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  #106  
Old 07-17-08, 12:15 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

OK I'm so-o-o-o ticked right now. The guy called to pick up my brother's car to take to California at 9:30 tonight. The car is on the other side of town, 20 minutes away. Hubby's at his AA meeting with phone turned off.

The truck driver of course has no idea where my brother's house is (the driver lives in California), and wants me to bring the car to him at the Lowe's. This means driving to my brother's condo, leaving my car, picking up his car, taking it to Lowe's and finding a way back to my car.

Well I finally get in touch with my husband who throws a fit. Then says he'll go home and get his car (he rode his motorcycle to his meeting). Well I've already left and am now at my brother's condo, hubby calls, he didn't take his house keys!! ARGGGGGG!!!

To shorten the story, I ended up having to ride back from Lowes to my car on the back of the motorcycle, I hated it!! The whole time the hubby is screeching at me to not hold on so tight. Excuse me I'm riding with my eyes closed, I haven't riden on a motorcycle in over 22 years. I'm not 18 in a miniskirt riding up and down ocean blvd all night in myrtle beach on the back of a bike anymore.
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  #107  
Old 07-17-08, 01:55 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

ahhh, maybe its really good that I'm not married! yowsers!
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  #108  
Old 07-17-08, 06:27 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

feeling better after 4 hours sleep, LOL!! I noticed last night that I had left a set of keys in the truck (parked inside the locked chain link fence, someone would have to get through the Siberian husky, the hound and the five lhasa apso's to get in the house) so he could have gotten in, had I known.
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  #109  
Old 07-17-08, 04:20 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

I'm not getting the respect I deserve from the people I unwisely let back into my life lately. My boundaries accidentally went out the window and here I am right back where I was before they hurt me and I stood up for myself.

I'm mad at them for treating me this way and mad at myself for allowing it and embarrassed for not knowing how to let it go again and not being able to do that yet.

Codependency sucks.
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  #110  
Old 07-19-08, 01:53 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Every women wants to have a perfect guy, the understanding guy, the caring guy, well-dressed guy, well organized guy, etc. When I meet women at the beginning they say like a guy who is peculiar and different (like me).
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  #111  
Old 07-20-08, 04:26 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Wow, really bad day yesterday. Hubby was just a pain most of the day.

I didn't feel well, my allergies decided to act up, unlike some people who get the runny nose, sneezing, etc, mine come on with pressure in my head and eustacian tubes going to my ears, so I can't hear well and end up with severe pain (the pressure behind my eardrums feels so intense it feels like if my eardrums were popped open with something it would make it better-not that I want to bust my eardrums, but that's the way it feels).

Well the hubby has apparently been screaming my name, PO'd that I haven't answered or cooked him lunch yet at 1 pm. Excuse me, I'm not hungry, I take meds-remember idiot husband, I don't get hungry until about 5 or 6. There's a fridge full of cooked food.

Next thing, apparently I'm a mind reader, and I because I didn't magically know to come and open the gate for him to take his motorcycle outside, he forgot to put the kickstand up and dropped his bike. Temper tantrum number two for him.

I finally called the pharmacist about taking a decongestant. I was afraid to take sudafed since I"m on vyvanse, but apparently the pharmacist said a small dose of that was better than the phenylprine formulas. (who'd have thought that??)

So then we were at 10 pm, he comes home from his AA meeting, I've gone and gotten pizza from the little hole in the wall Italian place (they have people there from NY who make delicious super thin crust pizza that is heaven, and makes me feel better when I'm sick, they even speak Italian there-I don't but I find it interesting to watch). Somehow I managed to lock him out of the house, unconsciously, subconsciously. So we have temper tantrum number three.

Now it's almost 4:30 am I'm awake, the pressure in my head is some better, and I'm so-o-o-o glad the hubby has to work today!!
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  #112  
Old 07-20-08, 08:51 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brakna View Post
Why Perfect Dates Make Lousy Partners" by LiveScience.com

"The best "catches" in dating land may be the worst choices in the long-run, new research shows.

Popular people who monitor themselves carefully in social situations and thereby appear to be the most socially appropriate are often highly sought after as romantic partners, a study finds, but these people show less satisfaction and commitment in relationships than socially-awkward people.
What if you excessively self-monitor and you're socially awkward?
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  #113  
Old 07-23-08, 02:59 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

My husband forgot to get cat snacks but the cats aren't bothering him - they aren't sitting on his computer mouse - oh no they are up my butt . . . .to top off this annoyance hubby blames me for his forgetfulness!
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  #114  
Old 07-27-08, 09:56 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Ready to have a major meltdown, well not really, but I swear some people just want to tick me off. The guy who was supposed to be in charge of the Fourth of July picnic was at our monthly meeting, he started running his mouth, so I switched programs from my notetaking on my pda to solitaire.

I was listening to the creep, but playing trying to keep my mind calm as he droned on and on. Then he decided to say that we didn't have enough food and that's what happens when people don't bring food, excuse the living carp diddly out of me, he's the one who said he was going to sell ALL of the food in order to make money for the AA club, so he didn't want anyone bringing any side dishes, potluck or other food. Then he didn't bring any of the hotdogs, burgers, bags of chips, or soda's he was going to sell. What a freaking looney tunes.

Yes another lovely meeting at the AA club. Full of whining, screeching, and yet another self-righteous know-it-all trying to blame his mess-ups on everyone else.
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  #115  
Old 07-28-08, 12:15 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

I finally stood up for myself tonight! I let him no in no uncertain terms that I will not be treated like a booty call. That's not what this was supposed to be.

I feel really good and relieved but also a little sad and lonely. I'm not used to spending Sunday nights alone and I don't do well with change, even good change. We had a routine. I wasn't getting what I was supposed to out of it but I got used to it anyway and I've finally put my foot down and broken it. It's the best thing to happen to me in months but I still feel a little twinge of loss.

