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Old 07-01-08, 12:33 PM
failurebydesign failurebydesign is offline

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Talking adhd, eating disorders and depression

I am a new member- my name is ally and im a 24 year old female who has just moved to turkey with my parents from london. Although im a 'grown up' my parents didn't trust me to be able to look after myself by myself. And given my historical record I had resigned myself to thinking that i would never be able to get out of my head and into the real world. I have struggled with bulimia nervosa for 10 years and it actually got worse when i came here in April, till the point I was binging and purging from the time i woke up to the time i slept. Due to constant failures in university (i have started and dropped out of 4 different courses), social relations (everyone always thought i was crazy since i was always so hyper and never stayed on topic or understood when to shut up), my family (they always thought i was choosing to be bulimic and a quitter on purpose) and myself ( i have never been able to solve my problems only made it worse), I was in a vicious cycle of self-hatred. I blamed myself for everything and the harder i tried to control my impulses so i wouldn't binge on all the food in the house the more i did.

I knew in the back of my mind that I had a Add because all my friends have always told me that my attention span was like a 5 year olds and that i rambled from one point to the next without any connections between them. I took a test on the internet for adult add from and the results indicated 105, which was a very high high percentage indicating i had add ( over 70 indicates that u probably have add). Although add is known in America, in England the doctors aren't keen to diagnose u with add, and think of it as an excuse to get ritalin. They put me on prozac and citalopram but neither of these antidepressants helped either my ed, social phobia or my ability to finish tasks. As I had been undiagnosed for so long I had developed a substance abuse problem, which was another reason they were very reluctant to even consider ADD.

I researched ADD in adults even more and was surprised to read that self-medicating through food is common for undiagnosed women with add and that my eating disorder could be related to add. In addition although i stoppped drugs i had found since i did and whenever i have in the past, i displace the confusion in my head with constant and increased binges and purges.

I decided to try ritalin and went to a doctor in turkey who prescribed me 10 mg pills for 30 days. Even though I was hoping this would stop the self-hatred and depression, I was not so sure whether it would help the eating disorder i could not get rid of and was sure i would have to put up with till the day it killed me. However on the 2 weeks i have been on them they have been a lifesaver- i used to think of suicide at least once every few days, not once has it crossed my mind since taking meds. I used to binge and purge 5 times a day and now it is only once or twice when the meds wear off. I used to be resigned to the fact i was a born loser but now so much of my behaviour has a cause and it is not only me to blame.

My question after that long rant is has anyone here also suffered from an eating disorder/ and or depression that they found to be relation to an undiagnosed case of add?

Also can anyone who does suffer from multiple disorders and is an adult tell me what meds and dosage they r on because the doctors here don't speak english very well and ive found that 20 mgs (what i started on ) dosent cut it and im having to take 30, but i know that 40 mgs is what my body is telling me i need in order to not binge and purge at the end of the night, but i'm worried that that might be too much. Also i'm only taking ritalin (not LA or anything) and which one is more effective- and is ritalin or adderall better for you?

thank you and sorry for the looooong post!
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Old 07-01-08, 01:06 PM
anonimi anonimi is offline
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Re: adhd, eating disorders and depression

Nice story. How come you moved to Turkey? wouldn't mind hearing about your family reasons

What you describe is kinda Ironic, because Ritalin lowers your appetatite and many people say that they lose weight and are forcing themselves to eat.

I guess your problem was never "digestional" (I'm not very familiar with the distinction between Bulemia and Anorexia). I dont believe Ritalin has an effect of restraining vomiting. However it does affect your appetite and your digestion system.

You should check out your ADHD. Does Ritalin affect your life in all the different aspects? can you rad a book? be part of a conversation? listen and implement? if so, you might actually be AD/HD and ritalin is the drug for you.

Regarding your psychological reactions (or physiological, Bulemia) I would consult a certified psychiatrist to put a finger on what ever it is that happens to you. Dont self diagonise yourself through the Internet. Its a major error. It might lead you on your way, but you shouldn't make any judgement regarding Cyberspace info.

