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  #1  
Old 12-27-07, 04:17 PM
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Question does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

i herd we are sexual addicts
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  #2  
Old 12-27-07, 05:03 PM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

Well, I certainly wouldn't generalize and say all ADDers are sex addicts by any means.

I do have some issues with sex that somewhat relate to my ADD.

It link in with my constant boredom/ search for stimulation, for one thing. And some avoidance issues I have (avoiding facing other problems or thinking about how I really feel about certain things).

My main problem is getting myself into really screwed up situations though. Like people who are no good for me at all (a situation I've gotten myself into again recently). Or getting bored and tending more toward less mainstream stuff or multiple partners. Or getting bored and impulsive and cheating. :P

I'm not sure exactly how this all ties into my inability to maintain a healthy sex life in a long term relationship but... After a while, I end up too distracted by the day to day stuff and relationship problems and just can't be bothered with the sex anymore. I'll go through periods where I'll want nothing to do with it. Then eventually I realize it's not my sex drive, it's my stress level/ frustration with the relationship/ partner and I'll go into another gotta-have-it phase but it's always with someone other than that partner (either ending the relationship or straying... then ending it eventually).

It doesn't matter if I still really really care about/love the other person. If there are unresolved relationship issues, I just lose all attraction and desire for that person. It's really frustrating. I wonder if I'm doomed to that problem forever or if I'll eventually find someone I can keep the spark alive with/ not get bored with *and* maintain a healthy relationship.

I dunno... I do tend to be a bit of a fiend though. Lol. And my hypersensitivity comes into play. Usually in a good way. But it was also be bad. Like if I'm in one of those down phases in a relationship and my partner tried to initiate something, my skin will just hurt if they touch me and stuff. It's weird.

I definitely self medicate my boredom and anxiety associated with my ADD with sex sometimes. And I'm really impulsive about it. I'm probably more impulsive about sex than anything else. Sometimes it's just fun. Sometimes it can be a problem.
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Old 12-27-07, 06:29 PM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

ROFL, I am anything but a sex addict. My husband wishes.

I think in some cases, sex is a form of self medicating, like cocaine for others.

*chuckles... "me a sex addict... AS IF"....*
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Old 12-27-07, 07:31 PM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

I have a hypersexuality issue but it isn't related to ADHD in my case it is more of a manic symptom
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Old 12-27-07, 07:49 PM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mspen1018 View Post
I have a hypersexuality issue but it isn't related to ADHD in my case it is more of a manic symptom
It had been suspected that mine was a hypomania symptom but that was before my ADHD diagnosis. Once I really sat down and thought about it, I realized my fast talking and hypersexuality do not always go along with my hypomania and are often present when I am decidedly not hypomanic.
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Old 12-27-07, 09:38 PM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

Quote:
Then eventually I realize it's not my sex drive, it's my stress level/ frustration with the relationship/ partner
Ahuh. My "sex drive" is acutely determined by my overall mood and anything but my actual sex drive, I realise this when daily events keep me from some sexual release, and then my body lets me know my sex drive is intact.

Most intimate relationship I ever had was with someone who also had ADHD, she was on double my dose of Ritalin and it barely slowed her down!!!
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Old 12-28-07, 07:40 AM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

absolutely. I love sex and the adrenaline rush of 'the game'. My husband does too so we've put ourselves on a sex-twice-a-day diet to prevent us from cheating on each other. The good thing is we understand each other so if anything ever happens, it won't be a huge deal.
i think it's healthy to have a lot of sex, it's a great way of staying a team, at least that's what it feels like to me. plus i get my daily exercise for free!
i must say both me and my husband tend to bipolar disorder so it might be a BP thing...
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Old 12-28-07, 04:06 PM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

My libido is insanely high. When I have a girlfriend I just always want to have sex. I stopped masturbating though because it makes me feel silly afterwards
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Old 12-28-07, 05:05 PM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

I was thinking this over a few minutes ago and I think that I can kinda differentiate between my ADD sexual issues and the hypomanic BP sexual issues when the impulsiveness gives way to straight up recklessness. I'm almost always impulsive about sex and don't tend to make the best choices a lot of times but it's when I'm really hypomanic (which doesn't happen all that often... my prob is primarily BP depression) is when I make the reeaaally bad and more dangerous decisions. Actually, they're hardly decisions at all... I just do stuff. :P

Today was really cool because I had my second visit with my mew therapist/coach and it somehow came up and I ended up mentioning that I do tend to self-medicate with sex and he totally didn't make me feel bad about it. He understood what I was saying and didn't scold me or try to attribute it to mania or just blow the whole thing off like past therapists would. He also let me talk all fast and excitedly and he talks the same was. It was cool. First psych appt I've left feeling really good since the one where I was diagnosed. Lol. And other than that, first one in many many years.
I love that he has ADD too and isn't all calm and serious and trying to sloooow me down and stuff. I could be more myself at my speed and was even able to talk to him a little about my current sex life issues.

Sorry for the tangent, I'm just excited.
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Old 12-30-07, 09:09 PM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

I like to argue with myself--because the makeup sex is great.
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Old 01-15-08, 11:10 AM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

i guess my only thing would be that every noise distracts me and i can't focus on the sensations or relax.
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Old 01-15-08, 01:16 PM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

I would say that I think about it and talk about it a lot more than I actually do it. I suppose thats one of the [few] shy parts about me. One head differs greatly from that of the other I suppose.
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Old 01-15-08, 02:43 PM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

the only problem i have is that i usually drink too much when i got out with friends and when i drink i have NO self control and i will start flirting with ppl (it realeses some sort of monster lol).. and i've ended up regretting things i've done drunk....
I have to monitor my drinking thats all..
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Old 08-19-09, 05:23 AM
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Re: does people have a sexual problems with adhd?

The major problem with me is smoking marijuana too much when i go out with my best buddies.Then i do very cheap things that i can't tell you here..i wanna overcome it and i m trying.
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Old 08-19-09, 10:32 AM
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Re: Do people have sexual problems with adhd?

Yes, I most definitely do. I get bored very quickly. In my late teens / early 20s I had very few sexual relationships that lasted more than a week (usually just one night). I was bored by the next day.

Occasionally, I'd meet someone who really stimulated me (intellectually), and I would be very sexually attracted to. In this case, the sex would last a bit longer.

With my wife, she says it was great until the day we moved in together, and then it was like a turned it off like a light bulb. Again, I attribute this to get bored very quickly. Interestingly, when we do have sex, it's usually pretty good.

Before we were married, there was a period where we had broken up for a number of months (we had been together since our early 20s), which also coincided with the only manic episode I've had in the relationship (more hypomanic). During this period I went I hooked up with different girls constantly. Oddly, I think this may have been a good thing in a way--since the woman who is now my wife--we had been together since college, and when we got back together and got married, I've been faithful.

The thought of cheating has crossed my mind, but since I know I've probably put my wife through hell and back with ADD / BP / OCD, the least I can do is be a faithful husband. I've always found it incredibly disrespectful when guys constantly cheat on their wife flagrantly. It's kind of disgusting when there's a couple you know, and you see the husband out there constantly flirting (and cheating) with other women.
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