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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #61  
Old 03-20-08, 03:46 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

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to express anger that cannot be expressed verbally.
Gary NOT verblize his anger - oh maybe when

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  #62  
Old 03-25-08, 09:56 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

I'm just having problems with my spouse....not fun.
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  #63  
Old 03-25-08, 10:48 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

I was happy today, I actually had smile on my face and was appreciative to be alive. All it took to send me spiraling downwards was my bf to come in from working and start slamming stuff around. I did more today than I usually do, in fact I have done more in a week than I usually do. I cooked him breakfast, lunch, did a load of clothes, took care of all the animals, did two days worth of dishes, and picked up in the living room. He comes in and takes a shower, and starts in on a cleaning frenzy mad. He always tries to sabotage everything I do. Its like when I get better he knocks me back down. I’m so sick of working on myself and living with a FREAK! I am sick of all the crap he keeps collecting, I’m sick of doing w/o things we need so he can spend thousands of dollars collecting crap. All the collections I had before the fire, that I ever told him about, I had maybe 5 of. He has to get at least 100 he has collected all my collections and branched off of this into his own mad frenzy. Must be nice to shop on eBay all the time and ***** about bill collectors. Its Christmas for him everyday, everyday freaking packages from the post office. I have to try to get back to my Zen day I was having. I totally resent it. To be soo depressed for so long and finally pull your head above water just to have him go around with his lips pursed together, that tsk tsk tsk of disapproval in his eye. I asked him, “why are you slamming things around , He says, “just trying to straighten up, its getting out of hand again”, That’s fine if it was true, not I cleaned today. Before I lived with him and would come over, He had his son and his sons girlfriend living here. They would use every dish in the house and not lift a finger, he would clean when they went somewhere and ***** about what pigs they were. Didn’t do it in front of them though. I put up with there stuff when I moved in, he told me they were moving or I would have never moved in. I had to put up with them for over a year. Oh well, I got to get over this and not let him steal my happiness. I'm really making use of this thread!

Athensga, its not fun!
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  #64  
Old 03-30-08, 02:54 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

I don't know know if any one is here or not, but all i know is that , i have come her to see what others are talking about, the names ian, and i have just gone through, the worst time, my adhd, has not just increased, i'm in another country and i went off the meds fior a bit, i tryed to get sonme in the uk, and all i know, is that what ever io have been ginven, is not working, it has increased,my symptoms, it has given me mood swings, that i have never experienced, and my hyperactivity...i just had the worst mental and physical break down, and through this, i have had to watch, my fiancee lose all trust, confidence, in my sanity,and my ability to cope, not to mention the emotional, episodes, that has wrecked havok in my life..now i'm not sure where i stand at all, i have asked for help, and its all a waiting game, and its gotten so bad,, that i have lost all that i have worked so hard to achieve..any body know of some behavioral stratagies,my job, my love life is gone, and im left frustrated, with out a clue of what i need to do to get the help i need, any ideas? please?
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  #65  
Old 03-30-08, 02:58 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

by the way my spelling is atroious
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  #66  
Old 03-30-08, 03:10 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Hi Ian and welcome. I'm still new and don't have many coping stradigies up my sleave. But do want you to know your heard. Welcome to this forum, there are many, many things to help you. If you can get the stuff straightned out w/ your doc. I assumed whats happened is when you traveled your new doc in other country gave you different meds? If thats the case you are in withdrawal from your regular meds and now have new meds for your body to deal with? If you can get someone on the phone to straighten this out, thats needed. Some meds have horrible side affects if you stop taking them or mix with the wrong ones. Just needing to cope until your seen by a doctor is tough. I haven't been seen yet (tommorow) and finding this forum has helped me tremendously.
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  #67  
Old 03-30-08, 03:11 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by ian whalley View Post
by the way my spelling is atroious
Dont worry about it
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Old 03-30-08, 09:39 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by ian whalley View Post
by the way my spelling is atroious
Yu'll phit write inn hear then. Well cum two teh inter nets.
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  #69  
Old 03-31-08, 12:41 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Good place to be Ian....hang in there. Sometimes when we hit rock bottom, there's no where to go but up. Been there, done that as well as lot's of other folks here. Check out the area on ADD resources and tools. Keep looking through posts and you may even find some helpful tips there. You are not alone...keep that in mind.
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  #70  
Old 04-06-08, 12:11 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

ok this is thread for me........ My relationship is on borrowed time, its a good thing we dont live together, although i guess if we did it would have lasted 5 minutes and not 3 years. The tricky bit is i am just in the process of being diagnosed, with all the associated emotions, and not feeling up to dealing with another break up on top of everything else. But i dont know if i can keep doing this to myself. He comes and stays on weekends, and its always about him. The big problem is i can never confront him or even challenge any of his behaviour. So mostly things go unsaid, or when i do speak up, he just leaves (like 10 minutes ago). To be fair, he has had a long and horrific history of childhood abuse, so i do cut him some slack, but this is becoming ridiculus, i simply cant just stay quiet when he is so "getting it wrong" on the relationship front. Its so frustrating to not to be able to have an argument , work through issues and grow as a couple as a result. Quite frankly i am over it, and just because i am messy and disorganised it doesnt give him lisence to dump all this crap at my place!! GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
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Old 04-07-08, 03:51 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

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I don't know know if any one is here or not, but all i know is that , i have come her to see what others are talking about
As you can see Ian there are lots of people here - this is basically a vent thread. When we are frustrated we come where to vent about it - we don't have to worry about giving good advice or being supportive but we still have to follow the ADDF guidelines.

The only topic is venting / intimate relationships.
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  #72  
Old 04-07-08, 04:03 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Driver, that was a funny post! very true!
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  #73  
Old 04-07-08, 05:59 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

My husband has obviously been annoyed with me for the past few days, so I pushed him into talking it out. The talk went pretty well. He had been thinking that I've just given up and accepted the mess that is our home. I had been worrying that he didn't understand how much I'm really working to fix some things. So, we got all of that aired out Saturday afternoon.

So, what did he do the rest of the weekend? Nothing. I take that back. He sorted his laundry all over the living room floor and washed about 1/3 of it, leaving the rest on the floor. And *I'm the lazy slob!

Anyway, I finally found the cojones today to point out that he is *exactly like me. I did my best to make sure it was clear that I wasn't dx'ing him or trying to tell him what to do, but that he needed to take a look at his own thoughts and behaviors and see if he noticed the similarities.

Maybe I shouldn't have done that over the phone while he was at work, lol. On the other hand, maybe that'll give him some food for thought on the way home!

I have no idea what he's going to be like when he walks through the door, but he will be stepping on a freshly cleaned floor! :-)
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Old 04-08-08, 01:37 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

aren't relationships and marriage so much fun! I'm glad I'm single! I used to stress over wishing I was married. Brakna, see what your NOT missing. Relationships, usually have a lot of rocky times, even for people who are compatiable. Communication is probably the NUMBER ONE factor in success in long term relationship and marriage. Problem is that women and men usually communicate differently. Some people manage to make it work(50 percent?). Not many do though.
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  #75  
Old 04-10-08, 03:48 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Interesting article on mate selection!
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