Hope you feel better, hope you find out what it is that bothers you mentally, and I sure hope as hell its AD/HD alone, and nothing else (more inherent or complex).

Best of luck!
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Old 07-01-08, 02:08 PM
failurebydesign failurebydesign is offline

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Re: adhd, eating disorders and depression

thanks for your reply.

I have a problem with looking after myself. I can never complete anything, as in university, forms, bills, and have never held a job for more than a month. When things have seemed difficult in the past i used to at least give them a go before giving up, but as i got older and failed to achieve anything despite my potential i became more and more unconfident in my abilities. I get stressed very easily if i can't concentrate on something, or if something appears difficult and i end up eating instead of trying to make myself do something else. the more i expect myself to succeed the more i am doomed to failure.

I am 24 but i have no income, no money and i dropped out of university because i got so scared that i was not normal and that i couldn't connect to anyone or be part of a conversation and sit still instead of running to climb a tree or do something spontaneously stupid and inappropriate for my age. and this is with 18 years olds even though i shud be more mature since i was 23! i totally ended up isolating myself and living in my room getting addicted to the internet and not leaving except to go to the supermarket. i ended up getting so depressed that the counsellor got involved and my parents are scared i guess that i cant survive on my own.

i dont eat cos im hungry but i eat out of impulse. i know i shouldnt but my mind cant stay focused on anything so in order to watch tv or read a book i have to be eating at the same time. i cant just sit and watch tv or concentrate without food. but i have noticed since taking the meds i can just do one thing at once instead of having 10 tasks going, nothing completed and depressed because everytime i started something i ended up on a binge. i also find not that meds supresss me eating or puking but that puking requires a lot of mental frustration and anger, and without that rain cloud in my head it dosent work. i can still binge but i know the consequence is that i can't puke it up properly so i will gain the weight i eat. and that is a more than u can imagine. also because i dont get angry at myself and others i dont feel the urge to binge anyWAY. my dad says my mood to my family is much better; i dont explode at little things and get emotionally charged at the most silly things (i used to cut myself because i didnt understand that people arent'; mad at me and hate me and that a little comment isnt to be taken literally)

i just want a future and to feel like im not a loser and that i cant control myself. i want to prove to my parents that i can look after myself and not to be a burden for them for the rest of my life. and the meds have shown me the impossible; i mite be able to live a life free of bulimia and depression and that maybe i could even start up a distance learning university prog to complete my degree.

i hope im right and not getting my hopes up!
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Old 07-01-08, 03:07 PM
ToneTone ToneTone is offline
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Re: adhd, eating disorders and depression

Yes, adhd'ers are vulnerable to sex addiction, drug addiction, alcoholism, divorce, bankruptcy and on and on .... yes, depression is common. Read through the board here. There's tons of stuff on this.

I'm delighted to hear of the turn in your life after ritalin. Good luck.
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Old 07-01-08, 04:19 PM
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Softail194 Softail194 is offline

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Re: adhd, eating disorders and depression

depression, yes, eating disorder-only when not on adderall...otherwise I just feel tired all day and foggy...even if I'm doing a hobby or running.
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Old 07-01-08, 07:19 PM
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Re: adhd, eating disorders and depression

Yes, I was bulemic when I was 16 and continued to be a binge eater into adulthood. ADD was diagnosed at 30, finally. I have only just started meds, so I can't say much about they affect my eating, but I definitely draw a link between ADD and eating disorders for myself.

Kathleen Nadeau talks about this in her books. (Understanding Women with ADHD is the one I've been reading).

"all the things that truly matter beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace arise from beyond the mind" - Eckhart Tolle
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Old 07-01-08, 08:03 PM
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curseandablessi curseandablessi is offline
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Re: adhd, eating disorders and depression

Bulimic and anorexic back in my late teens and early twenties. Not really a binge eater for the last 15 years or so, more of an emotional eater. Not diagnosed with ADD until now (41 YO).

Diff meds work better for diff people. Since you seem to be getting some help with the Ritalin with difficulty when the drug is wearing off, perhaps talking to your doc about a time released version might be a good idea.

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