wheel.....it was bad of me.....

[Wheel1975]

Originally posted by waywardclam
Another reason ADD people tend to get into a lot of arguments is they often hang around with Wheel1975...

What defense can I mount to the truth?

Geeze!

[FlakeyGirl]

Wheel's a real good sport! If you want to know how I deal with the Wheel, look at the seventh page of the thread Last Post. I believe it is in the Chit Chat part. I shut him right down. And I think he liked it. You've got to fight fire with maple syrup.


Sorry, I don't know how to reference another thread. If anyone would care to educate me (on that, specifically), please do!

[Tara]

Many times ADDers start confrontations and have negative thoughts as a way of self medicating. It's way of stimulating our brains...

[healthwiz]

A form of therapy called cognitive therapy is very effective and rapid at ending this tendency to have repititious negative thinking. Its very popular, the insurance companies love it, because it does not dwell on the past, it simply focuses on the thoughts we process today, what we are thinking, and how that effects our day. Insurance companies love it because it works in just a few appointments. For the deeper work, of course you know what I am going to say; Psychodrama!

Jonathan

[Wheel1975]

Originally posted by FlakeyGirl
Wheel's a real good sport! If you want to know how I deal with the Wheel, look at the seventh page of the thread Last Post. I believe it is in the Chit Chat part. I shut him right down. And I think he liked it. You've got to fight fire with maple syrup.


Sorry, I don't know how to reference another thread. If anyone would care to educate me (on that, specifically), please do!

Start a new browser window or tab and find the ADDforums messaage you want. The "Address" that appears in the the Browsers address (http://www.whatever....) is what you use. Highlight that, select, copy and paste it into your message.

That is all you need to do.

[Wheel1975]

(FILO) First in Last Out.

[healthwiz]

Wheel - you must be in the insurance or investments industry... ??? FILO gave it away.