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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #1  
Old 01-01-08, 10:09 AM
Wexder5 Wexder5 is offline
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Hard time making friends

Due to my past with ADD, I have a hard time meeting new people and making friends. It's not that I don't want to meet new people, I am just nervous with how I will be judged and accepted.

What are some ways I can go about breaking this cycle I am in with meeting new people and perhapes making friends.
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Old 01-01-08, 07:15 PM
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NickL30 NickL30 is offline
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Re: Hard time making friends

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Originally Posted by Wexder5 View Post
Due to my past with ADD, I have a hard time meeting new people and making friends. It's not that I don't want to meet new people, I am just nervous with how I will be judged and accepted.

What are some ways I can go about breaking this cycle I am in with meeting new people and perhapes making friends.
I find it hard to make friends as well. I thought that people outside the NYC area would be friendlier but actually it is just the opposite. I spent 4 months in central CT (Hartford County), and found the people in general to be very reserved, materialistic & very unfriendly, and still living the college lifestyle even though they are in their 20's, and much their views on issues are much more conservative than NYC even though CT is a 'blue state'. I don't think of the people up their have ever really been outside of the Hartford Cty area which is a cultural dead zone compared to the NYC metro area and even Fairfield Cty CT
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Old 01-01-08, 07:49 PM
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Re: Hard time making friends

I have a hard time making friends because I tend to be self centered and not very nice to people, the only real ADHD related aspect to it is the impulsiveness. I have a difficult time keeping my opinions to myself. I am also rude and inconsiderate.

The factor involved in my case is a PD (personality disorder) as well, and mine in fact involves not really feeling distress over not being liked anyhow.

I am however paranoid and trust nobody so I have factors as I am sure a lot of you do that interfere with my social problems other than ADHD.
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Old 01-09-08, 05:36 PM
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Re: Hard time making friends

I have a hard time making friends as well. And keeping them. I hate it. I really want to have more firends but it seems the only ones I manage to keep for any period of time are the ones I get "involved" with.

I have a lot of self esteem issues that come into play. Plus I'm bad about calling people back and stuff. :P

I have some sort of need for basically everyone to like me (or at least no one to dislike me) and that gets me in trouble and makes things all the more difficult.
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Old 01-09-08, 11:32 PM
Babieejae1101 Babieejae1101 is offline
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Re: Hard time making friends

I also have problems making and keeping friends. I would try to get out there and join a group like meetup.com. In life, (in my opinion) we have to take risks. If a person is going to judge you and not accept you, then they're not worth it.
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Old 01-10-08, 02:58 PM
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Re: Hard time making friends

I've always had a difficult time making friends as I just can't find the right ingredients.
For the longest time I looked at friends like a potential dependance, like a parasite so I'd push any and all away. That at least help me cover up the fact I had the hardest time really caring what they had to say in the first place. Yup. I sure made a great friend.

At anyrate, now, I don't have many friends nor do I really care to tell the truth. I am me 100% - I joke a lot, flirt some times but at the end of the day my shift is up and I go home. At that point, I just want to be alone and do my own thing.

Perhaps I just haven't found "the right friend" but basically it boils down to - if you like me for who and what I am, then you're cool with me. I've just gotten used to growing up by myself and only being with one other person and usually that's all that I require.
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Old 01-10-08, 04:26 PM
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Re: Hard time making friends

My anger is my biggest problem. I can't keep friends due to it. I have lost 2-3 male friends in the last few years and a girlfriend. Not good.
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Old 01-10-08, 06:41 PM
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Re: Hard time making friends

I've always had trouble making friends. I love meeting new people, but I can be shy about approaching them. And I really don't like making phone calls, I feel like I'm intruding.

It's something I've thought about a lot, and I've done what 'they' say to do - taken classes, joined groups, etc. While I enjoy those things, and like the people I've met, I find I don't see them outside of group or class activities. But I see other people connecting and getting together all the time, and wonder why not me.

And then when I feel llike I have made a real connection, they move away or we lose touch, or they turn into jerks. Maybe I'm better off with imaginary friends.
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Old 01-10-08, 07:05 PM
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Re: Hard time making friends

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But I see other people connecting and getting together all the time, and wonder why not me.
Yeah. But why?? I seriously don't get it. I have great friends of my own, which is fantastic. But in any new situation, where one would make new friends, I never do.. sounds kind of common, any thoughts on why this happens?

I get that it's partly self-esteem, also probably some ADD-related things that people are weirded out by -- OK, but eventually, you sort of figure it out, more or less. I am a perfectly nice person, and I get along with my friends just great. Whatever people-repellent I'm sporting can't be so bothersome if some people seem to like me just fine. So I'm not too stressed that I'm not the kind of person who will appeal to everyone, or even most people..

But it's that - "people connecting and getting together all the time" that really bothers me. I just don't get it. Why? Why not me?? What is this socializing thing that is apparently so foreign to me?
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Old 01-10-08, 09:30 PM
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Re: Hard time making friends

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Originally Posted by cameron View Post
My anger is my biggest problem. I can't keep friends due to it. I have lost 2-3 male friends in the last few years and a girlfriend. Not good.
This is my problem too...except it's more that I sound angry when I'm really not angry. I have a sharp tone in my voice that I can't seem to shake. I am a woman so people really don't expect this from me. I've been in tears more than a couple of times about people who have decided that they can't be my friends any more.
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