ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Relationships & Social Issues
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #121  
Old 08-29-08, 06:48 AM
IcanBNormal IcanBNormal is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northeast Pa
Posts: 3
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
IcanBNormal is on a distinguished road
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

OMG! No one seems to understand around here in my hick town what it's like in being an adult and having ADD. What's worse is that I am a mom. I had a severe melt down because I forgot to take my meds. I don't have friends that know what I am going through, infact I don't have friends at all. If any one lives in Pa, has ADD and wants to be a support let me know cause my Husband doesn't understand what it's like and it is so frustrating. Anyway I am done venting. TTYL.

Last edited by meadd823; 09-07-08 at 05:54 AM.. Reason: suicide questionable comment removed
Reply With Quote
  #122  
Old 09-07-08, 06:03 AM
meadd823's Avatar
meadd823 meadd823 is offline
Super Meowaderator
 

Join Date: May 2004
Location: address unknown
Posts: 20,874
Blog Entries: 38
Thanks: 6,837
Thanked 15,401 Times in 6,116 Posts
meadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

There is a life before noon - get your *** out of bed - I am NOT going to be doing squat out side when it is 100 degrees in the shade. We do not work together because you are to freaking lazy to get out of bed when it is cool out side . . . like it is in the morning
__________________


Follow ADDForums on Twitter & Facebook
Reply With Quote
  #123  
Old 09-12-08, 08:37 PM
olavia's Avatar
olavia olavia is offline
Contributor
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 362
Thanks: 170
Thanked 176 Times in 120 Posts
olavia has a spectacular aura aboutolavia has a spectacular aura about
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Why donīt the normal men like me?
Why do I always blow it when I least want to?
Can an ADD woman find a man in dating hell?

Tonight was THE DATE.
Since I really thought I would like him, I had put in a lot of planning, including talking it over with my coach.

All of this was forgotten the moment I got there. One look at him and I understood that this was a neurotypical individual, and a very goodlooking, nice and sympathetic one too. So, whosh, and my selfconfidence left with the wind. And I started trying to do my best. Which was disastrous, because I went into a hyperfocus and could not get out, and all I could think for the whole evening was:

Why canīt I stop fidgeting?
Why canīt I stop talking so fast?
Your tempo is wrong, follow his rhytm! (impossible)
Why do I have to tell him all the stupid jokes about myself?
Why canīt I focus?

I so desperately wanted to focus,be slow and precice and relaxed. And it is not that I am weird or anything, like really smart, funny and goodlooking too. But neurotypical guys bring out the worst of the worst of insecurities in me and all I can think is:

HOW CAN I ENTER THAT WORLD?

Just his body language freaked me out. No too rapid movements, always the same, pleasant tone of voice, no half sentences, no stumbling while talking. The manners! The air of confidence! I was so jealous I didnīt know what to do with myself. I want to have that controle too! This is not fair!!

I just wanted to scream that please ignore my body language, it has a life of its own! Instead another happy joke.

Then we left the place, and I was of course totally blurred and had no idea what to say, so the guy said, well then, see you later perhaps with the tone that makes you realize that all that while when I was so busy trying to look fine that I had no time to actually think, he had been judging me, and just managed to hide his emotions. Just imagine, the freedom, thinking inside his head, and nothing is visible on the outside.

And I knew that I blew it.

And itīs one thing that somebody doesnīt like you, But the freeking feeling comes when you feel that you are actually a good match in many ways, but thereīs absolutely no way your busy mind is going to give you a break to let you show who you really are inside all the fuzz.

