Is everyone crazy? Am I crazy?

[MGDAD]

I am coming out of the closet a bit, because I need to vent. Life has been rough at our house lately. One child diagnosed with ADHD then the other with Bipolar. Marriage also sucks. Been going slowly downhill for about 10 years.

Our childrens Dr. is excellent. At the last appointment he talked about categories/patterns of behaviour. He talked about how a person trained in psychiatry/psychology is able to look at various behaviours and categorize them and then prepare a diagnosis(simplistic explanation, but it resonated with me). As he described the behaviors of our child he would give examples of how this behavior would manefest itself in other ways. The problem, is that with many of the behaviors he described in our children, I would be saying to myself, (that is exactly what my wife does in those situations). She does not match the behaviors exactly in either of our children, but she has many of the very problematic traits. So, now I think my wife is crazy. Maybe I am crazy? I know that "crazy" is not a good term, but anyway...

-she gets frustrated easily. whenever something does not go just right, she just wants to give up.
-first reaction, for problems with relationships, kids, friends, is to give up. because of this she has no real friends.
-difficulty holding a job, cause everyone is out to get her, everyone else at work is causing problems for her...
-extremely sensitive to criticism. I can never ask her to do anything different.
-unable to admit mistakes, even with simple stupid stuff.
-overreacts to problems. Everything is a crisis. Cannot be talked down from her anger or rage or grudge holding.
-generally irritable all the time

Boy, could I tell you stories about her strange reactions to issues.

You know how it is with your ADHD kids? When you try and discuss some wildly innapropriate behavior? You catch them red handed, then after they calm down, they have this blank look on their face. They are completely unable to acknowledge or discuss their bad behavior. I see that same blank look on my wife. I am going crazy. Or maybe I am imagining it.

Just had to let it out...

[FightingBoredom]

Have a video camera at the ready...tape their behavior. Even if you only catch a few seconds of it.

There have been a couple of times my kids were amazed that they REALLY DO act the way we're telling them. When they see it on playback it provides a new level of perception for them.

Remember, it's difficult for someone with ADHD to have an external perspective so what they perceive to be true--IS true--to them.

Using the video helps give them an external perspective that is unbiased.