I feel silly for being sad but at least I did it and I didn't back down or give in or let on that I was upset.

Now if only he hadn't been too drunk to mean the apology or remember this clearly tomorrow. I wish he meant it when he said he felt bad but I know he doesn't have the capacity to feel that when he's drunk.

I'm glad I have my Al-Anon meeting tomorrow night. Lol.
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  #116  
Old 07-28-08, 08:57 AM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Hmm... I can't seem to edit my last post for some reason...

I guess I feel a little bit better this morning. Mostly.

I wrote a long email that I'm debating sending. Sometimes I have a tendency to overstate my case but considering the fact that he probably only remembers a tiny fragment of the "conversation" and probably wasn't even listening to that, I think I'd feel a little better knowing I clarified.
That's usually what it comes down to with us... there's an almost pointless conversation that consists of me talking and him trying not to listen then I end up sending an email later to get across what I wanted to say without being interrupted and cut off or fussed at. (He gets mad when made to "feel bad" even though HE'S the one who did the thing to make me/him feel bad, not me. But I'm the one bringing it up and making him face it so of course I'm treated as the source of the unpleasantness. The whole thing is ever so mature *eye roll*)

It's a calm letter... no name calling or overly emotional bits. I don't think it makes me look bad or anything. Hopefully. And if so, what the heck does it matter, right? I don't plan to have much more to do with him anymore so what does it really matter what he thinks and it usually makes it easier for me to let go and move on if I feel like I've had my say. Even if there's no way to tell if he'll actually read it or just open it and go "crazy b----!" and delete it.

As I try to do in these situations, I've sent it to myself first and plan to sit on it until at least lunchtime to make sure it's what I really want to do. I guess I have nothing to lose anymore though. Heck, the worst thing that could happen for me would be to get a positive reaction from him because it'd be really tempting to see what he'd actually do and how long he'd be able to hold up the "I actually give a crap" routine. And I don't want to put myself in that position once again. We've been down that road before. It goes nowhere fast and I have a hard time getting off when it gets crappy again.


I don't care what Al Anon says about blaming the disease not the person and all that. I'm sorry but this dude is essentially a crappy person. One of the most selfish brats I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. Add alcohol and he gets worse, sure. he probably doesn't mean the mean things he says when he's drunk so I try not to take those personally. Especially if he's drinking liquor. But he still sucks sober. The only time he doesn't suck all that much is when he's high.

Man, I can really pick 'em. Sad part is, I've know he was a jerk from the get-go. I'm not quite right in the head, apparently. Lol ;P

Workin' on it though. I really do want better, finally. Chasing trouble is just too exhausting now and not rewarding at all. I've been at it for 12 years or so and I'm pooped.

Unfortunately I attract substance abusers, people abusers, and plain old jerks like *******' flies and really have no idea what to do with anything else. Or where to find anything else. As one lady in Al-Anon put it a couple weeks ago "my picker is broken." LOL

I'm trying to clean the words "Will Take Your Crap" off my forehead (they must be there, I swear!) and learn to love myself enough to break the cycle.

These craptastic pseudo-relationships are like driving on a racetrack... fast and exciting but ultimately going nowhere no matter what you do. Time for a road that actually goes somewhere. I'm just getting dizzy and bored with the same old scenery, just a different passenger (or driver since I seem to hand the controls over so easily).

I guess I get stuck in the same routines because even though I'm not sure how rough the ride will be, I at least know exactly how it'll go overall. I'm afraid of not knowing where I'm headed and trusting that it'll be ok and things will work out the way they need to for me.
But I know I've been guided through this, step by step, for the past few weeks so I guess that's a little demonstration of how it can work. I'm still scared s---less though.

Ah, the morning rant. Hopefully I got enough of that crud out to peacefully get on with my day. I have too much to do to be preoccupied with worrying about what some selfish twit may or may not think of me and what his next move will be.
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  #117  
Old 07-29-08, 11:13 AM
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Re: Why the opposite sex is frustrating - vent thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeloresMelon View Post
He's perfect, does no wrong. Never needs to apologize and won't.

My ideas are dumb, unrealistic, or fanciful. Until they are implemented behind his back and actually work. Then, it was likely just his idea to begin with and I stole it.


I'm too girly to think.

totally know what your going through... my bf is the same way... what do u do about it??
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  #118  
Old 07-29-08, 11:14 AM
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Re: Why the opposite sex is frustrating - vent thread

totally know what ur going through, my bf is the same way...what do you do about it?
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  #119  
Old 07-30-08, 07:06 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

I'm supposed to be having dinner with jerkface in half an hour.
I want to see if there's any possibility of us being able to actually be friends or if it's not worth my time to bother at all.

I've convinced myself not to get mad if he doesn't show. I'll just act like he doesn't exist because if I mean that little to him, then he doesn't.

Crap. I'm not even hungry now. Lol. ;P
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  #120  
Old 08-18-08, 08:54 PM
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Why doesn't he listen to a word I freaking say!!!???!!?? I'm so-o-o-o sick of it!!! You'd think after 20 years, he might have at least listened to me once!! Then he wants to start a huge nasty fight because he didn't unclog his ears long enough to listen to me.

Then that little tramp from the AA club calls, I swear why doesn't she go buy her own dang car, and drive herself to the dang meetings?? Why does she have to call in the middle of dinner, again??

Of course if it's not her, it's his sponsee, "boohoo, my wife doesn't understand, why did she throw me out just because I picked up the 42" plasma screen TV and threw it through the plate glass picture window, Boohoo, why's she dating?"

I think I deserve just as much attention as these other people do. I am his wife, after all.
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