Buhu.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #124  
Old 09-13-08, 01:25 AM
spacemanspiff's Avatar
spacemanspiff spacemanspiff is offline
Jr Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Grand junction colorado
Posts: 21
Thanks: 17
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
spacemanspiff is on a distinguished road
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! i just want a gosh dern date! i can talk to women, i am confident, i make them laugh and smile, but when it comes to asking them out they say yes, and thats IT! i call to ask if i can pick them up or meet them somewhere, and no answer! i want to hold someone sooooo baaad right now that i am shaking! i jst moved to a new town, i don't know anyone, i don't know where i am going most the time, i drink like a fish to ease the frustrations, i am loosing my noodle!
i go out and meet tons of people but NOTHING happens after that. i have a phone full of fone numbers and not one of them will kick it with me. grrrrr! and something about new socks. thanks, i needed to get that out. *sighs*
__________________
A.D.H.D. Attention deficit HIGH DEFINITION! WEEEHEEE
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to spacemanspiff For This Useful Post:
browneyes_326 (09-19-08)
  #125  
Old 09-15-08, 11:41 PM
jawknee jawknee is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Ontario
Posts: 2
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
jawknee is on a distinguished road
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

You've been always pushing me to "tell you how I feel" and to not
"hide myself from you" Why is it that when I finally have it in me to share
how upset I am, and how much I struggle with bottling emotions you decide to leave.
"Can I talk to you tomorrow?"
No, the next time you'll talk to me is when I'm good and ready.

I feel so rejected.
Reply With Quote
  #126  
Old 09-18-08, 02:50 PM
berdel4 berdel4 is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Birmingham, Michigan
Posts: 2
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
berdel4 is on a distinguished road
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Hi

I am new to this site. I did a google search "my boyfriend has ADD" and I found a link to a thread on this site. Let me first say, what a great site!! Now, I'll get down to it.

Let me explain the situation..
I am 23 years old and my boyfriend is 22 years old. We met in college, when he was a freshman and I was a sophomore. We were friends but didn't start dating until the end of my senior year. I finished school a year and a half ago and he is now in his final semester (and I couldn't be happier!).

So, like I said, we have been dating for nearly a year and a half. I knew from the start that he had ADD. He always took his adderall pills 2-3 times daily, but I never really understood what ADD was. I thought it was simply, he couldn't concentrate.

We are coming to a very rough patch in our relationship. Some like to call it the power struggle stage (I have a very boring job, so I do a lot of internet searches!!). We are finding little things that we used to overlook are now annoying us. I think I overlooked the symptoms of his ADD, and now they are getting to me.

Things like, saying he will call me back in 10 minutes and then simply forgetting. I understand that people forget things once in a while, but this happens on a regular basis. At first, I just let it go. I didn't want to be a nagging girlfriend. I figured he was just getting used to the responsibility of having a significant other. As time passed, I started to get offended by it. I didn't understand how, if he loved me so much and cared about me so much, he could just forget to call me back, not even 10 minutes later. I just didn't get it. I would confront him and we would eventually get into an argument about it. He would get defensive and say I'm attacking him. This is just one example.

Everyday for as long as I can remember has been a struggle.

I need help. I don't want to leave this relationship. I love him very much. I know he has great intentions, but just get so frustrated and annoyed with this that I don't think I am helping the matter any.
Reply With Quote
  #127  
Old 09-19-08, 07:16 PM
Woman on the Verge Woman on the Verge is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: United States
Posts: 119
Thanks: 63
Thanked 50 Times in 33 Posts
Woman on the Verge will become famous soon enough
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

I HATE it that my husband thinks it's ok to come home from being at work all day long and head straight out to the garage. He doesn't care to even say hello to the kids, much less spend anytime with them!
Doesn't he care that I'm home all freakin day long with them...by myself! From wake-up til bedtime is all MY responsibility! He does NOTHING with them. Why can't he get it through his thick head that someday they will grown and gone. Probably with very few memories of him doing anything with them.
Why did I ever marry this inconsiderate, selfish and hateful man?
__________________
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn, burn, burn like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww!"
- Jack Kerouac
Reply With Quote
  #128  
Old 09-19-08, 08:52 PM
browneyes_326's Avatar
browneyes_326 browneyes_326 is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Rota Spain
Posts: 159
Thanks: 174
Thanked 103 Times in 50 Posts
browneyes_326 will become famous soon enough
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by spacemanspiff View Post
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! i just want a gosh dern date! i can talk to women, i am confident, i make them laugh and smile, but when it comes to asking them out they say yes, and thats IT! i call to ask if i can pick them up or meet them somewhere, and no answer! i want to hold someone sooooo baaad right now that i am shaking! i jst moved to a new town, i don't know anyone, i don't know where i am going most the time, i drink like a fish to ease the frustrations, i am loosing my noodle!
i go out and meet tons of people but NOTHING happens after that. i have a phone full of fone numbers and not one of them will kick it with me. grrrrr! and something about new socks. thanks, i needed to get that out. *sighs*
Haha Spaceman ... I had to laugh (not at you!) join the club from the other perspective. Maybe your meeting ADD girls?! Let me explain.
First, you seem to have the same ADD personality I do ... never met a stranger, people are drawn to you ... you make them laugh & smile ... Funny though I get really excited about meeting a new guy, gladly exchange numbers & am sure I want to see them again ... a day passes and I go into my 'hide out' hermit mode and end up blowing them off ... even though I really did want to see them again!! Am i weird? maybe, regardless it has caused a lot of interesting reactions ... I'm the queen of canceling plans unless it w/ the few people who I know understand my quirks. It never has ANYTHING to do with the other person.

Well, anywho, good luck! I'd hang out w/ ya if you lived in my city. It's Friday, go get a drink already

PS when I was new here I felt EXACTLY the same way you do. In desperate need of human contact and would go out drinking A LOT ... self- medication ...
__________________
"Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies Opportunity" -Albert Einstien


Reply With Quote
  #129  
Old 09-29-08, 03:35 AM
meadd823's Avatar
meadd823 meadd823 is offline
Super Meowaderator
 

Join Date: May 2004
Location: address unknown
Posts: 20,874
Blog Entries: 38
Thanks: 6,837
Thanked 15,401 Times in 6,116 Posts
meadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

I am helping you get your paper work together and you are griping because I am asking you how a case of beer could possibly be classified as a business expense. If you want this done answer the damn question without the extra griping - this is your filing mess the lest you could do is be half as cooperative while I try and sort it out - btw if it doesn't have a date and it doesn't have a item listed I am shredding it if you do not like it YOU STRAIGHTEN OUT YOUR OWN ****


Damn ADHD men
__________________


Follow ADDForums on Twitter & Facebook
Reply With Quote
  #130  
Old 10-10-08, 09:46 AM
meriellyn's Avatar
meriellyn meriellyn is offline
Forum Guru
 

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: SC
Posts: 800
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 7
Thanked 230 Times in 87 Posts
meriellyn has a spectacular aura aboutmeriellyn has a spectacular aura about
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Ugh... what is with guys not being willing to make plans in advance?
And ferchrissakes, why even both repeatedly asking me out and wanting to get together for MONTHS but not be able to make dang plans a few days in advance to make it happen? Hello, I have this thing called a LIFE and if you'd like me to reserve a chunk of it to have dinner with you, I need to know when.
And I have two guys doing this right now. Ugh.
I wanted to give them a chance and I'm trying to get a little dating practice in (I've never been good at slow casual dating and am trying to do something different) but this is ridiculous.

And the guy I've seen casually for a while now (no long term potential... tried that already) invited me to go on a mini-vaca for the weekend then left a day early without telling me!

Boys suck. I went from almost too many options for the weekend to zilch.

The one for tonight has missed the boat completely but I stupidly gave the Sat one an extention on nailing down plans but still haven't heard anything.

I guess I'll just end up having to tell them all to eff off because I know I'll get a "hey, what are you doing? Let's go out!" call tonight or tomorrow or both and a last minute "Hey, let's do something then let's go on that long weekend" call next week.
Too little too late.

Don't eff with an impatient woman who has a hard enough time managing her time for day to day stuff, much less fitting in last minute dates. PLAN AHEAD. Douchebags.

Hah, I think the fact that I'm PMSing is making me more aggravated with all of this. Probably not a good weekend for dates anyway. Lol. But I had a loooong stressful week and wanna go out and relax.

But this has been a regular issue for a long while now. I seem to end up finding guys who just can't bring themselves to nail down plans even a couple days in advance.
Is it unreasonable to want to know by Thursday afternoon whether we're if we're going out Sat night or not???

Reply With Quote
  #131  
Old 10-27-08, 05:13 PM
Michiko74's Avatar
Michiko74 Michiko74 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,418
Thanks: 562
Thanked 1,622 Times in 803 Posts
Michiko74 has a reputation beyond reputeMichiko74 has a reputation beyond reputeMichiko74 has a reputation beyond reputeMichiko74 has a reputation beyond reputeMichiko74 has a reputation beyond reputeMichiko74 has a reputation beyond reputeMichiko74 has a reputation beyond reputeMichiko74 has a reputation beyond reputeMichiko74 has a reputation beyond reputeMichiko74 has a reputation beyond reputeMichiko74 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

I have enough issues of my own. I refuse to carry anyone else's.

Don't come to me to fulfil something that's missing in you. I want to help you, but you should have done the legwork yourself already.
Reply With Quote
  #132  
Old 10-27-08, 07:24 PM
DesertDave's Avatar
DesertDave DesertDave is offline
ADDvanced Contributor
 

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 606
Thanks: 285
Thanked 199 Times in 141 Posts
DesertDave is just really niceDesertDave is just really niceDesertDave is just really niceDesertDave is just really nice
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

LOL!

I know: it's not funny
__________________
dx - ADHD combined, at this point. 7/2009: now w/anxiety
rx - things the Dr had me try: Wellbutrin, Strattera, methylphenidate, Adderall, Vyvanse,
other trials: SAM-e, Fish oil, Mg, 5-htp
---! I need to update this. I'll put that on the list


No, I don't proofread my postings. I type, I click submit. Then cringe if I go back & read it later.
Reply With Quote
  #133  
Old 10-27-08, 07:33 PM
meriellyn's Avatar
meriellyn meriellyn is offline
Forum Guru
 

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: SC
Posts: 800
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 7
Thanked 230 Times in 87 Posts
meriellyn has a spectacular aura aboutmeriellyn has a spectacular aura about
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Enough with the mixed signals, people.
I don't have the time or energy for this crap. :P

Oh, and no I won't set your friend up with one of my friends. I don't know the guy, I don't have that many female friends, and I have no desire to be in the middle of stuff like that. :P
I'm having enough trouble with my own dating life. I can't be responsible for other people's as well!
__________________
I'm in a war, of head versus heart
It's always this way
My head is weak; My heart always speaks
Before I know what it will say

- "Crooked Teeth" ~ Deathcab for Cutie



Reply With Quote
  #134  
Old 10-27-08, 07:43 PM
Grafter's Avatar
Grafter Grafter is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 2,469
Blog Entries: 2
Thanks: 1,287
Thanked 1,558 Times in 770 Posts
Grafter has a brilliant futureGrafter has a brilliant futureGrafter has a brilliant futureGrafter has a brilliant futureGrafter has a brilliant futureGrafter has a brilliant futureGrafter has a brilliant futureGrafter has a brilliant futureGrafter has a brilliant futureGrafter has a brilliant futureGrafter has a brilliant future
Re: The Relationship - vent thread



__________________
Bored by the mundane, fascinated by the challenging, & completely mesmerized by the impossible.
Reply With Quote
  #135  
Old 10-30-08, 08:11 PM
reality911's Avatar
reality911 reality911 is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: NYC
Posts: 66
Thanks: 8
Thanked 11 Times in 7 Posts
reality911 is on a distinguished road
Re: The Relationship - vent thread

me:"I called you 10 times yesterday, and i really needed someone to talk to after i got fired"
him:"I just didn't feel like dealing with anyone else's problems"
WHAT?? I have helped this man furnish his new apartment, cooked him dinner, bought his kid books and things, and been there to support him emotionally when he is having problems with his ex or anything else. And what did I get? dinner, twice...c'est tout. And HE doesn't have time to deal with ANYONE ELSE's problems???Apparently, I am not good enough to be considered separate from everyone else. Well, fine, I am not going to deal with YOUR problems whenever I feel like it too.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What happens to our relationship... GreenEyesDancin Relationships & Social Issues 10 02-09-11 05:34 PM
About Thread "Hijacking" scuro Forums Help, Q&A 7 05-25-09 09:01 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:08 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums